After reading articles on reddit, facebook, and news sites, it is becoming more apparent that heterosexual men in general are not allowed to express their sexuality without often being labeled a creep or disgusting. Some overzealous feminists go as far as to label all men potential rapists with uncontrollable sexual urges. Even what was once socially appropriate means of expressing interest in a woman (introducing yourself at a bar, online dating, looking briefly at a pretty woman) is now often met with negative reactions. No wonder many guys have resolved themselves to sitting at home playing video games and watching porn when it is safer to do so than risking being personally demonized for natural biological functions.

So on one side of the continuum, men are receiving these negative messages from women that their sexuality is unappreciated. I would like to argue that men are also receiving messages from other men. I came across this link last night: http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/1k5y39/theres_a_simple_solution_to_the_problem_folks/ .

I personally thought what the guy did was a good thing, and potentially saving himself from a risky situation. The comment section, however, is littered with messages from other guys attacking the OP for declining an opportunity for sex. While reddit can be a hub for comment trolls, I believe this is an accurate reflection of what most modern guys experience when it comes to sex. Most men (and women) have a natural desire and urges to have sex frequently, yet men are socialized and expected to be always "on" when it comes to sex and always want it. If a guy declines sex for whatever reason, he is often labeled a pussy, gay, or weak for doing so. If a guy does not actively "hunt" women he is seen as weak, insecure, or gay. Often women too will reinforce these messages by becoming angry and belittling men for turning them down for sex when they offer.

So now being a heterosexual man, you are feeling societal pressure from peers and society in general to go out and mate, mate, mate because that is what real men do, and if you don't then something is wrong with you. Yet when you decide to do so and show interest in a woman, it is often met with negative consequences, harsh rejection, insults to your person. You endure this punishment, though, and continue for fear of backlash from your friends, family, or not living up to societal standards of manliness.

Of course this is not the experience for all men. However it seems as if this is becoming a more common trend as time passes. Men are being criticized for their sexuality on both gender fronts, which creates a confusing paradigm that further alienates men in society. How in the hell do we fix this?