What is the best way to desensitize yourself to women's crocodile tears? What is the best way to detect them vs. sincere anguish?

deskgrunt88 · 2016-07-28T17:36:39+00:00

I value honesty and integrity.

Women do not.

deskgrunt88 · 2016-07-28T16:02:03+00:00

When women start to cry, to me it usually just means they don't want to / aren't able to have a conversation any more. I know that their emotions can overwhelm them, but I'm still mildly annoyed. I emphasize though, I'll get them a tissue.

I assume you're talking about a relationship kind of talk, not when something seriously upsetting happened. I'll talk about relationships all day, but I won't have any of this drama.

awalt_cupcake · 2016-07-28T15:56:17+00:00

I don't know about you but I always found women crying to be funny because of how ugly they look

also they have zero problems compared to a male's life and cry over the childish things

they also cry because they know it manipulates people

2016-07-28T18:11:08+00:00

Don't put up with that shit test. When a woman starts crying you don't coddle her, plain and simple. Women who aren't manipulative assholes never play that card. If a conversation digresses to tears, just shut that shit off immediately. Ignore, tell her she's being manipulative, stick your bottom lip out and say "oh poor baby", whatever but don't touch her, don't say sorry, don't stop if you're making a point and the your woman-child needs to hear it. Of course you can always walk away and leave it at that.

Apparently you've been trained to be beta in that regard. You've recognized the problem, now when it happens you'll be looking for it. My guess is you need to NEXT this manipulative person that is doing this. That's how you resolve it.

DarkisKnight · 2016-07-28T22:01:37+00:00

A woman crying is my kryptonite. However, I've learned when to react and how to react, for the most part.

If the crying is strictly manipulative like a child throwing a tantrum to get what they want, withdraw affection. If you reward such behavior it will set an untenable precedent for you. Withdraw affection. Leave if you have to.

Sometimes it's not about you. Don't try to solve their problem for them. That's not what they want. Say as little as possible. Comfort physically until it subsides. Be their oak.

Sometimes it's a comfort test. In this case showing a little Beta is ok. You don't lose frame by showing some sensitivity if ultimately you're still calling the shots. Don't apologize if you did nothing wrong. If you feel you did then apologize but do it once and then move on. You made a mistake. Own it, but don't dwell on it.

disposablefleshy · 2016-07-29T01:35:06+00:00

Just remember that even the genuine tears are a performance to manipulate you.

0kool74 · 2016-07-29T13:48:00+00:00

If the woman cries, I will lose frame

Wat do?

Don't lose frame. Problem solved!

2016-07-28T23:26:33+00:00

Is she crying because of you?

No? It's not your problem. Quit being Captain Save-a-hoe, you are done here.

Yes? Did you do something you would consider wrong if she wasn't crying?

No? It's her problem, not yours. You are done here.

Once you can do this more comfortably, and can realize how silly her crying is. Double down. Tease her about it. She will get angry, hold frame. Be playful, soon she won't remember why she was upset in the first place.

Yes? In your head say 'I apologize for _____, it was wrong of me', does it sound silly?

Yes? It doesn't deserve an apology. She's making a big deal out of it and it's bad behavior. Don't encourage bad behavior. You are done here.

No? Apologize.

Did she accept?

No? You are done here. If she's genuinely upset you can't do anything about it. Spending that extra time on apologizing shows that you don't value her emotions more than your time and are probably insecure about losing her. Even if she isn't shit testing you she will lose respect for you.

Remember she's replaceable, a woman will tolerate the worst transgressions from a quality man with an abundance mentality. Use the time until she accepts on finding or spinning plates. If she never accepts, she is petty, and would ruin your life in the long run. Move on.

Yes? Comfort her. She's earned your apology.

play_time_is_over · 2016-07-29T00:57:01+00:00

Just understand its a manipulative tactic. My friend just says "youre so annoying when you cry all the time!". Really its just about toughening up and realising she is a big girl now.

It is hard though.

2016-07-29T01:55:58+00:00

Laugh, laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. My LTR is emotional some days. I smile and laugh when she starts crying now. I know the game and I'm not going to let it play me.

jtzabor · 2016-07-29T08:24:32+00:00

Look at them logically?

Title	What is the best way to desensitize yourself to women's crocodile tears? What is the best way to detect them vs. sincere anguish?
Author	deskgrunt88
Upvotes	11
Comments	26
Date	July 28, 2016 3:49 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4v1dni/what_is_the_best_way_to_desensitize_yourself_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-is-the-best-way-to-desensitize-yourself-to.108996 https://theredarchive.com/post/108996

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