Feels like I'm drowning

lacuti3 · 2022-12-28T07:48:37+00:00

You should probably see a therapist. I saw your post history

datboihobojoe · 2022-12-28T08:04:06+00:00

You aren't lazy you aren't worthless you matter please seek a therapist OP.

MrNotSoSerious · 2022-12-28T13:18:21+00:00

Take it from someone who has also had the exact same issues and more PTSD

Depression

Anxiety
Nightmares

Panic attacks

Three things.

Medication. Therapy. And Gym (working out helps the medication work better too)

You'll most likely be given SSRI antidepressants along with other drug combinations. Unlike what most people like to believe, using SSRIs didn't tank my testosterone or anything. It's the same as it always was. But what it did is reduced my ailments a LOT. You cannot will your way out of a biological problem. You need some sort of medication.

Then just be patient and wait for a year at least. When things get better and if you apply all three of these properly, it certainly will, come back to this sub and work on yourself. Until then, focus on your mental health.

Away_Cat_7178 · 2022-12-28T20:03:29+00:00

Amigo, you're in a bad place; get out of it, no one will do that for you.

You took some initiative by posting about your situation, but that's not enough.

I'd like to share some information with you:

You can't save everyone, more importantly, you can't save anyone else if you don't first save yourself. You also can't really love anyone else if you don't love yourself, FIRST.
Don't listen to people when they say Psychiatrist. Psychologists, ok. Fuck anyone that tries to give you meds, do not go down that road. Anti-depressants will NOT help you, and fuck anyone that tells you otherwise. Don't trust psychiatrists unless you need ADHD meds, other that that, really, they can't help you. A psychologist could, and will get to the root of your problem. Most psychiatrists will prescribe you to become a vegetable. You don't want to become a vegetable.
TBF, before hopping down to see a professional, I strongly suggest trying to focus on making some mental/physical progress in your life first: meditation, fitness, food. If you still feel the same after 21 days, go seek help. It's as simple as every day: 1) Follow/count your breath for 15 minutes (if you lose track, np, try again) that will allow you to let go of your thoughts at will. 2) Lift heavy, lookup hypertrophy exercises), to improve your mood, and 3) stack on protein, keto diet if you want to get fancy, for wellbeing.
Be grateful for the things that you DO have, the good things that DO happen. Every single day. The world is a BIG place. Good things happen, Bad things happen. People are born, people die.

You have no-one in this world to blame, this journey you're on is yours. You are the captain of your ship, you get to decide what you do in your 70-90 years on this planet.

Do something with it, cry at night if you need..

That's ok.

Justcoffeeforme · 2022-12-28T13:13:44+00:00

I would suggest going to see a medical doctor and a Psychiatrist. Im pretty sure there are some medications that can help you get through this.

Ian I encourage you to think about the idea that most humans are fucked up also. Your not alone. You seem to be trying to be honest. Humans lie a lot. And try to convince others they are OK when they most definatly are not.

th0tmaker · 2022-12-28T11:29:09+00:00

Eh, not really that different from what most guys have to deal with. Depression, anger, anxiety, lonliness, unhealthy coping, bad relationships experience with people.

Maybe your vocation and family past fucked you up a bit more than the average dude, which is unfortunate, but it is what it is.

I am not no professional therapist, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but as someone who dealt with a couple of mental problems in the past and tried to solve them by 'rationalizing', the thing that helped me is learning to get out of my own head and just accept what was and how life is.

Practice things like stocism, acceptance, humility. Understanding that you can't change the past and what other people did or are like. Understanding that you aren't special, in the sense that shit happens to everybody to some extent... There's always a give and go. Your ego is just in the way, making you believe life is out to conspire against you when it really doesn't give a fuck about you, and that's okay. Your situation might be shittier than the majority of people, but it still doesn't make you special. Work with what you got and change what you can change.

And again, this trickles down to humility. Understanding that you're an anomaly on this Earth, in the most positive way possible. Imagine, you could be anything else, a fucking rat eating trash on the side of the road and sleeping in the sewer... But you're not. You're a human being with the capacity to influence and experience life in the highest order. And yes, the negative experience is part of that. It's ying and yang. Learn to accept it and also learn from it to move forward.

Once you can get out of your own head and your own way, then you can start moving towards something more tangible. And it's a process that will take time. Learn to accept that as well. That you're not just gonna wake up, click a couple of buttons and become a millionaire... it's optimising your day with healthy habits that will put your on that path, as you take a little step forward each day.

Healthy habits are super important, and will also help you get out of your mind and into the real world, focused on real time. Gym. Once you're lifting heavy stuff repeatedly and putting it down, you'll be amazed at how quickly your mind's focus shifts from thinking about everything, to thinking about how heavy this shit is and how tired you are. And that's good for someone who is too much in their mind. What also helped me was picking up basketball back again. Found a couple of people to hoop with, and it's the ultimate therapy for me. Because when you're playing a sport like that, your mind is focusing on the task at hand, automatically. You aren't thinking about what someone said 3 weeks ago that struck a nerve... It's purely in the moment. And that's the definition of meditation for me. Some people can do it while sitting down, cross-legged and breathing deep. I do it while getting the ball and crossing over someone while pulling up for a midrange jumper. Splash. All cerebral. But make sure it's done in a healthy way. Cause a lot of guys use video games to achieve the same effect, they get into a similar mental zone, but it just spirals into a bad coping habit. With basketball, i am getting out of the house, i am exercising, i am hanging out with the bros, i am practicing my aim and body mechanics. This is the by product you want to aim for. Not sitting alone in your room in front of a screen for 5 hours.

