I need legal advice in Canada.

TigPlaze · 2017-08-21T19:25:25+00:00

Please do not kill yourself. I can relate to your pain. Believe me, I've been through a lot. there are resources for you in Canada. Check out this link and choose your province. Please get help. Your life is of value, not just to you, but to others. https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

jarathus · 2017-08-22T06:32:47+00:00

I cannot fathom what your life has led you to this point. there are so many things making life worth living. It is unfortunate you do not have the support at home to help you with your crisis of life.

Nevertheless some anonymous internet stranger is here to help.

If you are hell-bent on killing yourself. Join the army or the French foreign legion. You can find your first opportunity to take glory into your hands dying for your country or your platoon mates or to save an innocent.

Now during this quest for the finest death in the fiercest of battles you can find. you will:

travel the world

see places you have never seen before

meet friends and people of the world

form bonds with others that only a death oath can have.

eat foods you have only heard of in your dreams or tv

swim in oceans or lakes you have only ever seen on a map

hear the languages you have never heard

had the love of a woman you saw in a NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

Climb a famous mountain

see all the continents

see where im going here. Perhaps in all that searching you may find a reason to live.

or you find the most glorious way to go out only seen in the movies. And your family will see you as a hero forever.

"remember TIREDANDREADY1? that sommabitch charged that hill full of AKs with everything he had. took 10 of them out and won the day before he fell to his wounds. He saved those hostages that day. 50 people owe him their lives"

WIN-WIN as far as im concerned.

cld8 · 2017-08-22T02:42:53+00:00

Please tell me there are people I can talk to to help me arrange my death in such a way as to minimize any pain or horror my family or friends might feel.

Unfortunately, there are not. If you kill yourself, your family and friends are going to be devastated. There is no way around this.

mikesteane · 2017-08-21T19:28:42+00:00

I too suffered from depression until about the age of forty. At that time I attended a weekend long men's gathering, something best described as being on the mythopoetical side of the men's movement. I was evidently ready to deal with my issues at that time, but over the course of the weekend, I found I was able to completely overcome this long term problem. I have not had a bout of depression since and this was 16 years ago.

I realise this is not the response you asked for, but please feel free to message me privately.

Nezborn02 · 2017-08-21T20:59:48+00:00

Remember man. You have one life and one life only. There is no heaven. There is no Hell. Every last moment on this earth you have should be cherished. Don't waste your one life with this foolish decision. I too have been in your situation but I have decided to push through and at least try to enjoy my fleeting existence. Just your death alone will have a great affect on anyone who knows you. You may even cause others to take their lives as well. Spare your mother the pain. I know this may not change anything but at least give life another year or two. I'm sure everyone in your life will appreciate that (including me and everyone on this sub). I wish you the best. I hope to hear soon that you are well.

genderbent · 2017-08-22T00:14:18+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so badly right now. I do hope you find another way though; things may be awful, but they can't get better if you're not alive.

The legal situation in Canada for assisted suicide is clear - it is not allowed for mental illness. Anybody who helps you will be in severe legal jeopardy.

I know you've had disappointing experiences, but drugs and therapy can work; there's just no way to tell which ones will work without trying them all. We really don't know why the drugs work, just that they seem to help certain people, so it's just a shot in the dark. That being said, if your condition doesn't respond to the SSRIs and SSNRIs commonly perscribed, there are still tricyclics and atypical antidepressants available. In a lot of cases, the older tricyclics work better than SSRIs, but the newer drugs are perscribed first because they have less side effects. That being said, the tricyclic antidepressant side effects aren't so bad - would dealing with some dry mouth not be better than feeling so awful you want to die?

Going back to the SSRIs, one thing about them is that they do take several weeks to be effective. This is kind of a mystery to science, because they only take a few days to reach peak concentration in your body. The period where they start to take effect is particularly rough; the sense of destroyed mental faculties is common along the way, although it clears up until you start coming back off of them. It's also a very dangerous time psychologically; they tend to lift depression just enough for people to get motivated enough to kill themselves a few weeks before they lift it enough for them to no longer feel the need to kill themselves. If you're currently starting a new medication, the way you're feeling right now is likely to change in the next couple weeks.

As for therapy, the research shows that all forms of therapy are about equally effective, depending on one factor: the relationship between therapist and patient. If you don't get along with your therapist, and feel like you're in a safe and supportive environment, it will almost never work. If you do have those things, it will usually work, regardless of the thereputic modality.

It usually takes multiple attempts to find a combination of drugs and therapy that offers real relief. I'm sure you know this, but I mention it just to remind you that just because you haven't found something that works yet doesn't mean you never will.

Another resource a lot of people ignore is group therapy. In my own battles with mental illness, I was shocked by how helpful it was. The loneliness and misery of depression can be crushing, but I can't even begin to express the relief you feel being in a room full of people dealing with exactly the same shit. While it may feel like what you're going through is unlike anything anybody else has ever experienced, there are probably hundreds of people in your community feeling exactly the same pain. Meeting with them and supporting each other helps so much; it makes you realise on a gut level that you're not alone, and that your fight is one that other people also fight, and even win.

Where no drugs or talk therapy are effective, there are still options. Believe it or not, electro-convulsive therapy (better known as electroshock or ECT) is incredibly effective in even the most resistant cases. It's actually one of the oldest therapies, and it came about when doctors realised that epileptics with severe treatment-resistant depression would have the depression disappear completely for months at a time after they had a seizure. By inducing a seizure with electrical current across the brain, they found they were able to get the same relief for non-epileptics. While the image we have of electroshock is pretty gruesome, with people thrashing around and stuff, modern treatments aren't scary at all; patients get administered a sedative so they don't thrash around and hurt themselves, they get a treatment lying in bed, and then they go home and live life without depression for a few months until it's time for a new treatment. If you don't like having to take drugs, this may be a good option.

