Hypothetical: Say your girl has had a bad day and come to you for comfort.

BrunoOh · 2016-04-21T15:26:41+00:00

By /u/Clint_Redwood : http://archive.is/Ejuqk

EssexMum · 2016-04-21T15:23:51+00:00

Offer solutions if she wants them, if not, let her vent and don't get emotionally involved.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-04-21T17:30:45+00:00

Let her go one for a bit, then then change the frame to YOUR frame, which is fun/sexy times.

Ex. One of my plates is a uni student who lives at home. To her, my house is some palatial resort oasis where there are no parents, no little brother, no responsibilities, just walk around naked, have fun and get banged. Once upon a time she might have been stressed out when she walked in the door, but now I've got her trained, through positive associations, to do that herself on the way over, so that now, she walks in, kisses me hello and gets naked - she's really a nudist at heart so 90% of the time when she's with me, she's nude, except for thigh-high stockings, which she wears Because.Daddy.Likes.

TheStumblingWolf · 2016-04-21T15:19:01+00:00

Asking for a friend, huh?

It's not your responsibility to caretake her emotions. She needs healthy ways of dealing with her own emotions that do not involve you being an emotional tampon for her. That said, if you are seriously considering an LTR, she will want you to be a rock for her. This might mean listening to her, understanding what her issues are, and summarizing them in a reflective statement back to her. This is a form of a comfort test where she wants to know that you support and love her.

There is a difference between validating her emotional BS and listening and leading.

idgaf- · 2016-04-21T15:43:49+00:00

I recommend listening intently.

If you are really advanced, ask questions to really explore the details. See if there is any lesson to be learned from the difficult situation. Like if she's annoyed by some person, ask questions that force her to see things from their perspective. Ask what the other person does, and what their life is like. If she can see how their life is also stressful it might open her to feeling compassion. IMO it is a good test to see if an LTR is emotionally mature.

Don't get emotionally involved or try to mirror her emotion. If she really needs relief, pick her up and throw her on the bed or something.

absolucion · 2016-04-21T21:47:10+00:00

I tend to ask her to give me the important details and give her advice once on the situation. She knows my attention span for that kind of thing is small so she usually complies. When she forgets, I either walk away or focus on something more important which sets her off (that obviously being her problem). At that point she knows the odds of me investing more time on her bad day are zero which helps reinforce the one thing I ask for.

WalkingInEmptyPlaces · 2016-04-21T22:08:55+00:00

"Sorry that happened babe" "Uh huh..." "Mmk." "It'll be alright it's nothing to be worried about."

If she just wants to vent then you don't actually have to say anything meaningful, because she doesn't actually expect you to, she just wants to vent.

Or she's a nut and she wants you to get all wishy-washy pity-party cry-cry with her in which case you need to gtfo

feminazis_stalk_me · 2016-04-22T03:21:48+00:00

When women vent, it's not because they want us to fix their problems, they just want somebody to sympathise with them, agree with them and tell them everything's going to be ok. That's it. If she needs help she will let you know. And if she's having a particularly bad day, you can go the extra mile to cheer her up.

By choosing her for your LTR, you've signed on to become her FAVORITE emotional tampon, so suck it up. You're now her captain, her rock and her protector.

I can't remember who said it here, so I can't give proper credit, also I'm paraphrasing, but the analogy goes like this:

When we were little boys and we fell and scraped our knees, we were told to stop crying, dust it off and get back to playing.

When she would fall and scrape her kne, she ran straight to Daddy and he'd comfort her, give her hugs and kisses and make her feel all better before sending her back to play. She's always had a better support system - that's just how the world works. Now YOU'VE taken on the fatherly role. So kiss her scrapes and make her feel better.

This doesn't mean you have to kiss her ass, nor should you have to patiently listen to every gripe and complaint. Learn to prioritise the things that really bother her from the random noise that comes out of her face-hole. Remember that an LTR is different from a plate or a random chick you're trying to game. In order to have a successful LTR, you have to mix in some beta tendencies and give her what she needs so she's operating at optimal efficiency to give you what you want from her.

All_Ads_Deceive · 2016-04-22T08:47:03+00:00

Don't do LTR unless you like being an emotional tampon for a chick while she fucks many Chads

abdada · 2016-04-21T15:20:13+00:00

I date women who come to me for enjoyment, not as an emotional tampon.

If my LTR (or a plate, or whatever) told me they were down, I'd say "awesome, tonight is going to be squat and deadlift night! I also have to go to Home Depot so we can play spot-the-fattie and laugh together."

That'll cheer them up.

Title	Hypothetical: Say your girl has had a bad day and come to you for comfort.
Author	killm3throwaway
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	April 21, 2016 3:04 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ftdaq/hypothetical_say_your_girl_has_had_a_bad_day_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/hypothetical-say-your-girl-has-had-a-bad-day-and.104308 https://theredarchive.com/post/104308

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