Hey y’all. Struggling a bit with this concept. TL;DR at the bottom.

Basically: If I can get to the date and a woman can see my personality, coupled with my looks, it’s usually case closed. But the problem I’m having is getting the opportunity in the first place.

Cold approaches may lead to a phone number but from the number it rarely transitions to a date. Whether I am confident and concise (logistics only, meet me here at this time etc) or if I try and build rapport over text first, it still almost never leads to physical face time. I just become another random dude in her inbox/DMs. Also, my text game is weak. I’m way better in person.

Tinder has been the same, they all seem into it until the time comes to actually meet up. Then they ghost. Like “oh I got my fix of attention but I’m not actually gonna meet this guy” or they’d rather meet the better option and they have soooo many options. Hundreds literally.

I compare it to a job application. If I can get to the interview I always land the job. But the problem is getting the interview when my application is buried under 1000 other apps.

I’d say I’m relatively attractive, like a 7-8 depending who you ask. Swimmers body, tan, fit (visible abs), good style and hygiene. My height is a bit of a detriment (I’m a weak 5’10) so I don’t fit the arbitrary 6’ requirement.

The girls that I’m attracted to (7-9s) don’t seem into me enough to meet. They’re busy shooting up. And I just struggle to be attracted to the 4-6s. It’s so frustrating having to play along with ‘the game’ when I’m really not that into them. These 5s will say shit like “oh if you’re lucky ;)” or “take me out first” etc and in my head I’m just thinking “ugh Im not even that into you and you expect me to put in all this work.”

My SMV puts me in an awkward place. I feel like a football team that can either choose to win the trophy season after season in division 2 or I can be bottom of the table in division 1. My lower SMV friends get more pussy than me but it’s with women I would never sleep with.

The hottest women that I’ve been with have all been met through friends, and I feel like that social credibility of knowing them through someone helped me out, because it gave me an in/opportunity that I wouldn’t have otherwise had (again I liken it to a job app where you can significantly improve your chances just by having a friend who works there mention your name).

But how can I carry this success over to women that aren’t in my friend circle/random women I see or approach or match online?

Just wanna get y’all’s thoughts cause maybe my thought process is flawed.

TL;DR: I’m confident that I can close when given the opportunity but I am struggling to get those opportunities in the first place. It’s like I’m hot enough for them to entertain the idea but not hot enough that I’ll become their first option. My charisma and personality would carry me the rest of the way but I need a chance to show that. How do I get these opportunities?