How is not obvious to most people that a huge reason men are seen as more "rational" is because any anxiety we express is shamed right out of us?

YesAmAThrowaway · 2021-11-02T13:28:05+00:00

I'd say it's not the one and only 100% defining aspect, but what I would say is that it certainly plays into it.

animesainthilare · 2021-11-02T11:56:04+00:00

Men are expected to solve their own problems/issues and if we don’t, we are failures.

Too_Old_1981 · 2021-11-02T13:54:30+00:00

On the positive side, men that have developed those kind of responses to tense situations have been prized in society since pre history.

Society needs people that aren't ruled by their emotions in order to have a safe ,orderly civilization. Things fall apart when our anxieties overcome us.

SpanishM · 2021-11-02T15:58:15+00:00

> any anxiety we express is shamed right out of us?

Agree, but that's because men are expected to be the protectors. Even those who say "we don't need men" also say "men need to do this and that [in order to protect us]".

And I do not think that this is (mainly) a socially constructed thing. Otherwise these people wouldn't be contradicting themselves all the time.

That means that we are never going to get 100% rid of what they call "gender roles", because that's -to some extent- a biological/evolutive thing.

Then, what do we do?

First of all, don't think "it sucks to be a man", because if you see it this way, it sucks to be a woman too. I mean everything has a good and a not-so-good side.

And second, this:

> I've developed some pretty kick ass responses to tense situations and I do pretty well for myself in emergencies, all things considered.

That's pretty much what life is. You never stop learning and developing new skills.

Usually a good sense of humor helps to deal with difficult situations. This works much better IRL than on the Internet because non-verbal language is fundamental. I'm not a stand-up comedian, but many times that's my kind of behavior/thought. Not because I want to make people laugh (that's a side effect... sometimes :) but because it makes my life easier.

Of course I'm not always in a good mood, but I try looking at life as the tragicomedy it is ;)

RockmanXX · 2021-11-03T00:02:23+00:00

We're given no choice, there's a gun to our heads 24/7, if we slip up and expose our shortcomings, we'll be socially humiliated&ostracized. The only way we can navigate Society successfully is by being Stoic.

I get the sense that these types of emotions aren't what people mean when they say men should share their feelings more

What people say by "Men should share their feelings more" is that they want us to express "Stoic Sadness" and "Stoic Frustration" etc. People DO NOT want our raw emotions, they want us to express those raw emotions in a fancy&pleasant way that appeals to them.

mushysandwich121 · 2021-11-02T07:49:09+00:00

That is the life thrust upon us. Yet Men in general are the oppressors... according to some.

BloomingBrains · 2021-11-03T06:27:28+00:00

In my life I've seen time and time again that if I'm anxious it's absolutely not tolerated. I have to be calm and collected otherwise I'm useless to society.

So then the corollary to this should logically be that women are emotional, and therefore useless to society. Which is a great example of how its impossible to force men into a protector/provider role without also denigrating women by forcing them into a role. But in today's age this is admittedly a bigger problem for men, because its one-sided: they ignore logical extension that I just pointed out.

I don't know that its popular to frame men as stoic, though. At least, not any more popular. I also hear things like we're all "angry" or childish incels that spew hate at women for getting rejected, etc., but then also "Oh, why are the men I'm dating so emotionless and only care about sex". The answer of course is, they are talking about two different guys and labelling things as black and white.

The other thing I see is that it's almost like women are projected to be the composed, elegant, and rational ones these days, except conveniently minus the responsibilities that entails when applied to men. But you're onto something for sure: its as if, despite what I just said, they ALSO still think we should be the provider/protectors. A contradiction, yes, but no one said it actually makes sense.

Or rather, maybe its picking and choosing whether men are supposed to be rational or immature manchildren based on the situation, and how much status they have.

Title	How is not obvious to most people that a huge reason men are seen as more "rational" is because any anxiety we express is shamed right out of us?
Author	tiredandconfused111
Upvotes	79
Comments	7
Date	November 2, 2021 7:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/qkz1ax/how_is_not_obvious_to_most_people_that_a_huge/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/how-is-not-obvious-to-most-people-that-a-huge.1080455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1080455

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