How old are you and how old is your partner? How familiar are you with RPW? I’m 30 and he’s 35 I’m becoming more familiar with RPW over the last month. We have a pretty traditional dynamic I cook clean dress in feminine ways and mostly do what he wants (I still sometimes struggle with not being stubborn and with anxiety which I’m in therapy for)

What is your relationship status? Engaged

What is your problem? My partner and I had an argument yesterday over seeing an old friend. Partner told me we had been invited for drinks and I could finally meet his friends. When I asked about them he said it was a woman but wouldn’t say how he met her then said they met on tinder years ago, had slept together back then and had just reconnected as she’s now single. I said I wasn’t comfortable with the situation and reiterated that we had both agreed to cut our old partners and in his case old FWB. He said I was being retarded thinking people couldn’t be friends after sleeping together. I stuck to I’m not comfortable putting myself in the situation he said I needed to come with him it had been arranged I needed to drink (very rarely drink as were ttc and I don’t like alcohol). I walked away from him a few times during the argument as I felt unheard. I said I felt it was disrespectful to the relationship and me to do something like messaging an old FWB and expecting me to be okay with it. I also bought up other issues in the relationship (dead bedroom) and how I don’t feel like he wants to do anything with me anymore. He said I was talking like a bitch to get the fuck out of his house, to fuck off, shut up ect. I asked him if the relationship was over and he told me he’d rather be single than deal with my shit and to get out. I started packing my things then left the house because I couldn’t deal with how things had escalated. When I came back he was relaxed. He said he wanted me to come tonight I said I wasn’t comfortable but he could go if he wanted. He said he didn’t want to go without me and just cancelled like it was no big deal.

What did you do to contribute ? I didn’t leave him alone when he walked away I also didn’t shut up when he told me too. I also brought up my own insecurities (dead bedroom and not wanting to go on dates with me).

How long has this been an issue? The swearing at me and telling me ro get out has been happening the last two to three months. I know he’s struggling with depression atm I’m trying to support him as best I can since he won’t go see a professional.

What have you done to resolve the problem? I’ve explained how I feel about both of us having people from our romantic pasts in our lives when we’re supposed to be building a future together. I said I cut anyone I’d had a relationship with out when we first started dating as I felt it was disrespectful and I knew he was the only man I needed. I explained I don’t like name calling or being sweared at and he apologised for that but said I needed to leave him alone when he tells me to stop. (I fully agree and will try to do that)

If in a married or commuted relationship How long have you been together - a year (we did have a break for two months due to what seemed like severe delusions - he told me he wanted to do something similar to poly now says it was just fantasy talk) Is your relationship long distance? No Is your bedroom active ? No if I initiate it happens once or twice a month. He has diagnosed low T but doesn’t want to go back to the dr.

I’m trying to be patient and understanding to look up to him as the leader of our relationship but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to manage my own insecurities that are triggered