How Should I Tell My Partner I Want A Traditional Role?

Anonymous_fiend · 2022-06-09T22:39:48+00:00

You need to inspire that instinct in him. If he doesn’t see the benefits of a traditional style relationship you can’t make him want to support you (without resentment). You can express that the day you spent embracing a more trad and feminine lifestyle brought you joy and let him come up with the solution. But trying to manipulate the situation so this relationship becomes traditional is not healthy. Also why do you want to do a complete 180 after going through so much school? Why not work and take a couple years off when the kids are young? It sounds like you’re burning yourself out. You may need to reduce your work hours so you have self care time/work life balance. It’s hard to be in your feminine energy overworking yourself.

You usually don’t tell a partner you want to be a homemaker this far into a relationship. That’s something that should be discussed right away to gauge compatibility. Trying to make a modern man traditional is like trying to turn a hoe into a housewife. Sure it can be done but it’s just better to date housewife/provider husband types in the first place. Also he’s only 23. The more traditional style relationships where the woman is a sahm the man is usually a couple years older. That way he is already established and can afford the bills on one income. With this man you may need to help pitch in until he is more established. It’s hard to afford a family on one income now.

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KombuchaEnema · 2022-06-09T22:42:07+00:00

I think it would be a good idea to ask him what he wants. It sounds like he isn’t thinking much about the future. Sit him down and ask him where he’d like to be in ten years. Does he want kids? Does he want you both to work? So on and so forth.

Let him ponder it. It doesn’t sound like you know what he actually wants or what’s going on in his head. You know what you want, but you don’t seem to know him and his preferences very well.

My husband was also very unambitious when we got together. He simply wasn’t thinking about the future. When I told him that we’d have to put our kids in daycare if we had any kids, I could see the gears start turning in his head. He didn’t want kids in daycare. Which meant I would need to stay home. Which meant he would have to get serious about his career. And he did.

So talk to him. Relationships shouldn’t be a negotiation. These are conversations you need to be comfortable bringing up.

SubliminalSlave · 2022-06-09T22:45:23+00:00

The most important thing that I have learned in making a similar transition, albeit a decade later than you, is to start by showing rather than telling. I found that the more I drop into my feminine as a gift, the more my man rises into the masculine role. The mindset shift is about giving him love, softness, care, inspiration, devotion, and respect as a feminine being. (Dressing the part is fun and helps me get in that energy, but it’s not actually what drives HIM… that part’s really for me 🙃💃). Don’t worry about what he gives back initially from a tangible perspective. Just give. Yearn for his masculinity. Show him your emotions. Drop into your feminine energy (love) and physically manifest it through your body as a gift to him (and you too… the stress relief I have from softening is so unbelievable). And with that in mind, let go of what you will get back. If he is a masculine energy driven being, he will be inspired to give you safety, security, and comfort. Let it unfold naturally for a while. Kiss him. Touch him. Play with him. Give him variety that is inspired by your body and emotions. Serve him. Show him your vulnerability. Let him see that you need him. Share with him about how much you love exploring your femininity, without asking for anything from him. Let him respond to your softness for a while. I recommend that you start doing research into “polarity”. There are some incredible teachers on instagram as a starting point. Take some courses. Do the work on your end and see what happens

espressolover18 · 2022-06-09T23:34:00+00:00

Others here have given you good advice, however I think it's also good to keep in mind that he may not be willing to accept this new lifestyle and change. You met him when you were in the more "masculine" mindset, and in that mindset you attracted men that are into that. Now, you've decided to change your mind, but you can't expect him to change as well. There is a chance that he is no longer compatible with your goals. However, you should by all means try.

riceweight · 2022-06-09T22:50:46+00:00

Hey, also 22F professional gal here. I just finished school as well. I second the other commenter, it does sound like you're burnt out! Instead of diving full time into feminine/homemaker/baker/sexy lady, I think you just need to make some time in your schedule to rest and recharge.

I love cooking and making the home feel soft and welcoming along with an assortment of other feminine activities, but I also love working and contributing to projects and writing code and getting that bread. The only commitment in my life is hybrid full time work, so I have plenty of time to groom, go for runs, cook, etc. in the evening and weekends.

Full time school and full time work is A LOT. When do you finish school? I imagine you'll be able to find a much better balance once work is your only external obligation.

WritingTop4055 · 2022-06-10T02:16:45+00:00

Id start by asking him what he wants.

My husand and I moved out when we were 18f & 20m and by 20 I was a homemaker. Now at 26 Im a SAHM which is a ton of work but the homemaker years were amazing.

Luckily my husand has always been a hard worker but ive always done the leg work to help him better paying jobs (I find the jobs and submit the resume/applications). So maybe helping him earn more you could drop down to part time and prove how much you're worth at home?

Our husbands stand tall but sometimes they need a little help without them knowing.

pearlsandstilettos · 2022-06-10T01:28:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Left_Potential_7526 · 2022-06-17T08:07:26+00:00

If he wanted that you'd know by now sis.

Title	How Should I Tell My Partner I Want A Traditional Role?
Author	No-Self-82
Upvotes	30
Comments	14
Date	June 9, 2022 10:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/v8sgsl/how_should_i_tell_my_partner_i_want_a_traditional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-should-i-tell-my-partner-i-want-a-traditional.1116605 https://theredarchive.com/post/1116605

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