Going out alone to a bar or club; how weird is it?

TomFoo · 2016-07-14T00:34:58+00:00

Not weird at all. In fact, it's actually pretty cool and fun, when you get the hang of it and you're not an alcoholic.

I suggest you first get the lay of the land, which bars/clubs are good on which nights and what times. Then get to a routine. Make notes of the names of bartenders, managers, bouncers, etc. You will probably meet some cool dudebros to hang out with, get their numbers, that's important too. No such thing as a loner alpha.

Work on personal branding. When you introduce yourself, say something like "I'm Mike the Marine." It has to be short and memorable. Don't bother saying "I'm Mike the Marine Corps officer" or the like. Being an officer is badass and all, but a lot of us civies don't understand the difference b/t enlisted and officers, especially women, unless your city has a huge military presence.

Good hunting. Semper Fi.

Solitary_Wolf · 2016-07-14T02:57:11+00:00

Back in the day I did some of my best work on solo missions.

I'd say I had a better rate of success even.

Usually I'd play the "I was bored and all my friends are busy tonight" role and troll the dive bars. It was mostly true, I generally didn't plan out solo missions.

I suppose "I'm new in town and just wanted to get out" would work too.

I would just get a seat at the bar, chill and strike up conversations with people around me - some of those people would be women.

I'd order myself a shot of Jaeger and invariably someone would pipe up Hey we doing shots? and the party would start. The angle I worked was sociable not-desperate guy. Friendly and fun to the people around me male and female.

When you are charming, but not directly flirty girls get curious. What's this guy about? It's when they move in closer out of curiosity do you switch it up a little and be a bit more suggestive, but only when the sphere of conversation shrinks down to you and the girl or you and her and her friends. Never totally cross the line though. You always want to be a little coy and mysterious. Sly grins are appropriate here.

Usually in the corner dive bars the people there are regulars. So when you are a decent looking dude by himself there having a good time, you are the fresh meat. Bar sluts don't want to fuck the same dudes that always hang out there. When something new pops up on their radar they perk up.

Fun part is when you get invited to the next bar. Don't offer to drive until they see the nice car you have. Then you say Anyone want to ride with me? The girl that's interested will volunteer.

Then you turn on cool car guy game. She's in your domain now. Have some cool tunes on the ready. At first have music up a bit - then turn down for conversation. Don't get too lost in the part. This is where the girl realizes you have real game and the tingles intensify. You don't want to overplay arrogance, it's definitely there - but you keep it on a friendly tip.

By the time you reach the next place, you should have shit locked down where it's on cruise control from there on out. As the night draws to a close, that's when you move in for the kiss. The kiss seals the deal generally. Invite her back to your place (or go to hers whatever). Be confident and act with mastery. Don't be too aggressive or too desperate. She should be hoping the night ends with you two together.

Some of my best pick ups happened when I went out without the plan to pick up girls - just to relax with a few drinks and have a good time. That moment where you're in some strange girl's bed looking up at her ceiling fan in the dark thinking to yourself - lol how did I end up here? is pretty fun.

Being young and single is fun.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-07-14T03:53:46+00:00

I prefer it, actually. And don't tell me some fire-pissing devil dog is scared to go out alone. You ARE what goes 'bump' in the night.

If anyone asks why you're out alone, say you're new in town and came out to meet people. That's a legitimate non-loser reason.

TheRedStoic · 2016-07-14T00:48:21+00:00

Marine? Pick up bouncing too. Once you're used to dealing with all types, going out solo becomes even easier. Do it for a summer and get around multiple venues, figure out what works best for you atmospherically. You'll be great man.

And thank you for your service.

[deleted] · 2016-07-14T01:10:35+00:00

I prefer going out alone you to pick up aren't anchored by your friends and you are launched into the deep end requiring you to face interaction cold or be a failure. Embrace it. I got addicted to it for a couple of years. Feel like those years raised me

Mustaka · 2016-07-14T05:33:26+00:00

Ex army officer here. I used to go on solo 'pull or die' missions. The basic idea is when in a new city or place you dont book a hotel or place to stay. You have to pull a girl or sleep in the street. You need a good bs story to tell for when you introduce yourself. My go to story was I was a member of the ISRT. That is short for Internation Satellite Recovery Team. My job was to recover satellites that fell from the sky before the russians got to it. Total unbelievable crap but nearly always worked. But it was the 'reason' I was alone and a great convesation starter.

