Social awkwardness keeps me in a bitter RP mindset.

geekosopher · 2022-08-06T03:55:36+00:00

Being ashamed of yourself is not healthy or normal.

You need a therapist, big time.

If you can't afford one, message them asking about pro bono services available in your area. Therapists know what's available around them and will help you find something.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with losing your virginity at 22 or later. There is nothing wrong with being skinny or shy or awkward.

It's fine to want to change or improve, but being ashamed of yourself isn't going to help, it's only going to hurt you. Beating yourself up won't motivate you. It's just causes more problems.

It sounds like your self loathing because of internalized abuse or something. IDK, but a decent therapist should be able to help you figure out why and how to stop.

If the therapy isn't an option, look up self-compassion. Learning to treat yourself as a friend can help.

Good luck, man.

SweelFor- · 2022-08-06T11:20:07+00:00

I always say the same thing: if you spent X amount of time listening to RP, and now you want to forget it and move on from it, then you need to spend an equal amount of time listening to the opposite of RP which is psychology. I recommend you listen to Psychology in Seattle podcast for example.

If you listened to 20, 50, 200 episodes you would hold very different beliefs and ideas about the world and dating and relationships.

My next comment would be that you probably need therapy if possible.

My last optional comment is that if one of your major problems is being skinny, that is a very easy problem to solve if you want to just not be skinny anymore. It takes like 4-6 months for very skinny guys to change their physique and be satisfied with their new appearance.

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-08-06T12:52:40+00:00

Problem isn't that you have flaws, problem is that you care about what other people will think of them and that scares you. It seems that's why you're ashamed.

Go to a professional, ask them to help you get rid of that fear first. The shame will go away with it.

Don't "accept" your flaws. Don't change them or remove them. Just acknowledge and understand them first, their roots. Not just by saying it, but by taking steps to manage them.

You may even find that some of those so-called flaws weren't as big as you thought or weren't flaws to begin with. Of course, this last statement just an assumption, considering I don't know you.

Try to stop caring what others think of you. It might seem like a harder than said thing to do, but, if you think of it like a habit, eventually you just start living it.

zapadz · 2022-08-06T16:05:03+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WySj30emeU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdMEtpXoMkY

shakespearesmistake · 2022-08-06T17:18:45+00:00

Something I think everyone on this thread could benefit from is actually therapy. Mostly DBT, where you actually learn habits that improve your life, instead of just talking at someone for an hour. Dialectical Behavior Therapy has helped me tremendously in my daily life. You can do individual or group sessions, but I think group sessions are more effective because it feels like you're in a team and you aren't alone. If you can't afford therapy, I would do some sleuthing on DBT and if it interests you, find exercises that might help. Obviously this isn't a substitute for professional therapy but it's better than nothing!

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-08-07T00:50:47+00:00

Ok

I am going to tell you the truth here

I used to be very socially awkward.

Then I became very much the opposite.

Yet my behaviour rarely changed.

The perception of my behaviour from myself and others and it’s intentions did.

Before I used to perceive social awkwardness as bad a flaw etc.

Today I own my social awkwardness and I see it as uniqueness and a deep part of my true authentic un social conditioned self.

When people say I’m socially awkward (now very rare) I tell them thanks for the compliment. I know I am very unique and that’s one of the things I love about myself.

When they push further trying to get me to see how it’s a bad thing I respond with something like this.

If something is socially awkward to you, it is because that’s how your perceive that behaviour to be in your reality based on your past experiences with similar behaviour and or what you been taught to believe from that behaviour via various forms of conditioning.

To me it’s a normal part of my authenticity and I’ll never change that for the world. Especially not for someone I just met.

I actually wish and can’t wait for you to reveal your socially awkwardness. I think it would be a great bonding moment.

But I understand if that never happens.

And I am sorry if my behaviour was felt by you as I’ll intended or caused you some feelings of awkward or weirdness within you.

That was not my intent and I take accountability for making you feel that way and hope you don’t in the future.

But I am who I am and I’ll never change unless I feel I truly need to and right now I don’t.

Besides it’s not like you have to be here.

You are choosing to be here and you can simply choose differently.

Though I would be a little disappointed as you seem like a genuine person I’d like to know more of.

Yes this sounds very intellectual and written but the ideas I am portraying is what I convey.

Truth is everyone is socially awkward (unique) deep down.

You just have to move passed the familial social educational and societal conditioning to find it.

Now because of my shift my perceived behaviour people live that I am awkward. As they themselves can be anyway they want without judgement.

Title	Social awkwardness keeps me in a bitter RP mindset.
Author	AppropriateCoconut92
Upvotes	10
Comments	7
Date	August 6, 2022 1:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/whbqmy/social_awkwardness_keeps_me_in_a_bitter_rp_mindset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/social-awkwardness-keeps-me-in-a-bitter-rp-mindset.1126495 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126495

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