All Victims can be Perpetrators

serpentineeyelash · 2020-02-19T04:33:06+00:00

This is an article that talks out of both sides of its mouth. It deserves credit for being better than the responses of #MeToo, ACLU, UN etc who are still unequivocally supporting Amber Heard, but ultimately it's still about shielding Amber Heard and #MeToo from criticism.

The article does contain some good parts about how abuse can be female-on-male and how abuse can be mutual. But there is a glaring hypocrisy in the way mutually abusive relationships are acknowledged. If the balance of evidence points toward the man being the aggressor, any suggestion of mutual abuse is shouted down as “victim-blaming”. When the balance of evidence is widely acknowledged to have tipped toward the woman being the aggressor, only then do we suddenly hear all this concern that the abuse might be mutual and we should withhold judgement.

Of course, there is some nonzero possibility that the Depp-Heard relationship was mutually abusive, but in my opinion the evidence points toward Heard being THE abuser and Depp being THE victim. Depp admitting to defending himself, and once throwing something back at the person throwing things at him, does not change that fact.

The therapy audio tape makes it very clear that the abuse was psychological as well as physical, and Heard was the perpetrator of all the psychological abuse in that audio. She rants at the top of her lungs about how Depp is supposedly the bad guy for running away when she throws pots and pans at him, while he calmly tries to explain to her that it's reasonable for him to run away when she's engaging in such violence. I cannot understand how anyone can listen to that tape and think the abuse is mutual. Nobody would be describing it as mutual abuse if the genders were reversed.

Below I'll respond to some more specific points made in the article.

While there is no video evidence of either Heard or Depp’s claims, in 2016, TMZ leaked a video of Depp smashing bottles and screaming obscenities at Heard.

The video did not show Depp engaging in any violence, nor is it clear whether he smashed any bottles. He certainly wasn't throwing things as Heard claimed the video showed. I know that because Heard wasn't ducking out of the way, she was instead adjusting the camera angle. The context of the video is unclear, but it seems like Depp was upset about something and Heard was trying to provoke him into appearing aggressive on camera.

To onlookers, the whole thing might seem like a whirlwind of conflicting accusations; people seem compelled to take sides that are informed by their own perspectives and biases, discrediting one narrative completely in favor of the other. But it’s critical to resist that societal instinct to minimize, demonize, or disregard either of these accounts... By accepting that perpetrators of abuse are often victims as well, we can better understand and address the dynamics of interpersonal violence.

As a general principle I don't disagree with this... but ultimately we need to make a decision based on evidence, and in this specific case I think the therapy audiotape clearly demonstrates that Heard was THE abuser. The court of public opinion is far from ideal, but it was feminists who put this case into the court of public opinion so they have no right to complain when the court of public opinion delivers a verdict they don't like. Did Bitch Media also object in 2016 when people were disregarding Depp's account?

Hitting, kicking, punching, or emotionally and verbally abusing men is generally considered a lesser offense if it’s retaliation for something generally considered scumbag behavior, such as cheating. There’s a huge difference between defending yourself and instigating violence, but when it comes to male survivors we often can’t recognize the line between them.

Unfortunately it seems Bitch Media cannot recognize the line between them! All Depp admitted to was defending himself, and once throwing something back at the person throwing things at him. That's not instigating violence. Any other violence by Depp against Heard remains unproven to my knowledge.

I will admit I am still researching the case, so I have not yet read through Heard's entire 300-page document, a dauntingly long read by any standard. I will write up my full opinion on all aspects of the case when I have finished researching it. But if Heard had really presented such devastating evidence, it would be all over the media by now.

Unfortunately, shortly after #JusticeForJohnnyDepp began trending, it was quickly infiltrated by people using it to brand Heard a “sociopath” and a liar, expressing their conviction that the audio was definitive proof that Depp had not abused her.

People had previously called Depp a sociopath and liar. Was that unfortunate too?

Others attempted to use the Depp-Heard example to proclaim that the #MeToo movement is ineffective and morally bankrupt, full of liars and opportunists.

It's difficult to prove how many liars and opportunists there are in the #MeToo movement, but Heard is certainly a prime example of one. Regardless of the exact number, the deeper problem with #MeToo is its logic: treating men accused by women as guilty until proven innocent. If the movement isn't already full of liars and opportunists, at some point it will be because it incentivizes that behaviour.

