Things Men are Ashamed to Admit (post from AskReddit) - reading this list reminded me of just how restrictive male gender roles are.

Demonspawn · 2013-07-02T17:40:52+00:00

The male gender role isn't really all that restrictive, as long as you've proved manhood to begin with (and yes, manhood must be earned and proven rather than womanhood which is simply granted at first period).

The problem is that so few men have a chance to prove manhood anymore. Everything is dumbed down and made less challenging so there is no sense of accomplishment, no sense of earning, nothing to truly be proud of. So little to stake your "I'm a man because of X" hat on.

Because of this, men "ape" being a man almost as much as women do in today's society. Because they haven't sufficiently earned/proven manhood, they keep doing "non-female" things in order to demonstrate manhood. But that's not manhood, that's just avoiding femaleness.

I see this a lot differently than a lot of people because I am a man who has had the opportunity in life and the experiences necessary to prove manhood. So what if I like MLP (it's a good show), so what if I like Mike's Hard Lemonade, so what if I like Taylor Swift.... I'm a combat vet. My manhood is not in question because it's been proven. If I were a great athlete, proven myself through a warrior culture, as a good father in a culture that actually values fatherhood, or well known in some tough intellectual field even.. it wouldn't matter.

But for the majority of men who've never had the opportunity to cement their proof of manhood (again, due to what we've done in our society) their only way to maintain their value as a man is to avoid being seen as female/girly. So that's how they demonstrate it and why they feel "locked" into the role of continuing to prove it through all the little meaningless things because the real things have been removed due to the culture we are in.

TL:DR; If our culture wasn't attempting to destroy masculinity, this would barely even be an issue... but because it is, the only way to demonstrate masculinity is to avoid femininity at all costs.

2013-07-02T17:36:08+00:00

This thread made me smile, I've introduced my SO to lots of grooming practices that are considered "girly".

He is very spoiled as far as skin/hair care is concerned. :)

robby7345 · 2013-07-02T20:44:44+00:00

I found it hilarious that the highest rated comment is " Real men dont feel shame!"

Super_delicious · 2013-07-02T19:11:43+00:00

That was the cutest thread I've seen in awhile.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2013-07-02T14:17:32+00:00

I couldn't help but laugh about some of the revelations. And yes, there's a lot of truth in them.

Interestingly enough, the thing about "I like hard lemonade, so sue me" is something I found quite compelling. I always thought you were meant to choose beverages on the basis of LIKING them, but apparently your choice of drink is in fact a Social Positioning Good (i.e. something you buy to communicate something about yourself to other people)... hence beer is for "real men" and wine is effete and champagne is for women (strange... last time I heard, Dom Perignon was male!) and cocktails are gay or something.

Yeah, male gender roles are restrictive as all hell. But going by that thread, it seems that many men are regular transgressors of them... which is a good sign.

Title	Things Men are Ashamed to Admit (post from AskReddit) - reading this list reminded me of just how restrictive male gender roles are.
Author	Brintyboo
Upvotes	29
Comments	26
Date	July 2, 2013 6:18 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1hhcy6/things_men_are_ashamed_to_admit_post_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/things-men-are-ashamed-to-admit-post-from.1169730 https://theredarchive.com/post/1169730

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