So, things haven’t been so great at home for quite some time now.

A little history of my concerns, and reasons for wanting to divorce.

I am the sole breadwinner. I was injured badly in an auto collision back in 2009. I am on SSA, and I work as much as the Social Security System will allow me to.

I carry us (wife, 3 kids) alone. My wife pops pills all day long and sleeps. It has been this way for too many years. I’ve tried. I’ve tried. And I’ve tried. But, the kids are being neglected. My eldest son is on the HS Basketball Team. She has attended ONE of his games. Only because I twisted her arm to go. After I explained that he was in tears after he confided in me that he feels that she doesn’t care about him.

The other night. She sent me a barrage of text about how I’m a lousy lover, how she had posted pics to “babiegirls.com” looking for someone who can afford her “mommy makeover” and other cosmetic surgery.

Needless to say. It sent me into a type of nervous breakdown (panic attack) and being stuck at work. I just had to sit with it.

She belittled me as a man in every way possible. She constantly makes me insecure about my body, my sex drive (I’m 41 yrs old and have had some medical issues which cause ED as a side effect)

We have been arguing lately. But I would NEVER Body Shame her, or make her feel less of a woman. I felt so betrayed and sick to my guts.

She threatened to find a fuck buddy, and I’m at a point that I just don’t even care if she does. I just want a better and happier existence for my kids and myself.

We’ve been together for 15 years. 5 dating, 10 married.

I don’t even recognize her anymore.

She neglects her hygiene. She neglects our home. If I’m not home, the kids do whatever they want to. I come home late. My job is a night job.

No dinner for me, and the kids ate who knows what. I often cook dinner when I get home late (1-2am) for the next day. On top of that, my kids just seem to be sleeping wherever they fell.

It’s depressing. I love my kids and they deserve better. I deserve better. And she needs help. Or she can seek happiness with some POS with money to fulfill her shallow dreams.

I lost my father just a few months ago. I haven’t even had a chance to grieve. It’s always about her.

I’ve been through a lot this year (loss of job, lost my best friend and father, constant pressure to provide beyond my ability)

She does NO housework. She pushes the responsibility onto my eldest (16yrs) to cook and care for my littles (4 and 6 yrs old) and that bothers me.

I am out of patience. And I don’t feel any attraction for her. Not after the threats to cheat.

I need some advice. I need to ask of you all…. Am I wrong? And what steps should I take from here?

I need some help here.

When she did that to me at work, I had a sort of severe panic attack and humiliated me.

I don’t want to fix this anymore. My main concern is my children.

Any help or advice would help.

Thanks in advance.

This is the beginning of my divorce…. What direction do I go from here?