"Love the sinner, hate the sin" say evangelical Christians about gay and lesbian people. This way, they claim not to hate them while setting the criteria for "good" gay and lesbian people to exclude all but a vanishingly small minority who deny themselves what they enjoy and probably suffer from internalized homophobia. Requiring people to deny themselves normal human pleasure for approval is not love.

Likewise, feminists often claim not to hate men while setting criteria for "good" men that exclude the vast majority of men.

There's also the similar differentiated treatment of the same behavior in the disfavored group. Evangelical Christians have no problem with heterosexual people who make public displays of their sexuality and have sex with the people they like (at least as long as they're married, although they seem to show some flexibility on this point), but do have a problem with gay and lesbian people who do the same. Likewise, clearly misandrist feminists who claim not to be such have created unnecessarily gendered terms like "mansplaining," "manspreading," "manterrupting," etc., as if condescendingly explaining things, taking up more space than needed on public transportation, or interrupting were morally more blameworthy when done by men than women; think also of how men are often considered rapists when both the man and the woman were equally drunk during sex. They also regularly excuse behavior in women that they would consider sexual harassment if engaged in by men. It's also not hard to see feminists praising women CEOs and politicians for acting like the archetypal patriarchs they claim to despise (i.e., just as evangelicals have no problem with sexuality when exhibited by heterosexuals, the feminists I'm talking about have no problem with traditional masculinity when exhibited by women).

In short, evangelical Christians and certain feminists both try to escape accountability for their bigotry by claiming it's not about being a certain type of person but rather behavior, while also holding their disfavored group to strict standards of behavior that this group is almost certain not to meet and exempting their favored group from moral culpability for the very same behaviors. Racists also do this with the races they don't like [edit: think also of how neonazis treat only the minority criminal element among non-white groups as representative of their whole racial groups (while not counting white criminals against their entire race), which is similar to how very many feminists are treating only the minority of pro-life men as representative of their sex (but pro-life women are not deemed representative of their sex)]. Yet somehow racists and evangelical Christians are rightly condemned on the left for their bigoted and duplicitous double standards, while feminists get a pass for the same.