Difference between a man who invests in you and one who controls you?

Unusual_Marzipan887 · 2022-12-31T10:01:19+00:00

Great question I have also been in similar situations and the advice I was given is applicable to you (and for anyone who has dated an abusive person) Now that you’ve experienced one or more people that have manipulated you in these ways, you would recognise the other red flags that they showed throughout the relationship in future partners much more quickly. I am not an expert, but someone who buys you gifts to control you would presumably show a few other red flags Also, trust your gut feeling

Happy new year 🎉

FiveSleepingOwls · 2022-12-31T10:59:37+00:00

What happens if you refuse to do as he asks? A gift shouldn't come with an expectation.

tsukaimeLoL · 2022-12-31T11:45:21+00:00

I'd first rethink what "invests in you" means. From a dude's perspective, investing in you is more about time, conversations, etc. rather than the simple act of buying things for you. (although sometimes gifts are part of that too, but never as something to hold against you.)

sunglasses90 · 2022-12-31T15:21:26+00:00

Gifts aren’t the issue. Whether a person uses them against you is the issue. The first time that happens it’s time to evaluate the relationship and the guys character.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2023-01-01T00:44:23+00:00

A man should be buying you things because he loves you. If a man is buying you things to make you love him, he’s just buying you. You’re essentially a prostitute in disguise in his eyes if it’s the latter.

If you want to be a sugar baby then there are websites for that, but this is essentially what it sounds like these men are going for.

algo_trader_6ix · 2022-12-31T17:38:53+00:00

Men buying anything and everything to get a woman is a little weird imo. Men value time and energy over money. What would you prefer, a man that brings you a gift and spends half an hour on a date with you or a man that buys you nothing but spends 5 hours with you on a date?

Men can go bankrupt and come back to build even greater wealth. Money can be lost and gained. Time and energy is lost forever.

AngelicWitch101 · 2023-01-01T02:11:38+00:00

You can accept a gift and see what it means. If he assumes anything about it you do not agree to, you can absolutely set a boundary of what is acceptable to you. Feminine does not mean a door mat or no boundaries.

CellularOhio9 · 2023-01-01T01:35:30+00:00

I measure how much a man respects and loves me by how much he protects me more than how many things he buys me. There is some overlap in this like paying the majority of the rent for example, but yeah. Any man can buy me things but only a man who cares for you deeply will jump in front of a bullet for you. Just my two cents.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-01-01T20:30:14+00:00

Never turn down a gift from someone you're dating.

How you let him treat you afterwards is in your control. If YOU have an issue where you feel like you should compromise standards because the guy is generous - ie, continue dating him when you otherwise wouldn't, that's a problem to fix within yourself. Turning down gifts will not fix the actual problem, and will get rid of genuinely generous guys.

Neither-Suggestion78 · 2023-01-02T02:35:48+00:00

Guess

AutoModerator · 2022-12-31T06:34:20+00:00

Title: Difference between a man who invests in you and one who controls you?

Full text: Hello beautiful ladies!

I am currently on a journey of trying to be more soft and balance my masculine and feminine energy and have had a hard time accepting gifts from men.

While I have no problem with a man wanting to spend money on me the thing that makes it hard for me to accept gifts is because I've been in situations where the man will often use the gifts he bought me as leverage for him to treat me any way he wants.

Thankfully I have seem to break this habit of coming in contact with these men but I've heard beautiful stories of women who have had men buying any and everything they could to get the woman he wants.

My question is how can you tell the difference between a man who is spending money on you because he truly wants you and a man who is spending money on you because he wants to control you

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Title	Difference between a man who invests in you and one who controls you?
Author	psycho2098
Upvotes	24
Comments	12
Date	December 31, 2022 6:34 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zznlc7/difference_between_a_man_who_invests_in_you_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/difference-between-a-man-who-invests-in-you-and.1147982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147982

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