Anyway, that should be enough info. Anything more is mental masturbation and trying to 'out-think' life, while the answer is keeping it simple and sticking to basics, especially when those are messed up.

DirtJellyBeanz · 2022-12-28T15:58:59+00:00

Hey man, you need help. Go seek professional help there’s nothing wrong with it!

CptDefB · 2022-12-28T18:15:39+00:00

Charles Bukowski has an entire poem that goes like this, "When the soul wanes, the form appears." That's it. I have been using poetry as my method of journaling/self-discovery/self-healing for some time and, for me, it helps.

Conversely, what's implied by his poem is that when the soul waxes, the form fades. I also find this to be true. I think both are necessary. If writing isn't your job, then there's little consequence to long periods of no writing at all. I call this my growing time; when the inevitable wane comes, I have more to write/reflect about.

George Carlin once said, "If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self help; that's help." Writing for/to/about myself has been better than any time I've spent with someone else trying to unpack my mental devices. An "expert" or "professional" benefits from your continued patronage, so, much like curing cancer, healing you is theoretically opposed to their financial interest. This isn't to say that an external influence cannot improve your internal state; after all, you are here.

All I'm saying is two things;

Don't give up on yourself; this subreddit is a bastion of proof.
Try writing, honestly, with/to/about yourself. As time passes, the value of previous writing increases as you are able too see your own footsteps in the sand and, without any external judgement, can measure/manage your steps.
- I also encourage you to write things that are hard; hard to write and in the future, hard to read. It's cathartic to get it out and if it's hard to read then you have/are, in my opinion, moved/moving on from that place -- that is success.

Bon chance.

WorshippingLasagna · 2022-12-28T21:09:01+00:00

I’m a veteran, I have PTSD, when back from the field I was a mangle of a man. Therapy was the best thing that happened to me bro.

It’s not easy, because when you break a bone and don’t immediately fix it, the bone fixes in the wrong way and they need to break it again to have it heal properly.

So therapy is not a walk in the park, it hurts at the beginning, but I can assure you it fucking works. It did with me. It changed a shipwreck of a man into what I am now. I am proud of myself, I am happy and the only aftermath of my past trauma is that I don’t stand unexpected loud noises. Piece of cake really, as compared to what I was. And I have a job I like, I am successful, I have a woman I love at my side who loves me back and I am past all of that shit.

So get therapy bro and, more importantly than that, follow it religiously. It has to be worse before it gets better. But it gets better. Greatly, incredibly, fucking impossibly better after some time.

And now mate go and shine like the star you are. Also: you have my respect as a fireman. You guys save lives. You’re fucking heroes 🙏

Sennahoj12345 · 2022-12-28T12:14:09+00:00

Listen to me. The world can be scary, but it doesn't help you to worry. Worrying too much isn't good. You can relax and live in the moment. And when the future things you worry about come you can meet it with your saved up energy.

I know the feeling of everything being hopeless, but I eventually got out of depression. You need to talk to someone about your worries because it helps so much! I want you to be free from depression. Try to find hope again please. Talk to someone you trust and don't worry too much about the future or past.

GhostofAchilles · 2022-12-28T21:32:09+00:00

Stay at a monastery for a week and then come back and read books on PTSD treatment.

EugenioLeon · 2022-12-29T03:04:57+00:00

You can't save everyone you're firefighter for a reason. Not everyone can risk their lifes to save others. You are wishing to go back in time but as you said your childhood was bad u don't want that. See a therapist, i don't trust them but hopefully u find someone out there to help you wish u luck man.

lifeintraining · 2022-12-29T07:11:45+00:00

My man, it gets better. When you feel you’re at rock bottom then you can only go up. See a therapist, brother, please. Also wean yourself off of the unhealthy coping mechanisms. You’ve got this.

TCH1610 · 2022-12-29T09:24:34+00:00

Dude, only you can fix yourself up. You know full well why you are like this. Hit the gym and eat as clean as you can. Give it a month or two you will see the results. Be responsible to yourself, grown up.

shamissabri · 2022-12-28T09:21:33+00:00

How old are you and are you a guy and do you suffer from any physical disabilities?

returnofbigman · 2022-12-28T20:16:55+00:00

You’re gonna make it brah keep going I’m in a similar spot rn, seek a professional and also journal and meditate

moroccan_gigolo · 2022-12-28T23:15:00+00:00

There is a lot you can do to solve your issues. I'm 100% you have a fuckload of trauma you need to release. And I'm also sure your diet is shit. Many of the ailments you experience can be eliminated by changing your diet alone. You'll go to a therapist, you'll be given SSRIs, you weight will go up, you will be dependent on them. They might fuck up your libido and might cause other issues. They will also prescribe you a benzodiazepine like Xanax. At first you'll feel good, but those substances are poisonous to your nervous system.

