We've known each other for over a year and been together for around 7 months. Now we're on the verge of moving in together.

Here's the problem:

I find myself trying to micromanage all of it. Today he even said that he felt like I just wouldn't back off and let him deal with things. That I was attempting to control the situation and make him do things my way.

(Unfortunately, he isn't wrong.)

Background:

He is moving into my apartment for logistical reasons, but I fully plan to add him to my lease. And I've made it clear to him that it will be "ours" not "mine". Eventually we will find a bigger home that is 100% ours, but for now this is the situation.

We also plan to get married and desire a husband-lead home. BUT I don't know when I should start following him. Now? Once we live together? After marriage?

Right now he's trying to manage his current living situation, and his lack of timelines frustrates me. He is making progress and plans, but it isn't what I would do. And I think I have to admit that at this point I have no clue how to just sit back and let him lead. We've practiced it with sex for several months, and we have no issues there. But this.. OMG!

How do you learn how to relax when you've never been able to depend on anyone but yourself??

Any advice is appreciated. 💜