Nearly always is the key. This one time I failed miserably. It was raining out so got my head down in a doorway that provided some cover. Woke up in the morning to people going about their day. My hat had fallen off at some point. Grabbed it to get moving and there was enough change in it for a fry up.

So no not wierd to go out alone. Quite fun if you do it right.

FrameWalker · 2016-07-14T01:44:57+00:00

I pull more consistently out solo. You are free like a bird you don't have to fight your wing's hamsters or steer him, adapt on the fly and have a blast.

traversecity · 2016-07-14T01:12:30+00:00

Fair number of active and retired military where I live. Best chats I've had sitting at the bar alone are military people.

throwawaycomedian95 · 2016-07-14T05:17:08+00:00

Only weird if your SMV is low

RPThrowaway2016 · 2016-07-14T12:06:36+00:00

Also military here, I go out to the bar solo fairly often. I love it, the only downside for me is the town I live in is so small the bars are all garbage. But i'm not going for hook ups, just to go chat with old timers, and have a round or two.

i2amahandmodel · 2016-07-14T12:10:19+00:00

Yeah, go to a bar. I don't think a club is a good idea but any place you can sit and talk is great. The first friend you have in a bar is always the bartender. Make small talk. Find out what the activities are there and join in. Learn some jokes to tell. Talk about sports or the local area. Invite someone to play a game of pool with you.

If you aren't feeling it at that bar then finish your drink and move on to the next. It might just be a slow night at that one. Find out what kinds of reputations the bars have. I.e. is it a good place to pick up women or is it all old dudes.

BusterVadge · 2016-07-14T12:25:16+00:00

Everyone else is so absorbed in what they are doing, in their own group that they'll never notice you're alone. If it's a classy place, and you're dressed right, having a few drinks alone can work out better than going out with a group of friends. Think "successful man in town on business", and "James Bond Type". The latter is fake, but the mysterious loner is a real enough fantasy in the minds of most women.

Luckyluke23 · 2016-07-14T05:16:51+00:00

as weird ad YOU make it.

if you want to go to the club then GO what is really stoping you?

M1ster_MeeSeeks · 2016-07-14T21:45:31+00:00

I'm a huge fan of it. You have absolutely nothing to take care of but yourself (no friends getting too drunk, overbearing women with you, waiting while others go to the bathroom) and you have full control over your interactions with other people. If you screw up its on you and you alone.

One thing I'm not seeing here is site selection. I would pay particular mind toward finding places that make it less apparent that you're by yourself. I went out solo last weekend to a bar that had multiple settings in it - a pool table, karaoke, a bar, an outdoors patio area, and a separate building for dancing. Moving between each section every so often and randomly starting conversation is how to do it. A closed, single room that seems "clicky" is going to be harder to crack.

My best experiences with meeting new people is my self-deprecating humor. Show them you don't take yourself too seriously. The advice of being "mike the marine" is good, especially if you're kidding when you say it. Best of luck - I'm in a similar boat in my city.

oldredder · 2016-07-15T11:56:54+00:00

it's not weird and I get more flirting from women when I do this than when I go out with the boys

Haemmerli22 · Sat Jul 16 3:10:33 2016 UTC

Alright reddit...Drinking rum, about to go hit up the bars. Lets see how tonight goes

inspiron3000 · 2016-07-14T17:14:29+00:00

You are on a mission.
You need partners.

Recruit wing men on-the-go.

Title	Going out alone to a bar or club; how weird is it?
Author	Haemmerli22
Upvotes	12
Comments	19
Date	July 14, 2016 12:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4sqelc/going_out_alone_to_a_bar_or_club_how_weird_is_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/going-out-alone-to-a-bar-or-club-how-weird-is-it.108314 https://theredarchive.com/post/108314

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