My experience had been that women can’t handle a Nan that opens up emotionally or is vulnerable without losing respect for them. Does anybody know of any study or scientific evidence to back this up? I'm doing a TEDx talk on the importance of men's support groups and I'm missing this type of evidence.

The standard is that being vulnerable in relationships is good and men need to open up. It's accepted that men don't open up because they have been taught it makes them look weak and they should just let go of this thought process and be more emotional. My thesis is that men have no problem opening up under the right circumstances. I run several men support groups and found men are hungry for these opportunities. Therefore what I'm saying is that it's not that men don't want to open up but that they lack places to do so.

In an environment where men are not only under a lot of pressure and need help, but the spaces and people that advocate for men are also constantly under attack. Men cant make a comment or suggestion out of place with the gynocentric norm and can be canceled if too insistent on doing so.

The question "why not just talk to your spouse?" is the one I want to be able to answer hopefully with numbers. I've found some studies that have linked negative results for men in leadership roles in the workplace but when we go into romantic relationships its all about "open up everything, talk, be emotional, etc..." and I don't think spouses are ready or can take the full brunt of the pressures a man suffers.

What I have found is that sharing with a men support group first and then sharing with the spouse makes the process much more bearable and positive for the spouse. But I don't have any studies only what I have seen in my groups which is why I come here for help.

Below are the studies I've found:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984315000223?via%3Dihub

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597815302521

https://thekeep.eiu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2533&context=theses