As Roslyn Talusan wrote in a recent article for Wear Your Voice, “#JusticeForJohnnyDepp was a misinformation campaign designed to provoke intense reactions and guilt people into supporting him at the expense of Heard.”

It's hard to take this article seriously when it praises that dumpster fire of an article from Wear Your Voice. On what basis are they calling #JusticeForJohnnyDepp a "misinformation campaign"? Didn't the hashtags #ImWithAmber and #MeToo do exactly the same thing, provoking intense reactions and guilting people into supporting Amber Heard and other female accusers? So how come this article is fine with #MeToo but not #JusticeForJohnnyDepp?

The audio does reveal Depp to likely be a victim of domestic violence, but that in no way negates Heard’s claim that her ex-husband abused her. The evidence is overwhelming, and ignoring this is willful ignorance.

Really? What is this overwhelming evidence? A "bruise", which plenty of witnesses and surveillance videos say wasn't there before Heard filed the restraining order? (Funny how Bitch Media doesn't mention that.) A video of Depp slamming cupboards? The fact that Depp trashed a hotel room in 1994, leaving his then-wife unharmed? Give me a break. If Heard has overwhelming evidence I'm yet to see it. Meanwhile, there's an audiotape of Heard admitting to throwing pots and pans at Depp while he tries to explain to her why it's wrong.

I've run out of space so I'll post a Part 2 in reply to my own comment.

Egalitarianwhistle · 2020-02-18T19:40:57+00:00

This is total bullshit. The only evidence that Depp abused Heard comes from Heard.

1.) She went to the police with fake bruises. 2.) She has been arrested for domestic abuse before Depp 3.) All of Depp's ex's claim he never lifted a finger.

This is why #metoo and #believewomen has been so harmful to our post-truth society. Knowing as we do that women make up about half of abusers, how can we possibly #believe them without evidence without also enabling abuse?

This case exposes the double standard. When Amber accused Depp she was believed immediately and without evidence. Depp was dropped from several roles.

Depp had to present 87 videos and multiple witnesses, including Heard's stylist about the fake bruises she wore to the police.

"Who's going to believe that you were abused by a woman?" Amber taunted him. And she was right as attested by this article that paints Depp as an abuser.

I can't believe there are still feminist weasels trying to smokescreen this. I call bullshit. As Amber herself pointed out,

There is a double standard in our society against men. Women are believed without evidence. Men are not believed even with extensive evidence.

As someone who has seen firsthand how evidence is ignored in false rape accusations, I am blind with rage that someone still thinks Amber is an "imperfect victim."

I heard the exact same thing after I pointed out that my friend's accuser had told three provable malicious lies with her accusation.

I am so sick of this shit.

No evidence needed against men. No amount of evidence is enough against women.

Look at the patterns. Amber Heard has a criminal record of DV against former lovers. There are also many testimonies of her abuse towards service industry people. Not to mention the fact that she mocks Depp about her abuse.

Depp has a history of being gentle and kind. All of his exes have spoken up in his defense.

This may be the worst aspect of a false accusation. You can live your whole as the best person you can be, you can be kind and sweet and gentle... the moment you are accused, none of that matters.

I have come to realize that both feminism and the #metoo movement are nothing but a huge bias in favor of women and against men. It was never about equality.

I used to believe that if I was a good person and treated others well and told the truth and formed strong bonds in my community that my reputation would be respected. I used to think that my reputation would protect me. I have since learned that none of that matters. One lie and it's gone forever.

Shame on you, weasel!

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2020-02-19T12:50:07+00:00

They're really scrambling to save the narrative. They went silent initially hoping it would go away. When it didn't and it became obvious they'd have to say something they went with this story of mutual abuse. She's not an abuser, she's a victim who responded to violence with violence.

Pathetic.

Oh and this:

However, in the same recording, Heard says that Depp cut off his own finger during an argument because he was “drunk and high on ecstasy.”

Is gaslighting.

She's just a total piece of shit.

She's so toxic and unrepentantly terrible that.... she'll probably have a long and successful career and never face any real consequences for her actions. She'll leave a trail of failed relationships and scarred people in her wake and never once be held accountable.

Isn't female privilege and male disposablilty great?

/Although she's apparently dating a woman now (going for political lesbian points, Johnny abused her so badly she can't even look at a man now!) so maybe if she cuts this woman's finger off people won't be so forgiving.

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