Points of negotiation

captainchippsixx · 2023-02-11T02:53:51+00:00

You should negotiate everything. Because all the “you can have that”. Doesn’t buy any good will from the ex. It just keeps her wanting more.

RideATX · 2023-02-10T20:51:27+00:00

Custody
Asset Division
Support (Spousal & Child)

Those are the big 3... Everything else is just noise.

jimsmythee · 2023-02-10T20:59:26+00:00

For any divorce-with-children in AZ, they require the parents to attend freebie mediation, so that the couple can decide on nothing or anything or everything, so the judge doesn't have to.

Custody.
Money like alimony and child support.
Debt.
assets, like my house and my 401k.

We agreed on nothing and went to trial.

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-02-11T16:01:25+00:00

I had a lawyer tell me once that "Everything is a negotiation". She was just trying to get me to stop thinking of everything as already decided. International travel with the kids can be a big one. Both parents need to sign for kids to get a passport. If there's no court order, one parent can be a total asshole if the other parent wants to take the kids to the Bahamas for Spring Break.

That's just one example. Another: when a man has a nice pension waiting for him at the end of his career, I've heard some men are willing to trade damn-near anything in the near-term to preserve 100% of his pension later on. It's a matter of what's important to both parties. Some women want CASH NOW, and are willing to trade to get it.

One tip from me, a non-professional negotiator: Avoid letting everything come down to one number. That is, if there are numerous subjects on the table, and one of them is money, people sometimes try to settle everything EXCEPT the money, and do the money last. Then, when it looks like negotiations are almost over, only money left to decide, one party says $X (and they won't budge), and the other party says $Y (and they won't budge).

At this point, there is real danger of the entire settlement going to shit. You've let everything come down to a single number. Avoid that. Always be willing to trade something else (a little more visitation, a little more custody, a little more debt, a little more whatever).

Title	Points of negotiation
Author	danahja
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	February 10, 2023 8:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10z23i1/points_of_negotiation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/points-of-negotiation.1151196 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151196

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