So, I'm going to talk to my mother about my circumcision....

iggybdawg · 2010-11-25T06:54:46+00:00

Just tell her you wished she hadn't done that, and you won't be doing it to your sons. You don't have to make it into a big fight.

kloo2yoo · 2010-11-25T14:27:23+00:00

keep in mind - and express sympathy about the fact - that communication was different in the times you were born. Was the Internet even around then? A lot of people usually had to rely on 15 minute sessions with doctors for their medical information.

etherspirit · 2010-11-25T08:30:19+00:00

I could never talk to my mom about this. The way I see it, it could be a great conversation or a very unsatisfying one. She might be sympathetic, or she might react just like the trolls here who are in denial that circumcision without consent is sexual mutilation. So just a warning to you...I'd start restoring your foreskin, which is much more awesome for feeling better about yourself. Orgasms are tonnes better, you can last so much longer, and it looks just like the one you were born with ;-)

snapsdragon · 2010-11-25T06:36:32+00:00

I don't get the victim mentality in this situation. She didn't do this specifically to harm you, in fact she was likely told it was for the best. I get trying to raise awareness about the effects of circumcision, but blaming her for your sexuality issues seems futile to me, it's not going to help anyone, and could damage your relationship with your mother. Seems like a bad idea to me to confront her with a "you did this thing to me" attitude. Accept yourself for how you are, and if you wish to raise awareness about this subject, you should make your opinions known.

cnbdream · 2010-11-26T03:39:54+00:00

Honestly, I think circumcision of newborn children should be made illegal. It's a form of genital mutilation, and just because it's culturally acceptable doesn't mean it's not abusing a minor's right to their own body the same way a child molester does. It's an irreversible cosmetic surgery, that's sexualized--insofar as, many women find circumcised penises more attractive, so they decide that's what their son should have--, and it's practice is just as much of an absurdity as it would be for parents to exercise clitoral circumcision (which /is/ illegal, mind you) on their newborn baby girl as well as fit her with breast implants.

eulerup · 2010-11-26T04:07:01+00:00

Dude. Don't do it. It can't and won't fix anything. I'm sure she was trying to do what was best for you, and as others have mentioned, she was probably told that circumcision had a lot of benefits.

2010-11-26T04:26:23+00:00

I think it is difficult to blame your mother exclusively in this situation. Circumcision in the US is basically the accepted norm. Most males born here have gotten it. I too wish that it had not been done to me as a baby and if I ever do have a son of my own I am very much opposed to the procedure. Although, I would discuss it with him when he was older and allow him to decide if he wants it done at that time.

I don't blame my parents however because that is just what was done. They didn't know better and probably didn't think of the implications philosophically. They were just doing what every one else was doing because I guess they thought everyone must have a good reason. It doesn't make it right, but I do think it shifts blame.

thetrollking · 2010-11-25T13:21:36+00:00

I would tell her what you just wrote. Talk about it more factually than personally. If she starts talking about it like it's no big deal or some other stupid reason then get personal about it and tell her it pisses you off. I wouldn't look to make this into a confrontation but instead look for an apology. You don't know what she know yet, so find that out first by talking to her about it in a non personal factoid basis.

If she's a bitch then just remember that's she is nothing more than a woman first and mother second or third or x depending on how shitty of a mother and then put her in her place in your life and move on(I don't mean physcial harm feminist trolls, I mean put her in the past or don't talk to her or move out of state or whatever)...

Also, I don't know much about it but there are some ways of regrowing foreskin. Some involve stretching but there is a new company called foregen(there was a r/MR post about two months back on it) and they are doing trials using a type of skin cell that has been shown to regrow lost tissue. There was one case of a man losing his finger it and he used this powder, it was from a intercellular extract(the stuff that holds cells together) and he put it on his finger(his brother works in a lab for the military and sent him a sample) and after several weeks he regrew his entire finger tip, including the finger nail and his fingerprint. The reason being that the intercellular matrix holds information of cell structuring and this genetic map is what allows skin cells and blood cells and what not to constantly regrow but the intercellular matrix isn't as involved with scarification after injuries, which is why we can't regrow limbs like some reptiles. Or so I understand. But Foregen is looking into developing this biotech to be used on foreskin recovery, according to their website they are in the test stages now.

2010-11-25T08:20:42+00:00

I'm not sure what you want to get from this conversation. Talk to her about it, sure, but what's done is done. She (presumably) didn't do it to hurt you deliberately, so what you're really raging against is ignorance and ill-conceived notions of what's best. It was a long time ago. She might feel like it was a mistake, now. Unless she's pressuring you to circumcise your future children, what do you want to achieve?

Raise awareness, by all means. Opinions matter. But this is personal for you, and I don't know how you're going to say what you seem to want to say without causing a lot of hurt on both sides.

Cassio · 2010-11-25T08:57:51+00:00

Where was your father at the time?

2010-11-25T06:43:52+00:00

Are you expecting your mother to kidnap a fat girl, keep her in a pit in her basement while continually urging her to use copious amounts of lotion on her skin, skin said fat girl, and then fashion the fat girl's skin into a bright shiny new foreskin for you?

She made the decision that she thought was right at the time for the time.

What do you expect to gain from this exchange? What's done is done and if it really upsets you that much write about it in your diary or talk to your therapist about it. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from bitching your mother out about this. Your mother didn't have you circumcised with malice.

firelord1973 · 2010-11-25T06:25:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	So, I'm going to talk to my mother about my circumcision....
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	32
Date	November 25, 2010 5:52 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ebi42/so_im_going_to_talk_to_my_mother_about_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-im-going-to-talk-to-my-mother-about-my.1045698 https://theredarchive.com/post/1045698

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