Question for mensrights

falsehood · 2010-07-16T18:32:51+00:00

A few things to clarify:

What is "violence?" You probably mean physical contact, but it is any? Or just enough to leave a mark? Or possibly, enough to force someone to move their hand or body?
What's "full strength?" Are you saying it's enough to knock someone down? Enough to maim or serious hurt? I think we'd agree that the proper response to someone hitting you is not to stick them with a knife once, right?

But to answer your question: I believe any violence should be proportionate to the violence that you may face in the near future, as best a reasonable person might judge the situation.

However, the best predictor for what is coming is what has already happened. If the person can't hurt you that much, then you shouldn't hurt them that much. Your relationship is only important in that it affects what you think they'll do.

InfinitelyThirsting · 2010-07-16T18:37:40+00:00

You should never use more force than is required to stop the violence. Hold back if you can. That's the moral route.

But no universal law, no. It depends on provocation levels (for either gender--a girl can provoke a man to slap her just as much as the reverse), first off--did one partner get slapped because they were screaming insults about the other and the other's family, because they were caught cheating, or did someone just mess up the laundry?

If the other person is legit trying to hurt you, no matter how small they are--multiple blows, or using a tool/weapon--then you are well within your rights to deliver a hard blow. If they just, say, pushed you, that doesn't deserve much retaliation. And a slap, or a punch to the arm, even though they do hurt, does not deserve a punch to the face. Especially if you're stronger, you should never deliver a worse blow (you can use your strength, but you're not justified in hitting a more sensitive area, I mean) than you received.

The most important thing, though, is to never keep hitting them. Hit them once, and if they don't stop, hit them again but better yet just try to subdue them or pin them down. But even if they've hit you multiple times, hit once and then see if they stop, don't hit them back for every time they hit you, that's not legal.

ignatiusloyola · 2010-07-16T21:34:26+00:00

It really depends... The American government is known for its "Shock and Awe" tactics, and basically goes on the view that you should absolutely overwhelm your foe using whatever means necessary (nukes are withheld for other reasons).

Where as the stereotype of Buddhists is that they are pacifists and feel that "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

The response to your question really depends on where people's beliefs lie on that spectrum.

theozoph · 2010-07-17T09:57:44+00:00

Depends. I'm 6'1'', and I have a female friend that I like making fun of who's 4'11''. She often hits me when I tease her, but I can hardly feel the punches, so... :-)

But if she and I got in a serious confrontation, I couldn't hit her anyway : even barring legal complications, me hitting her full force would send her to the hospital, while she would hardly manage to bruise me.

In such cases, restraining the person and breaking up the fight is probably the best answer. But were the height/weight ratio a little more balanced, I would consider hitting back, if only to create an opening for a submission hold.

On the whole, avoid hitting and learn some ju-jitsu locks and holds. You still win and you're less likely to go to prison for bodily harm, whatever the sex of your opponent.

2010-07-16T21:24:01+00:00

That is, should people who start violence expect the person not to retaliate with their full strength?

That would be foolish of them, anyone that initiates violence is gambling with their safety and their freedom.

For example, let's say that you're in a bar and someone who looks less strong than you hits you in the face. Are you expected to hit him back with little strength because he looks or is weaker than you?

Of course not, physical appearance have nothing to do with someones ability to inflict damage, if they already demonstrated that they are aggressive and violent you should do everything in your power to end the fight.

Now think about the same example but imagine it's a woman. Now imagine it's your SO.

I don't have an answer that guarantees an end to the confrontation without you risking further injury or incarceration.

for the record I would opt not to hit the person and later on sue him or her for battery.

you would probably lose, and possibly face a bogus counter suit

YesImSardonic · 2010-07-16T20:03:49+00:00

I've been told that I should hold back, but I never listen. If somebody starts violence against me or somebody I care about, I go all-out right away. I've found it's the quickest way to end a fight.

gprime · 2010-07-20T02:56:08+00:00

Law and theory differ. In theory, if somebody purposely assaults you, be it a slap in the face or a shanking with a makeshift knife, then in the heat of the moment, any defensive violence should be excused, even if seemingly disproportionate. After all, a proportional response fails to deter. And I believe that should apply across gender lines. The law disagrees with me, and so my actual approach (since my size would otherwise leave me open to trouble) would be to do what is necessary to secure my immediate safety, and then fine civil and criminal complaints thereafter.

Il128 · 2010-07-16T23:33:34+00:00

Violence is wrong.

Title	Question for mensrights
Author	Dangger
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	July 16, 2010 6:25 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/cqdzi/question_for_mensrights/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/question-for-mensrights.1048585 https://theredarchive.com/post/1048585

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