What you need is exactly what I alluded to: you need to release trauma and you need to feed your body the right way so it can repair properly.

I can send you references so you can read them yourself. They will help, guaranteed. But the work you'll have to put in, it's going to be a rough road. I've been there.

Hit me up with a PM.

ShowMebs · 2022-12-29T16:22:39+00:00

A lot of us have been where you are. I'll pray for you brother.

yanis-black · 2022-12-29T03:41:04+00:00

Do grounding, it really helps with free floating anxiety.

For panic attacks, do the physiological sigh. It's a solution in real time that can turn off panic attacks in like 10 seconds if applied right at the beginning.

Here's a video of how it's done :

https://youtu.be/kSZKIupBUuc

And obviously, be on a good diet, go to the gym, and be on a good sleep schedule.

Trollz4fun · 2022-12-29T20:51:15+00:00

I'm glad you made an appointment with a professional because this seems too deeply rooted. However for advice from some guy on Reddit, I see a warrior in you. I envy you. You said you are Asian. Asians all have a traceable culture going back thousands of years. Harness that. I'm an American mixed mut with no culture or history. Family pretends I'm Irish but I'm so far down the line and mixed it means nothing. You have been through trauma, and trauma makes a man. Research your ancestry and become a warrior. Going to the gym always helped me block out heart break. If you can't muster the strength to go to the gym. Then just do 1 push up. I know you're not motivated. It's not about motivation. It's about training self discipline. A disiplined man is a warrior. I see the light and potential in you. You can become a god. Keep fighting buddy

FeCCr · 2022-12-30T16:54:47+00:00

“I care… I don’t know why” For me, I stopped caring before it drove me to self destruction. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been close to the edge, on and off, for most of my life. But before going over, I stopped caring about anything or anyone but myself. In 1977, I had the same thoughts and feelings you have, but then a fuse blew, I stopped caring about anything but lifting and playing football. Throughout my life, there’s been one sad, painful experience after another. Breakups, divorce, family court, mentally ill wives and children, and on top of it all, a culture that by default blames you instead of helping. But when it all starts dragging me down to hopelessness and self destructive behavior, I let go of it all, cut ties, wipe the slate clean, and build a new life focused on physical fitness, eating right, financial security and spiritual discipline. That’s my mission, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about others, or help them when I can. But I’m not God, and I can’t fix people or society. My best relationships with people occur when I’m 100% focused on my mission. It doesn’t seem like that makes sense, but it’s true. The best relationships you can have with people happen when they share or someway fit into your mission. That’s because you’re a man. What I went through in 1977, when I was 14, was once called a “rite of passage into manhood”. It began a pattern of behavior that continued off and on throughout my life. It involves staying on your mission no matter what happens. Regardless of fears, sorrows, anxieties, social pressures, the lure of women, drugs, money, no matter what, stay on your mission. If you do, surprisingly, you’ll make good friends and attract good women, and inspire other men who are struggling with same thoughts and feelings. That’s the best way a man can care about others, in my experience.

LeatherBoundWisdom · 2023-01-01T05:38:11+00:00

I personally wouldn't recommend a therapist. If you spill your heart out they have immense power over you. If you don't, they won't be useful. I'd be really fucking anxious if a therapist, who are generally super wokey and establishment types, knew all of the shit in my head.

I've had a lot of success with wim hof method I suggest you try it. Get yourself on a routine that works and makes sense and stick to it. If you have good friends or family, surround yourself with them. If you don't, try and find some good people and give them some joy, then they can give you some back.

Simptopimp-co-uk · 2022-12-28T14:59:28+00:00

Watch my mental health guide. We can get you significant progress in 2 weeks.

TimeXo9 · 2022-12-28T16:23:40+00:00

completely get off masturbation and sex for a while. get your head together. you will figure stuff out. therapy might help, but it wont solve the problem. for what you gotta do my man you gotta do. therapy wont change reality my friend. but you can change yourself.

JollyGrade1673 · 2023-01-07T15:26:14+00:00

are you depressed or are you just adopting the identity of a depressed person? my guess would be the latter. what does your life look like? are you content with what you do for a living? with how much you earn? with where you live? with any partner you have or have had in the past? are you in good shape? whatever it is, there's probably a life circumstance or a certain lack in your life that is causing you to feel this way, address that thing and your depression will vanish

-Billy-Bitch-Tits- · 2022-12-28T16:57:51+00:00

You should try some anti-depressants, you sound depressed af

ReviraeVolta1111 · 2022-12-28T18:10:56+00:00

Look for "lacanian" psychoanalysts

mr_falcohn · 2023-01-02T07:46:47+00:00

Only God can save you at this point… good luck

masterofservant · 2023-01-02T12:41:56+00:00

So how and why is this redpill?

Title	Feels like I'm drowning
Author	War-rior314
Upvotes	47
Comments	82
Date	December 28, 2022 7:33 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/zx3kd6/feels_like_im_drowning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/feels-like-im-drowning.1176707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176707

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