The options go even further; deep brain stimulation, where electrodes are implanted in the brain, is now used as a permanent treatment for the most severe cases of depression, and works where nothing else does. Obviously, this is an invasive surgery, so it's not a frontline treatment, but you may be a good candidate given your history and precarious state.

I totally understand the fear of having your choice taken away, but you have a lot of choices beside dying, and you haven't tried them all yet. If the help you've been getting doesn't work for you, there's nobody better to fight to try something new than you.

If you really can't find any other way out, please realise that your suicide will inevitably hurt other people. You will never be able to guarantee that it won't, no matter what you do. As someone with BPD, you're probably familiar with the experience of hurting someone you care about because of your reaction to things that deeply hurt you. If you kill yourself, you are ending your life with the ultimate expression of that cycle, letting it define you. It's your life, and I'm not going to make any point about "selfishness" but I am going to ask if that's the way you personally want to go out, and be remembered?

A final note: mental illness runs in families, and I likely inherited some of my issues from my mother, who had a much rougher time than me. She imparted a little bit of wisdom when I was at my lowest - suicide is a permanent solution for temporary problems. She meant it in the sense that it's something you can't take back, even if the problems themselves can be solved with less drastic means, but there's another meaning that may help too: all our best research shows that mental illnesses tend to lessen on their own in middle age. Even if you do nothing at all, it's likely that your illness will get a lot better by the time you're in your 40s.

I know this largely doesn't answer the question you came here to ask, but I hope there was something here that offers a little hope of getting out from under the shadow without having to kill yourself.

Mr_MRAnarchist · 2017-08-22T18:28:26+00:00

I believe that medically assisted suicide is now legal in Canada. You would probably need to jump through a bunch of psychological hoops to get it however. That being said, you can also seek help in Europe if you have the means. If you are concerned about someone finding your body after the fact, you can just pack up your belongings, and leave for a trip, and do it while you are not home.

rg57 · 2017-08-23T03:13:17+00:00

Unfortunately, in Canada, you have to have very particular medical conditions in order to get the relief you seek.

I really don't know why we think we have ownership over your life, but we do. Sorry (genuinely).

I don't have a good answer for you. If I did, I think if I said it here, your family may seek to sue me.

There must be change on this issue, so I am asking you to ensure that your MP and MLA know how you feel about your right to end your life in a dignified way, in your circumstance.

2017-08-23T03:53:05+00:00

I know you have been through a lot, man, but don't give up on life. Suicide is not the answer. Find a new hobby, something to take your mind off what's depressing you. Talk to a therapist. But whatever you do, don't end it. You are not terminal with a disease, and simply being that you are human, you have potential. Just don't do it, you will regret it upon entering the holy land, because once you leave earth, you cannot return.

2017-08-23T16:20:50+00:00

Go to a hospital. I suffer from bpd too. And anxiety. And I've tried a ton of medication, and ssris never really worked. Antipsychotics had side effects. Right now I'm using a plant based remedy, and it is working for me at the moment.

Don't kill yourself, go to a hospital, seriously. I know it's hard, and I know there's a good number of days that everyone in our situation just doesn't want to be part of the world anymore. new to reddit, but if there's a messaging system, send me a message.

One thing I've learned is that there is usually a way out to a brighter, happier place.

(discovering buddhism has helped a LOT. As a philosophy. We don't see the world how it really is. We see the illusions masking it, but with buddhism, I've had so much deeper of an understanding of reality. It's eye opening)

ThatNinaGAL · 2017-08-21T19:31:16+00:00

Please do not kill yourself. Please do not kill yourself. Please, please, please do not kill yourself.

If you make the utterly terrible choice to kill yourself, then do it on government land far away from your family home, but with a strong cell signal. The person who finds you will be able to summon qualified assistance immediately.

Historybuffman · 2017-08-21T20:06:14+00:00

Hey man, you will get no judgement from me.

I realize that people have to do what they have to do. I also appreciate that you are trying to minimize harm to others in the course of it.

However, I have found that modern medicine is really lacking on depression. Drugging you out of your mind seems a temporary solution at best.

Is your life ok? Objectively. You have a decent place to stay, decent job, semi-decent home life, kids? I have been somewhere in your realm and family is what stopped me.

What about physical health? Are you fit, a few pounds over, or more? Do you exercise 3-5 times a week? Hell, walking is fine, just go walk for 45-60mins after dinner tonight. Do it alone or with family/friends. See if you feel a bit better.

I found I was at my happiest when I was in the military and exercised nearly daily. I think the ancient Greeks were onto something with the whole "healthy body, healthy mind" view.

Now, if you are really gonna do it and no one can talk you out of it, I would say bodies are lost at sea often, or in deep wilderness, both are where nature will take care of the mess. A note in plastic packaging will help identify if found. It's up to you how you give your family closure.

But seriously, go do something you always wanted to do first. Go travel to a place you always wanted to see. Even if you are already decided, what is the harm?

No matter what you do, I wish you the best.

MyOthersAreThrowaway · 2017-08-21T20:04:55+00:00

You can helium mask it up. Basically the pain of suffication comes not from lack of oxygen but from CO2. So if you get a mask and just inhale helium, painless death. Also relevant greentext:

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/ubQ4LCl

Title	I need legal advice in Canada.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	32
Date	August 21, 2017 5:59 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6v4pbj/i_need_legal_advice_in_canada/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-legal-advice-in-canada.1175840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1175840

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