Have any of you had a LTR where you had an agreement to see other women but she only saw you? (not just a plate, like the mother of your kids serious)

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T13:50:33+00:00

unlikely to happen in the west, but i had a deal like this in asia. she came to me and basically said she knew i was going to probably have other girls on the side but she didn't want to know about it, or be involved in any drama, and wanted me to promise i was not going to run off with any of them.

bornredd · 2016-04-26T14:31:13+00:00

My ex and I had this sort of arrangement. It was due to a major SMV difference, impeccable frame, and true DGAF attitude.

She caught me cheating, broke up with me, got back together in a week. The agreement after that was "tell me if you're fucking other girls." She'd get real pissed off, but was always back for more.

It went on for 5 years before I met someone who wasn't a total shut in and had the kind of responsible, giving mindset that I required for a super LTR/Marriage. The break up was ugly, but she's settled in with a nice BB now, even though she still sends me facebook messages every 6 months or so asking to be "friends".

Personally I found her knowing as a source of stress because of her resulting behavior.

[deleted] · 2016-04-26T11:49:36+00:00

I've seen women who are happily married even though they know their husband is unfaithful.

However, its never overt cheating/flirting. Also the husbands in question are giving attention and resources to the wife. I believe that's the most important part. Women can be OK with non exclusivity as long as there isn't resources and/or attention lost to the wife.

I'd suggest not being open about it. If you have a mistress, keep it private and don't get attached. Mistresses have their place. Sex without time or financial commitment.

CypherWolf21 · 2016-04-26T10:49:27+00:00

If you want to work that kind of scenario - it's not gonna happen as an outright agreement unless your SMV is miles higher than hers - aka masterful game or major fame.

A more reasonable scenario would be (assuming your cheating in an LTR with kids) to simply neither confirm nor deny any specific commitment in the relationship while still implying she stay faithful. Then ensuring you keep your side pieces secret (from her, any family and all third parties) and under wraps. She'll probably suspect something but turn a blind eye if you pull it off right.

Whisper · 2016-04-26T21:26:21+00:00

Male jealousy is inherent, female jealousy is cultural (because there is no such thing as maternity fraud).

This means that this sort of thing can work... but usually in either a very male-dominant culture (Islamic, etc), or a very male-dominant relationship. If the woman perceives the side chick(s) as "not a threat", jealousy can very quickly vanish.

You need tight game, though, because other women will explode in fury (they don't want their own men getting ideas), and try to shame her into putting a leash on you. So she has to care way more about what you think than what other women think.

Also, it will not last if you're using high SMV to leverage it on her. She may put up with it for a while to keep you, but eventually she'll break down crying in the parking lot one day, and then over and over again until she's gone. You have to actually get her buy-in.

If you actually do get that buy-in, though, women are perfectly capable of being happy with that.

Male jealousy is the fear that someone else will fuck your girl.

Female jealousy is the fear that the other girl he's fucking will steal him from you.

Wolfwoodd · 2016-04-26T14:53:46+00:00

I'm in a fully open marriage. I like it that way. I feel shitty when I'm out on dates and my wife is at home by herself. She hates being alone. It's much better for everyone when she has somebody else to spend time with while I'm out.

There are other benefits. If my wife wants to do something that I don't want to do (i.e. craft fairs, etc), then she takes a boyfriend. Everybody wins.

Anyway, I just wanted to add a different perspective.

nastynickdr · 2016-04-26T12:34:30+00:00

Yeah, its possible.

What women needs from her man is his resources and commitment. If she is 100% sure that he wont leave her for his mistresses, theres a good chance she will accept it. But his SMV has to be a lot higher than hers. Remember women would rather share a high quality man than being stuck with a loser.

AskYouEverything · 2016-04-26T14:37:48+00:00

one of my very good friends is in jail, and has his baby momma still stay faithful while he spins other plates. He's the most charismatic person I've ever met, though

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