What are my options if STBXW is refusing rational cooperation ?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-11-10T13:18:46+00:00

> STBXW is refusing to send financial info (discovery ) to me

Motion to Compel Discovery.

> She is currently getting CS from me 700/month and she has good savings.

She has no incentive to divorce. She's getting your money already.

> The next step for us is mandatory economic mediation

Set a trial date for 6-8 weeks after the mediation date, before you attend mediation. Without trial date as a backstop, the mother has no incentive to be reasonable with you. Only the fear, uncertainty and doubt of a stranger of robes making life-changing decisions about her will motivate her to hammer out an agreement.

throwTHISaway0885 · 2021-11-13T17:40:09+00:00

Based on my experience:

In NJ family court -

Filing - Day 0
Judge Conference One - 3rd month
Mediation One - 4th month
Discovery documents - 5th and 6th month
Mediation Two - max 8th month
Judge Conference Two - max 9th month
If everything fails - Pre-trial Conference and actual Trial - between 10th and 11th month

You are in the 10th month. And still at Discovery stage. Seems your case is 6 months more than normal. Pls review with your Attorney as to what's delaying your case and what is required to speed this up. Especially when not much is there in your case to settle except financials.

Regarding Mediation:

Most Mediators get reputation and plus point if they get a "settlement"
Most Attorneys make money plus reputation if they get a "settlement" rather than go all the way to a trial
Most judges focus on "settlement"
So the entire system focused on "Mediation" and "Settlement".

So you should go into your mediation even if you haven't got some documents. Mediation costs $500 per hour. It normally doesn't take more than 1 hr. Hear the opposing party out. Sort out unresolved issues. If mediation did not resolve, the case anyways will progress to the next stage - meeting with Judge.

At this next stage, you will get a conference with the judge (Judge Conference Two mentioned above). In this conference the Judge won't "decide" anything. But will act as one more "mediation" point. You or your Attorney can mention to Judge about delay in documents. Judges don't take lightly delays in documentation. They will castigate the Attorney first. And compel the pending documents with a deadline. So inform the Judge certainly. If your Judge conference is not scheduled yet, your Attorney can file a motion to compel.

Regarding your X trying to put loans as your liability - you should not worry unless you have "signed" these loans or these loans are in your name, or joint name. The opposing party can demand all they want, but no one can enforce a debt that is not in your name.

One point you mentioned - you are asking your STBX for documents. Do not talk separately or independently with your STBX. Everything should be done thru the Attorney / System. Your Attorney should have officially sent a "notice to produce" kind of letter to your STBX. If you are communicating independently with your X, that is not recorded in the court system.

Title	What are my options if STBXW is refusing rational cooperation ?
Author	Ok_Reporter7884
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	November 10, 2021 11:11 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qqs2is/what_are_my_options_if_stbxw_is_refusing_rational/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-are-my-options-if-stbxw-is-refusing-rational.1084879 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084879

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