I'm thinking about just giving in and accepting my role.

DirtyTre · 2012-02-25T20:49:13+00:00

((hugs))

I have the exact same schedule with my kids and we're tight. I also get half of their school vacations and I try to make them really count. I'm not saying that you should give up, I don't know what your situation is. How old are your kids? How far away do you live from them.

As far as your wife goes, you need to let this go. If she says it's over, it is. Use the "free" time you have without the kids to see a therapist or hit the gym, whatever it is that makes you calmer and stronger so you can be there for the kids when they need it.

The_Patriarchy · 2012-02-25T22:01:28+00:00

Preserving original text in case it's changed. This is not meant to insinuate that you personally will change anything, it's just that some people have in an attempt to troll this subreddit and, as a result, we now preserve the text of self.posts.

Full text:

Dec 28th, I filed for divorce. To make this perfectly clear, I do not want to get divorced. I love my wife (despite the mistakes we've both made and how much she doesn't love me) & I dearly love my two children (ages 3 & 6). I am currently under temporary orders where I get standard visitation (every Thursday & every other weekend). After finding this subreddit & reading more, I'm starting to think that I should just give up hope. Maybe I should let go of the idea that I'll be able to see my kids more often. Maybe I should let go of the idea that my soon to be ex will see the light and decide she wants to be fair. Maybe I should give up on the idea that I might one day have my family back together again.

Not being with my babies is torturing me. Some days I just feel like I won't be able to handle it. I cry every day. I still can't concentrate. It's just really rough. I don't know what to think. Sometimes I feel hopeless.

The system, obviously, works against the dads (especially here in Texas). I'm just afraid of buying in to the delusion that one day everything will be fine only to be let down again.

end

Good luck man, and don't give up hope. Things do work out sometimes and they might work out for you...but if you give up, they definitely won't.

DirtyTre · 2012-02-26T06:18:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Psuffix · 2012-02-25T21:45:02+00:00

My question is why aren't you fighting for equal visitation?

mikesteane · 2012-02-26T02:23:45+00:00

I keep posting messages like this: It is in a woman's best interest to have an actively involved father for her children. The real father is much better than a step-dad. Normal women want well-adjusted successful children and this is very much less likely when the father has been alienated or access has been minimal. Additionally, when it is too late to do anything about it, children will understand who is really to blame for the absence of a father in their life. The best bet for fathers being abused in this manner is probably to try and get the mothers to see that it is in their own best interest to encourage active fatherhood from the real dad. That is the approach I would take.

MRMRising · 2012-02-25T21:55:52+00:00

I think you should give Mel Fiet a call at the National Center for Men. He helped me get through some tough times and may be able to help you. Anytime wou want to talk post here. Take care.

DirtyTre · 2012-02-26T02:32:57+00:00

Please fight for equal visitation.

DirtyTre · 2012-02-26T04:11:11+00:00

I feel I must encourage you to keep fighting, no matter what. This society needs more men to stand up and fight for their parental rights. If no one ever does, the problem will never be fixed.

carchamp1 · 2012-02-26T06:07:19+00:00

You should really contact Fathers and Families to see if they have any ideas on resources. I think one of the writers there, Robert Franklin, is from Texas. It's worth a shot.

Just hang in there. Many of us have been in tears for our own situations, for those of our fathers, brothers, friends, etc. Just know that we're all pulling for you.

Don't give up on some type of shared parenting. Again, call Fathers and Families. They are huge promoters of shared parenting and may be able to help, even if it's just finding an attorney who understands and cares about the needs of fathers and children.

SlimThugga · 2012-02-26T13:51:19+00:00

Never give up.

thetrollking · 2012-02-25T21:21:39+00:00

Sorry to hear about that man.

I am going to be a bit of a dick though.

This is, IMHO, why game/PUA/seduction is so important to the MRM and men in general.

Women want sexy bad boys, who exhibit the dark triad traits, to have children with but they also want the provider types to take care of their children.

Women are attracted to both alpha and betas and hope to find a alpha and then transform him into a beta. The problem is that women are sexually repulsed by betas. There are evolutionary reasons that the seven year itch exists for women, in real life it is usually closer to ten.

It allows women to have children with one, or potentially two types (get paternity tests done bro), of genes and then the children are old enough to take care of themselves to a degree so it is time for her to lose interest and move on. This is how women maximize their reproductive potential. It is even more common when a society advances enough that the base drives(food, water, shelter, etc) are satisfied.

I suggest every man read about Briffaults Law:

http://www.stickmanweekly.com/ReadersSubmissions2009/reader5546.htm

I don't mean to be a dick, but you are sending off beta/provider signals like crazy and that isn't going to ignite passion or desire in any woman, especially not your ex.

If I were you I would read up on game. Most guys use it for picking up girls or getting a LTR but there are also some great writers who talk about marriage game and to be honest it can be used in all sorts of contexts, from relationships to business and really anything that requires social interaction.

Good luck bro.

And remember guys:

MARRIAGE IS RETIREMENT FOR WOMEN!!!

2012-02-27T17:50:41+00:00

Let go of it all. Women don't want men around these days. They want a man when they want a man and the kids when they want the kids. Guys like you don't belong in this society.

Nickmi · 2012-04-09T02:10:54+00:00

This? This is what made you believe in a god again?

DirtyTre · 2012-02-26T02:10:01+00:00

There is no nothing that can help with the pain of loosing your children, and in your heart, you know you have.

But dispare is not what you should do, go to see a good counciler. Divorce has a mortality rate in suicide and from reading your post I really think, for your own good, you should see someone to talk about this stuff and how you really feel.

FYI, I got full custody and fought for 14 years and then my son decided to move with his mom because she doesn't make him do homework, my point is things change over time in unpredictable ways.

Cape Diem, get yourself a hot young girlfriend, happiness is the best revenge.

Title	I'm thinking about just giving in and accepting my role.
Author	DirtyTre
Upvotes	18
Comments	45
Date	February 25, 2012 8:40 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/q5th1/im_thinking_about_just_giving_in_and_accepting_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-thinking-about-just-giving-in-and-accepting-my.1027059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1027059

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