"Why you should stop trying to be “manly”

ThePigmanAgain · 2019-08-12T01:11:31+00:00

Surprisingly progressive view, from what i've seen of AVFM.

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2019-08-13T11:02:24+00:00

Well first off. Gotta point out some slight historical inaccuracy

high heeled shoes "started" as a cavalry/horse riding thing.

The heel keeps the feet securely in the stirrups. And eventually. It became sort of a sign of nobility. Because owning horses/being in a military position that demanded boots like that was usually a sign of wealth.

Then it later became a matter of the nobility wearing extravagant shit to be extravagant.

In fact. a lot of the things pointed out in this article as examples of what was previously considered manly have some pretty organic developments. and backgrounds as to why they ended up the way they did.

Some like the greeks and romans IIRC are mostly cultural.

But others like the pink and blue colours come from factors like resources (dyes that worked well in mass production) and other trends (the navy uses blue, and it was popular to dress up young boys in those little navy uniforms)

All in all this is really just the history buff in me. But there is something to glean from this, and that's that masculinity in the context of this article is generally more situational than it is a sort of "trend"

Moving on. This line kind of bugged me.

The sooner you accept that — that who you are right now (who you really are) is the manliest and most attractive version of yourself––the sooner that you’re going to find your confidence…

Now, I'm not sure if it's intended. But the way this is written seems to imply that self improvement is not necessary for confidence.

I call bullshit. We should aim to evolve. We should aim to be better than our past selves. and in doing so. That is how we gain confidence.

When I was younger, I was a socially awkward shut in who was afraid to speak to my peers, (mind you this was mostly due to years of bullying and ostracism)

But no less I took it upon myself to learn how to be a more socially fluent person. I scoured online materials. I forced myself to talk even if what I said fell flat and/or made me look bad. I constantly forced myself out of my comfort zone.

And now?

Now I've had friends confide that they look up to me as a mentor for things like personal confidence and wit.

I've worked semi successfully as a salesperson (I have moral qualms about trying to sell people things they don't need.)

I've talked my way into having dinner with a family who I had only met several minutes prior while working as a salesperson.

I've even been asked to officiate a wedding.

I've intimidated other men without trying.

I've been the "pleasant spectacle" of several parties.

And that's all because I didn't accept myself as I was.

I wanted something about me to change. So I put in tons of work and changed it.

And I know that it isn't that easy for everybody. And I know that there are both physical and mental ailments that make it more difficult.

But confidence is a skill. It's like a muscle (or maybe in this analogy something closer to the electric organs of an electric eel)

and every time you flex that muscle. you radiate confidence. You put a little spin on a word. You talk with a more calm and assertive voice. You stand up straight. You take up space. You stay relaxed. And if you mess up. You act like you meant to do it all along.

Over time. You get so good at it that you don't have to focus any more.

you just do.

But otherwise. I like the message.

Be what you want to be. And do it in a way that is true to yourself.

As I said in another post.

the masculine role is traditionally much wider than we give it credit.

it encompasses things like Charisma, Kindness, leadership, Caring for those around you. And more importantly. offering value.

The manliest heroes of ancient cultures were those who could not only fight. But those who could sing and make merry, And those who could make everybody around them feel valuable.

Tmomp · 2019-08-12T14:54:47+00:00

You can be however you want.

Title	"Why you should stop trying to be “manly”
Author	ThePigmanAgain
Upvotes	6
Comments	29
Date	August 12, 2019 1:10 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/cp5am0/why_you_should_stop_trying_to_be_manly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/why-you-should-stop-trying-to-be-manly.1064574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064574

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