I truly understand why some men prefer being at work to home. I'm not one of those men but it's starting to sound a lot better. I leave for work at 5 am and get home at 5 pm. I spend the majority of my day thinking about how I can't wait to get home and see my family. My step children scream at the top of their lungs my name everyday I walk through that door. It's honestly the only thing holding it together. She on the other hand can't handle life and has this I'm miserable look on her face that she's over life. I'm honestly disappointed every single day I come home. I step in and take care of them until it's bed essentially working 5 am to 8 pm everyday before it's me time, but even then I want to spend time with her but she'd rather be spend some alone time so I basically just sit there.

The worst part is she hasn't worked in two years. I pay for everything, destroy my body doing contractor work everyday, but yet get treated like I don't do a thing cause I forgot to do the dishes or take the trash out. It's ridiculous this double standard that I'm supposed to support us but it's too hard on you to take care of your kids and do the things around this house. I'm at the point where I'm just going to go to my office everyday and get home and she can just see how much I do when she's doing it solo. I told her I'm done trying when I'm the only one doing it.

The funny part is I give a 110% for my family and show her love like she has never experienced before. She told me the other night that I am a damn near perfect man and I deserve to be happy and that she love's me but isn't in love with me. This all stems from the fact that we got an abortion earlier this year and when she was pregnant again I told her if she got an abortion I would leave her. She didn't get the abortion and now hates her life. Blaming me for making her make this choice. I told her why the hell didn't you go get one. Now you've fucked up both of our lives when I could have already been over you by now. She tells me things will be different after the baby comes but if I was a betting man I'd put a 1000 on no. Thank god we aren't married. I feel for my son though whose mother cares more about the fact that she can't drink than that she is having him. I don't want to put him in a situation like that but also don't want to become my father who stayed for us which was a bad choice growing up with miserable parents.

Sorry for the rant I just don't really have a place to vent and my buddies are all jackasses who would basically just say fuck her man and not bring any value to this conversation.