Should I just give up and go my own way?

throwitawaygbye · 2022-02-20T19:23:54+00:00

Dude, just keep dating until you find someone real. This reads as someone who's disillusioned with the whole concept of 'love' rather than someone who can't ever find love.

Be better at vetting partners and don't get too attached

MilkyWay01 · 2022-02-20T20:36:29+00:00

Hey OP I am a 23M and I feel like I’ve had a very similar experience to you. Over the past 5 years I’ve gotten with many women and have also had a few GFs. However, whenever someone wanted to seriously date me I felt like I was out of their league and whenever I seriously wanted to date someone else they weren’t interested enough in me. I want to get married and have a family some day and I felt like I’d be forced to settle for someone if I wanted to accomplish this.

However, at the start of 2022 I met someone who I honestly feel a genuine connection with for the first time since I was 19. I used to believe people in OLD were just looking for the hottest/highest status person they could possibly get with, but now I’m not so sure I believe this. Whether this new relationship of mine works out or not is besides the point, but my faith that people are looking for the “right” person opposed to the “best” person has been restored a little more. I think you should just be patient, keep going on more dates, and eventually you’ll find the right person because it sounds like you are very capable of being with someone you deserve.

Inareskai · 2022-02-20T19:46:02+00:00

What do you mean by:

Because honestly, healthy monogamous relationships just seems impossible for someone like me.

What does 'someone like [you]' mean? What about you means 'normal relationships' won't work out?

XihuanNi-6784 · 2022-02-20T23:46:14+00:00

People get bored of people they aren't friends/partners with. If you're cute and attract a lot of ladies, and other people you know do too, you're probably seeing a lot of shallow relationships based on superficial attractions. Sex and looks are good but as you say, they don't last. Real relationships are built on shared values, interests, and humour. Those are much harder to find than sex appeal so it's no wonder most of the relationships you see end. Monogamy is overrated but it's not a myth, it can and does happen to many people. Just go with the flow and focus on compatibility over "attraction".

KayRay1994 · 2022-02-21T22:51:55+00:00

going that way alone isn’t a bad idea - but don’t do it under the guise of “no woman likes me so i’ll move on” - besides, contributing to your community and building on that legacy might give you a new light and pinpoint what you were missing

Jamonde · 2022-02-21T01:52:39+00:00

What I've noticed is that most people tend to get bored by each other during relationships. The attraction, the spark and the love that is sooo stimulating, gets annoying and boring for most of the people. And in the end loads of both guys and ladies tend to just search for a new and exciting option.

How did you come to this conclusion? Have you witnessed this in your own life, in media, or elsewhere? What communities are you involved in and what media are you consuming that has influenced you to think this way?

After seeing tons of people getting broken up, cheated on or opening-up their relationships, just makes me lose faith in any possible monogamy.

As far as I am aware, the VAST majority of relationships today, across the world, end up not working out. And that's okay! That tends to be how things go. At least where I'm from, many people date a little bit before being married. And sometimes they may marry more than once.

And I don't think that Im cut for polygamy.

That's fine! (assuming you mean polyamory)

Monogamy just seems like all around horrible option for anyone during these times.

You should really try talking to anyone in your life who has been in/has had very satisfying long-term monogamous relationships. A good question you could ask them is something like this: "Are you happy that even though you and such and such ended up breaking up, you had a relationship with them at the end of the day?" And then listen to what they say.

It sounds like you already have an idea what they'll say - the way you're talking, it sounds like you think someone who was previously in a relationship that didn't end up working out in the end will say that they regret having that relationship in the first place. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

And if that's how you think, well, I can tell you from experience that most folks generally don't regret past relationships they've had - ie, the ones that didn't work out - unless they were generally terrible and actually lowered their quality of life. And that happens, don't get me wrong, but it's not the norm.

But back to what I was saying - start paying more attention to the couples in your life, pay attention specifically to the good parts. The parts where they compliment one another, especially when the other isn't around. Ask them what they like about the other. Ask them what they like about being in a relationship. Heck if you're comfortable, tell them about some of your concerns and fears.

And to echo another commenter - it sounds like you have some very warped and specific idea of what love and relationships entail. Again, watch realistic media featuring relatively normal relationships. Spend time around people in relationships. Talk to people you know in relationships, and be open to learning from them.

Geblaka · 2022-02-21T15:20:46+00:00

Polygamy, monogamy, my ass...

Just realize that there is so much more to life than just sex.

Title	Should I just give up and go my own way?
Author	notnicenotcute
Upvotes	21
Comments	27
Date	February 20, 2022 6:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/sx7qzz/should_i_just_give_up_and_go_my_own_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/should-i-just-give-up-and-go-my-own-way.1103852 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103852

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