Every girl knows that guys prefer to asked out; yet so few will do it cause they can't get that equality goes both ways

PrincessofPatriarchy · 2019-11-04T22:05:54+00:00

I think it's less that they "don't understand" such an extremely simple concept like "equality" and more to do with the reality that girls can get away without approaching first and will still find a partner for the most part. Just look at the demographics of dating websites. Girls are usually inundated with too many messages to reply to, guys struggle to get matches.

As for all girls knowing this, I believed until a decent portion of high school that asking a guy out was a terrible idea. Dating advice I read told me that doing so would make me appear too "masculine", like I was trying to "wear the pants" in the relationship, that I would "intimidate men" or worse look like I was "too easy" and a "slut". It was constantly repeated to me that "boys like a chase" and that if I asked a guy out it would send him running for the hills. I've also seen on an anecdotal basis many guys admit that when a girl asks them off they think it's a turn off.

When a guy first told me that guys like being approached by women first I was completely taken aback and at the time, believed he was an outlier who was giving me bad advice. And at one point when a guy ghosted me after I went to Homecoming with him, and I asked him for a follow up date I was advised to "let him wear the pants" and to stop "being the man" in the relationship by another guy (admittedly a Mormon so perhaps his standards are skewed").

So while I agree women should ask guys out more, it was only a few years ago that I was in high school and a girl approaching a guy first was heavily advised against by dating advice columns, media and general peer groups at least where I was. And it wasn't just generally advised against like it wouldn't work out it was more like "Do you want the reputation of being a slut who pursues men? Do you want to be known as a man eater?"

mtcapri · 2019-11-04T23:16:25+00:00

I'm removing this because of the language you used in your title—generalizations like "every girl," followed by an assertion of a negative quality counts as demonizing women. You can bring this topic up for discussion without such language.

DevilishRogue · 2019-11-04T23:11:24+00:00

Guys like to be asked out by girls they are attracted to but the very act of asking a guy out makes a girls less attractive because of the reversal of the dynamic. Girls are generally more likely to elicit a positive response saying "If you asked me out I'd say 'yes!'" than they are saying "Would you like to go out with me?" because of the inherent nature of gender roles. As such I think this is an unfair criticism of women.

Every girl knows that guys prefer to asked out; yet so few will do it cause they can't get that equality goes both ways

Crosspost "How do guys feel about girls making the first move?" from /r/AskReddit:

Comments