What's the best way to bring up and discuss sex being a need in a relationship, eg sex when the other partner isn't in the mood?

jamess16 · 2012-09-13T18:30:02+00:00

You don't bring it up when the other partner isn't in the mood. You bring it up at a completely different time. Most people will benefit from having a conversation "out of the moment" as opposed to when you're still in it.

truthjusticeca · 2012-09-13T20:31:48+00:00

Sex isn't a need like food and water is, it's a desire and can even be a requirement.

If you're partner isn't fulfulling your requirements then you need to be more clear about what you want in a relationship.

If that doesn't work out then settle with fapping or get a new woman that fulfills your requirements.

2012-09-13T18:22:01+00:00

Masturbate and/or find a new partner.

also /r/sex

mythin · 2012-09-13T18:56:52+00:00

/r/sex

/r/relationships

/r/DeadBedrooms

This is not a men's rights issue. I'd also say it's possibly an attempt to get someone here to advocate rape. The last part of the title, with no body text whatsoever, leads me to believe this.

eg sex when the other partner isn't in the mood?

AnnArchist · 2012-09-14T04:38:14+00:00

this shit is a fucking landmine.

Date women with healthy sexual appetites and good communication skills.

AnthonyZarat · 2012-09-13T21:22:24+00:00

Log on to your laptop computer right infront of her, go to a girly site, and solve your own problem.

If she does not complain, everyone is happy.

If she complains, tell her you are doing it to respect her choice. Unless she want to make a different choice?

PS Why are you in a relationship at all? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea of the risks?

SentientRobot · 2012-09-14T03:08:50+00:00

Sex can come in many forms and need not always involve a penis in a vagina. It's rare for couples to have the exact same sex drive. If partner A wants sex and partner B doesn't, then partner B should be willing to help in some other way (bj, hand job, fingering whatever). If partner B doesn't want intercourse and isn't interested in helping Partner A get off in some other way, then they may need to open up the relationship so Partner A can get satisfaction from someone else. If this is unacceptable Partner A will need to be ok with Masturbation or end the relationship. That's what it comes down to.

Also, look into a podcast called savage love.

rightsbot · 2012-09-13T18:20:17+00:00

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Liverotto · 2012-09-14T00:25:58+00:00

After you buy her a mink coat.

2012-09-14T00:54:03+00:00

Masturbate and/or find a new partner.

Aaod · 2012-09-14T03:16:11+00:00

I personally advocate for a magnet on the fridge system. If one partner has a higher sex drive he leaves his/her magnet in the middle and the person with a lower sex drive moves his/her own magnet around up and down to show what kind of mood they are in and whether their partner should initiate or not.

chavelah · 2012-09-13T18:52:40+00:00

I can only speak for myself, but during the periods when I was pregnant or our kids were very young and I had a much lower sex drive than my husband (which is very common, so if you have a new baby you might want to just wait this whole thing out), what I wanted was to negotiate a concrete agreement and stick to it and no more bitching or whining by either party. 3x/week or whatever, put it in calendar and I'll add it to my chore list for that day. My husband was totally opposed to this, and offended by the idea of categorizing sex as a chore.

But if you are more pragmatic about it, maybe that approach would work in your household. I know it would have been a great relief to me to not have to dread advances I didn't want, and the fight that might happen if I rejected them.

VerySpecialSnowflake · 2012-09-13T18:55:25+00:00

Have a discussion, but not in the moments after you are shot down after initiating sex. Sexual compatibility is very important to relationships, and maybe there are things you and your partner need to communicate about that you haven't been. Don't guilt him/her or issue pathetic ultimatums. Just try to genuinely to get to the root of things and figure out what you can both do to get the spark again. Good luck!

owigotprcd · 2012-09-17T19:20:03+00:00

Edit; meant to say; Talking to a woman about your physical needs is a pussy move. You have to appeal to their emotions. No woman ever got wet by being read the finer points of a high school physical science book. Besides, would you really want to bone someone that you've had to 'convince' in to bed?

Not in any specific order; Be attractive. Take a shower. Smell good. Lose the gut. Gain confidence (the most important). Get a haircut. Get a full time job that affords financial security. Smile at her a lot. Take an interest in whatever she's yammering on about at the moment. Dont talk about yourself. Stop being a push over. Take up a hobby. Do this hobby with enthusiasm. Do this hobby alone / with out her. One day invite her to partake in it with you, not as a partner but as a guest. However you would comeon to her in the past, do the opposite. Do it any way but missionary. Do it in the kitchen, in a park, in the back yard. If she doesn't want to bang you, fuck it. Youre a handsome, good smelling guy with a full time job, awesome hobby and confidence to spare. Any chick who doesn't like that was only looking to bring you down to begin with.

Title	What's the best way to bring up and discuss sex being a need in a relationship, eg sex when the other partner isn't in the mood?
Author	jamess16
Upvotes	1
Comments	32
Date	September 13, 2012 6:19 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zu1a8/whats_the_best_way_to_bring_up_and_discuss_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/whats-the-best-way-to-bring-up-and-discuss-sex.1013583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1013583

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