Check my post history for the recent breakup post if you’d like.

I was feeling so depressed most of the day today. Heavy, sad, empty, wanting to cry but I couldn’t, most of ya’ll know what I mean. But I’ve found something else that really helped. Re-reading the handbook, Queens! I kid you not, I am feeling SO much better after just chillin’ on the couch under a comfy blanket, watching a favorite streamer, and going back through the handbook!

The part that really helped me the most today was from “The difference between LVM and HVM” A lot of my sadness has come from my thoughts along the lines of “He really did want to make me happy though. He wanted to keep a cleaner home, and do what was required to meet my standard. He just couldn’t do it without some help. I should have told him more clearly what to do and help him learn. What if I never find another man again who’s even willing to do these things? I blew my one and only chance.”

Then I hit this part of the above post:

A LVM will help around the house. He'll need you to tell him exactly what to do and when to do it, though, because he doesn't really care. When you do tell him, he'll get annoyed. He will probably forget, and when you point it out to him, he'll get pissed that you're "nagging". He'll do a bad job and when you ask him to do it better, he'll have a tantrum and proclaim that he's never doing it again. You'll do 80% of the housework but he'll claim you split it "pretty evenly". He will make fun of your standards and belittle you for being "so uptight". If you suggest hiring a cleaning service, he'll freak out at the cost and insinuate that you're lazy.

I realized I had told him the issues. He would come back with “well my ex’s were MeAn tO mE and told me I nEveR diD anYtHiNg RighT, so I just decided I wasn’t going to do it anymore.”

So ya, he was literally TELLING ME he was LVM and I missed it somehow lol. 🤡

Anyways, thanks Queens. I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad I’m taking the time to feel sad, and then reflect on those feelings; so I’ll be leveled up some day when I’m ready to date again.