"Am I in an Abusive Relationship" Self Quiz only uses HE pronoun for the aggressor?

MechPlasma · 2012-10-14T08:36:14+00:00

Tests like this should ask what gender the significant other is, and adjust the pronouns as such.

Its very distracting to see a pronoun that doesn't match the gender of the SO, and takes the focus off of getting help with the abuse. There's no reason why the webpage can't take 2 seconds to have the user select the gender.

amazinguser · 2012-10-14T08:05:59+00:00

I really don't understand how they can only assume the aggressor is a man... What about situations when the mom threatens that you'll never see your kids again? Women can hurt men and abuse men. Why couldn't they just use 'they' as the pronoun?

found on 2X

Gingor · 2012-10-14T13:23:01+00:00

Once upon a time, "he" was the pronoun one used when talking about somebody of unspecified gender. That was before some people started throwing fits over patriarchical grammar.

2012-10-14T16:42:18+00:00

On a side note, I read a similar list a few years back and realized that I had several relationships that hit several points on this list. It definitely helped me reassess the type of women I was attracted to and why.

Many girls see lists like this in their adolescent years, but guys generally dont. To me, that is the more serious men's rights issue here. Guys are expected to "man up" and just take the abuse. They get no sympathy and no help to get out of the situation or deal with the aftermath.

Planned_Serendipity · 2012-10-14T18:04:33+00:00

It appears that they have promptly responded to complaints because right now the pronouns are all "partner." Good for them. However, I do wish that it wasn't the go to standard to imply that domestic violence is a gendered problem with men as perpetrators and women as victims. We all no that that isn't the case, but the majority of the population doesn't really realize that.

2012-10-14T17:25:50+00:00

What are the stats on abuse in relationships? If men are typically the abuser then it makes sense to use the masculine pronoun in the quiz.

If the majority of abuse was committed by the female, then it would make sense to use the feminine.

I can see how this is a form of insinuation that ALL abusers are male, but given reality how offended should I be?

Peil · 2012-10-14T12:01:32+00:00

I didn't see He on it, just "your partner". Maybe they changed it or I missed something?

MechPlasma · 2012-10-14T09:53:57+00:00

Oh man, I'm really glad I saw this quiz! I really couldn't tell if I was in an abusive relationship, but then this quiz told me that I am if he keeps threatening to kill me if I leave him. I TOTALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT YOU GUYS, I THOUGHT MURDERS WERE JUST ANOTHER PART OF MARRIAGE!

Title	"Am I in an Abusive Relationship" Self Quiz only uses HE pronoun for the aggressor?
Author	iamnotfromtexas90
Upvotes	68
Comments	27
Date	October 14, 2012 8:04 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11gccb/am_i_in_an_abusive_relationship_self_quiz_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship-self-quiz-only.1011397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1011397

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