Hello! I've searched everywhere, is there a way to kill my sexdrive?

I'm fully incapable of forming relationships. My brain is fucked up and my horny sexdrive pounds thoughts into my head constantly.

If there was a way for me to get no side effect, no strings attached Chemical castration, would do it in a heartbeat.

I've been on ssri's and once in awhile would'nt actually have a sexual thought once.

I was so productive! When you lack a sex drive it's so strange, I can see how lesbian's say they can go days without once thinking of a man.

I'm convinced nothing will change on my course. I'm ugly, lack ambition, not funny, no friends, etc.

At the very least castration would remove a lot of these thoughts and could make me more productive. My doctor would never go with it, so what other options do I have.