One of the biggest signs you’ll fail at dating is if you have to put in a lot of effort

the-big-sadd · 2022-08-19T10:10:30+00:00

Depends on what you mean by hard work. I go to the gym to make my body look better and be more healthy. When I was single I’d regularly go out with friends, talk to girls at the pub or dance with them at the club. I keep my house clean to ensure it’s a comfortable place for guests to stay round. Now I have a girlfriend, I buy her gifts and organise dates, or I ask her friends to help me organise a surprise for her. These things all require work and effort, and will absolutely make it easier to get girls, or keep a girlfriend.

Of course there are limits, if you’re changing who you are to make yourself more attractive it’s probably not worth it, and the mask will always slip and girls won’t want to date you anyway, but on the whole it’s much more complicated than ‘the more effort you put in the less girls you’re gonna get’

MarBitt · 2022-08-19T10:19:02+00:00

It depends on what type of effort.

If you are interested in a woman, you automatically give her a lot of focused attention and make an effort to get to know her. But it feels natural because it's fun and easy. So you don't even have to realize it.

When it seems difficult and you feel like you have to overcome obstacles or resistance, there's a pretty good chance that you're actually going through a woman's resistance, based on the fact that she doesn't care much for you or that you're downright repulsive to her.

DryFinger7331 · 2022-08-19T10:29:18+00:00

I have an intresting take for you all: have you ever tried doing drugs?

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Eyesofmalice · 2022-08-19T10:23:11+00:00

Wholeheartedly agree.

And to add to your post.

I think that's behind the rationale that makes people think that if you're not succeeding in dating is because you're not willing to succeed. For example, they'll tell you that if you're not successful it must be because for some reason you don't actually want to date people. Or tell you that something inside you which is vague and mysterious will one day click and suddenly start manifesting partners in your life out of the blue.

It's just impossible for a truly well adapted person to empathize with someone who's not, let alone analyze the reasons beyond their success.

Just as rich people tell poor people to "just follow your dreams and be confident", attractive people often say yo other " just smile and be nice"

Finally, i also think that's way the Segway attractive people take to justify their success is "being interesting" which lately has become their favorite platitude. You could be a philosopher/artist/seer, but if you're not attractive enough then your personality is irrelevant.

Usually the same people that tell you that "oh you're just not interesting enough" ideologically subscribe to whatever the status quo tells the to parrot, spend hours upon hours watching cooking and dance TikToks, and their way to unwind is going clubbing.

They just can't face the possibility of succeeding in dating despite being boring and dumb, so they project that stupidity and dullness into people who aren't as successful as them so that they can confront themselves without seeing their ego compromised.

That's also why people rather project all the ills of mysoginy into unsuccessful men, because they're not willing to confront that mysoginistic people in society are very successful and have s great deal of control over everybody else's lives.

stlmick · 2022-08-19T10:25:01+00:00

If I'm doing all the prep work, like having a functional life, staying in shape, self care, hygiene, doing well at work, maintaining friendships, and am in a good mood, happy, and less concerned with any specific woman, I do far better at dating. That's because all the groundwork is done, and that is work. For some guys, they are just born into money, are tall or attractive, had a happy home life, etc, this work is already done. Other people have to work harder. Most of the work of dating is not approaching women. Most of it is being a guy that women want to date.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-19T10:33:08+00:00

No incl content

Title	One of the biggest signs you’ll fail at dating is if you have to put in a lot of effort
Author	EveryNizastar
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	August 19, 2022 9:57 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ws9z1z/one_of_the_biggest_signs_youll_fail_at_dating_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/one-of-the-biggest-signs-youll-fail-at-dating-is.1128851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128851

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