LTR often accuses me of loving my ex. I don't even think/care for ex.

the_seducer · 2016-08-03T13:30:10+00:00

she's projecting her insecurities onto your ex. Was your ex prettier than her? more fit? more successful? more clever? she's probably looking at your ex as a manifestation of something she lacks, and assuming it's something you'll go looking for.

Be stern. "Whatsherface will never affect our relationship, I don't miss her or think about her at all. But your constant jealousy just might."

vandaalen · 2016-08-03T14:34:11+00:00

How should I respond to this.

Amused Mastery.

"Dang you got me. Meeting was actually to finish planning the wedding ceremony."

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-08-03T14:58:44+00:00

"I love my ex even more now that she's never around."

blasted_biscuits · 2016-08-03T17:42:37+00:00

This is not a behavior that improves with time. In fact it will get worse if you let it. She will move on from your ex and find some replacement like a coworker or a neighbor, etc. Best thing to do is absolutely ignore this behavior and when she presses you about it simply state with indifference "I cannot tolerate insecure behavior." Part of the reason she is acting this way is she feels she has the power in the relationship and can act however she wants without repercussion. She needs to be reminded that you have the power to walk away. Don't rationalize her behavior. Practice some dread game and be ready to leave as that may be your only course of action.

RatBastardJones · 2016-08-03T17:37:42+00:00

Does she have reasons to think that, or did this come out of left field? Maybe she is in love with HER ex.

When a woman starts accusing of you of something completely off the wall or of something that makes no sense, you better consider the possibility that she's really talking about herself.

MrBowlfish · 2016-08-03T16:35:29+00:00

Dump her. I've been through this wringer and it gets worse, never better. First it's your ex and then she's accusing you of wanting to fuck every girl you see. It really sucks dude. Abandon ship. You won't do it because you like her a lot and think it'll go away. It won't.

nastynickdr · 2016-08-03T16:58:08+00:00

"No, the real problem is that I love my other GF as well"

TheRedStoic · 2016-08-03T18:01:57+00:00

She's afraid you'll leave.

Your ex is simply a convenient focal point for her projections. That's all.

Try not to miss comfort tests as often, make her fell just secure enough, but not guaranteed. It'll probably take a while. Good luck.

Personally I don't tolerate excessive drama, there's always someone younger nearby.

MattyAnon · 2016-08-03T18:10:34+00:00

now she accuses me that I hide her that I love my ex bla bla

Solipsism.

It's clear to me she is insecure, but this is tiring.

You can't win. Reassure her and she'll think you're weak and not believe her. But laugh at her and she'll just get more insecure. You can't really fix the insecure ones - her problem is your problem for as long as you can be bothered with it.

Title	LTR often accuses me of loving my ex. I don't even think/care for ex.
Author	the_seducer
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	August 3, 2016 1:14 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4vyf2a/ltr_often_accuses_me_of_loving_my_ex_i_dont_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-often-accuses-me-of-loving-my-ex-i-dont-even.109236 https://theredarchive.com/post/109236

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