Heyo. I’ll keep it as short as I can.

Together almost 12 years, married 2. In June of 21 we separated. In March of 22 we divorced. We have two kids 11 & 6, youngest is special needs autism/adhd.

In that time, this is how things went.

While separated, she lived in the martial home. When we divorced, I bought her out of the marital home and moved in.

We maintained 50/50 during that time and that would change upon the kids starting school. In our divorce agreement, I signed to let her moved about an hour away and then she would have the kids FT when school started. This agreement was primarily due for our special needs son on he basis of consistency.

Well….that never happened. In June of 22 she decided she didn’t want FT. Too much of our special needs son. Which I get, he can be a lot. But…this put me in a weird position.

So I was doing 50/50 still while kids are in school. I was picking up the kids on my days and taking them to school the next. She did not help with transportation. She had the ability to get my youngest of the bus at 3:30, but refused to do so on my days. However, I’m an hour away whether working or just at home.

Fridays are a pain, because I couldn’t pick up and drop off in the same day. Her solution was to let me work from her apartment…which I hated. We don’t get along, hence divorce.

Anyway, so I decided since we were going to continue to 50/50 I’d sell and move closer. But that was never updated, our agreement that is.

And for one reason or another, she has threatened me…idk…often that she was just going to “take” the kids. She uses our divorce agreement as leverage to do that. Latest reason being my son hasnt been eating well since starting meds for adhd. He takes adderall and has been since may of this year. She said it’s going to be my fault if he can’t continue his meds, which will ruin his education, and I’ll “have to live with that”. And if that happens, she will take the kids.

Now, I dumped about 15k recently into fixing my house up to sell on top of the 20k I used to buy her out. (It was a foreclosure, it’s valued 2x what we paid for it so I’ll make out pretty good on the sale. It’s under contract). So I don’t have money for a lawyer atm nor do I know if need one.

Anyway, she tries to exert some kind of sick control over me and does not help to make anything easier. I can’t stress how much I’ve changed to make this work better since we separated. She’s put me in such a weird financial situation by changing her mind over custody. She threatens me on a regular basis over the kids.

I’ve had enough. The last time, I said fuck it. You can do FT and I’ll pay CP. The threats and unwillingness to help in any way just drove me insane. I felt powerless. I actually think it will be better this way.

She’ll get about a 3rd (~1k a month) of my take home pay. I don’t care. I’m actually ok with this. I don’t think she can handle FT anyway for very long.

I’m actually ok. She tries to control everything it feels like. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sad about my kids, but I was terrified of paying like almost 2k in rent if she decided to take my kids as she kept threatening to do so.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. Does this make me horrible?