How do you feel about chivalry?

Kaminohanshin · 2012-09-04T01:33:52+00:00

Here's the thing, "Back in the day" society had specific rules for how men acted and specific rules for how women acted in return. Call it "chivalry" or "ettiquette" or whatever. For the most part this was fine, until women decided they didn't particularly care for the role society set out for them, and wanted to expand into what was considered the man's "sphere." This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been a problem except women didn't want to give up the benefits of their gender role along with the restrictions.

if you expect men to continue to fulfill their "traditional" gender role, and all that implies, then you must continue to fulfill your traditional gender role, and all that implies as well.

You cannot claim to be a man's equal when it suits you, and demand special treatment when it doesn't. Life doesn't work that way.

sowhatisit · 2012-09-04T01:47:42+00:00

Let me give you my opinion: I think you're creating a false dichotomy in your head by suggesting that by not being chivalrous, a person is automatically an asshole. My alternative to being neither a chivalrous person nor an asshole is to interact with PEOPLE/HUMANS the same way.

If I've stepped through a door, and there's PERSON behind me, I hold the door open.
If I'm sitting on the bus, and a PERSON looks like they need a seat, i give it to them.
If a PERSON has their hands full, and looks like they need a hand, I offer to carry something for them.

TheBauhausCure · 2012-09-04T01:25:32+00:00

I think this should be defined by the relationship. If the woman wants chivalry, she can't expect to be "equal". If you want your man to pull out chairs for you, you need to pull out chairs for him. If you want him to bring you chocolates on one date, you need to bring him some on another.

2012-09-04T01:54:52+00:00

Chivalry is not equality. You can be polite without treating women as some sort of weak and helpless creature. It is an old fashion custom that needs to end.

ignatiusloyola · 2012-09-04T00:46:33+00:00

There is a way to be equal without being an ass - you can not be an ass by not expecting people to hold doors for you, or pull chairs out for you, or any other entitled, prissy qualities your father taught you.

ghebert001 · 2012-09-04T01:49:09+00:00

What do men get in return for chivalry? What is the female equivalent of chivalry? If you can't think of an answer it's because there currently isn't one. There used to be one though. It's called working your ass off being a homemaker cooking, cleaning, raising the kids. Women earned chivalry back then...now they expect it just because they were born with a vagina.

is there away to be equal without being an ass?

Refusing to be chivalrous does not make one an ass...expecting special treatment for no reason other than your gender does make you a cunt however. Nobody owes you special treatment because, guess what, you're not special. You don't get a trophy just for showing up.

Just because you were raised a certain way doesn't mean it was the right way...you should try to think for yourself for a change instead of only behaving in ways that "Daddy" will approve of.

Southpaw_xi · 2012-09-04T01:56:39+00:00

"You don't hold don't hold a door open for a lady because she is a lady, you hold it open because you are a nice person"-me

truthjusticeca · 2012-09-04T01:08:56+00:00

Holding doors and pulling chairs is peanuts.

The real issue is when men are used for women's violence by proxy.

cthulufunk · 2012-09-04T02:04:35+00:00

It's dead. Women killed it, yet often complain about its demise...when they're not complaining about instances of it, that is.

I don't know what's "sexist" about opening a door for someone, or pulling a chair out for them. These are just remnants of an older and more complex code, of which adherence was expected of both courtly men and ladies.

I think it's fine once you've become familiar with someone, but not before. It shouldnt be something that's automatically expected, your dad's era is far in the past. The past 40 years or so have wrecked social havoc on etiquette. Refer to this clusterfuck of an article to see what I'm talking about.

dyse85 · 2012-09-04T20:19:43+00:00

personally i like chivalry, i like being the guy to open doors and let the lady sit in front, i like it because i'm a nice guy and i enjoy being nice. my suggestion is to realize no man HAS to do anything. to a certain degree "chivalry" is bred into us. that being said, anyone who EXPECTS kindness from me can burn in hell. i do nice things because i like it, not because you deserve it any more than anyone else. Respect the people who respect you. Remember the pendulum swings both ways and if someone is nice enough to hold your door or pull out your chair be nice enough to smile and say thank you :) your dad sounds like a cool guy

rightsbot · 2012-09-04T00:26:18+00:00

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2012-09-04T15:33:03+00:00

I'm female and grew up being taught to stand up on the bus for a pregnant woman, hold the door for whoever was coming, etc.

Watermelon_Salesman · 2012-09-05T06:22:54+00:00

I see no point in chivalry, but I like the idea of helping people out, no matter their sex. We can help people out carrying groceries, holding doors open, and we can even pay the check when inviting a friend/relative/SO in case we're either feeling generous or simply earning much more.

But the idea of chivalry implies an obligation to do something for a person only because of their sex, and this is incredibly stupid. Ladies first? Why?

StrongMRA · 2012-09-04T06:17:50+00:00

Feminists should stop sending men to jail en masse based on false accusations. Then we can start talking about chivalry.

2012-09-05T00:35:41+00:00

Hate it but on the other hand it is still the only honorable way for a man to behave. So it's a sort of rock and a hard place in a day and age where females want to be WOMYN, instead of LADIES.

tiffybug69 · 2012-09-04T11:14:36+00:00

When I said is there away to be egual without being an ass I ment as I've seen there are two kinds of men. Those who open doors and pulls out chairs. And those who are like..hoe bitch fuck bitchs get money. Not if you don't put a women above you that your an ass.

Title	How do you feel about chivalry?
Author	tiffybug69
Upvotes	3
Comments	30
Date	September 4, 2012 12:26 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zb4tf/how_do_you_feel_about_chivalry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-you-feel-about-chivalry.1014337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1014337

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