For background, I’ve been with my current boyfriend for over a year and so far have only seen green flags. I am not claiming he is a HVM yet, as I am still evaluating whether or not I want to marry him. However, something I suddenly realized is how appreciative and grateful he is of me: He constantly shows that he cares by both his words and actions (e.g., buying me medicine and cooking my favorite food). He always wants to provide for me and carefully considers my feelings. And he never expects anything from me in return.

This made me think more — if a man is truly HVM then he will not feel entitled to your body, cooking, or anything else. Instead, he should be proactively showing you he cares about you and is appreciative. If he truly values you, then you are irreplaceable to him and it will be obvious.

This might seem like common sense since this stems from basic human decency, but when I was a pickmeisha, I thought I was expected to care for my boyfriend…You are a partner, NOT a mother!!