Cliff notes version of miscommunication.

1: Miscommunication will happen in relationships.

2: Miscommunication is what you intend to come across and what is perceived your actions intend to come across by one or more people are is two entirely different things, or vice versa.

3: The number one culprit of miscommunication is that we tend to perceive our perceptions of others similar past actions are the same as the person who miscommunicated with us in the moment.

4: The best way to prevent miscommunication is to actively listen to who you are communicating with.

5: If they voice a verbal concern, show a body language concern or react in a negative light abd that was not your intention thrn it is time to stop and say.

6: I was doing x because I intended y. It appears you think I intended a. Why is it that you feel that way.

See this example last night with me and my life partner.

Her: See when you say things like you are a good mother or I am happy I have a mother like you for my kids it’s like weird cause I don’t know how to take that. Like I don’t need praise. I never had it in my life. And I don’t need it. Same with physical praise too. It’s just really awkward to me. I just feel it’s my job abd I do my job. But that’s how I was raised. What I prefer instead of those things is what you do for me or the kids. The more you put in the more I feel wanted praised and loved.

Me: Hmm. I never looked at it that way. Thanks for letting me know. It’s funny as I am actually the opposite. I like being praised because it motivates me to continue helping out or bonding with you and the kids. Where I grew up it was always criticism even when there was praise it was thank you but. So when I get genuine praise and gratitude verbally or physically it means a lot. It makes me feel like my place is home where as before I’d feel like I didn’t have a home.

So I think in the future I’m going to simply keep putting in more effort around the house and if you see it and show gratitude I appreciate it and if not I won’t take it personally as I understand where you are coming from? How’s that sound.

Her: I’d like that sbd I’ll try and show more gratitude as o am very grateful for what you do. The kids too.