Posted a reply to a guy on r/AmITheAsshole who’s wife of 8 years is trying to force polyamory on him after she fell in love with a dude she met online and began a sexting affair with. My post was deemed “toxic trash” and my mental stability was questioned by people offended by certain terms I used.

Gingerchaun · 2019-02-15T22:15:24+00:00

At least the rest ofbthe thread is letting him know hes not the asshole.

GingerRazz · 2019-02-15T22:32:04+00:00

I feel that you're not wrong in anything you said there once you defined what you meant by obedience. At the same time, I can also understand why people's biases gave you a knee jerk response in light of their ideology.

The fact is, while they were extremely young when they started dating, she was old enough when they got married for it to be a reasonable expectation that she was in sound mind when she committed. The two were married with vows, and her actions fly in the face of commitment.

She went down this road and decided she wanted it behind his back. She let someone outside the relationship decide how to handle her desires and come to a conclusion of path without consulting him and is now mad that he feels betrayed their relationship by not just going along with her self discovery along her path of betrayal. The fact that this is all about her and what she wants is the most offensive part.

He takes the marriage seriously. The fact that he even has to ask if he is the asshole proves that. She thinks he's being an asshole for not forsaking who he is for her sake. Also, it's blatant to me she is using her pansexuality as an excuse. She wants to be with a man. She's married to a man. This situation could occur if she were heterosexual. It's not like she's going for a woman, hermaphrodite, or non-binary. Her sexuality is irrelevant, and the way he brought it up implies it's a core part of her argumentation.

Honestly, she's just feeling the 7 year itch and trying to make him change to satisfy her urges.

Also, understand, in reading your response, I feel like you have some underlying baggage. I'm not saying you're wrong. I don't think that at all. I just feel you seem surprisingly emotional for responding to strangers on the internet. I think people are using that as an excuse to attack you rather than respond to the thoughts you're posting. It's concern trolling paired with tone policing because you're totally right about how fucked up it is and some people want to make excuses.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2019-02-16T03:45:40+00:00

I love how you asked that guy twice to explain himself, and his answer both times was "lol."

McFeely_Smackup · 2019-02-16T02:22:18+00:00

I'm be honest in that I didn't read that novel you wrote, but I do think you'd over reacting a bit. The person who said "toxic trash" was soundly down voted, and the gist of connects seem in line with yours

It's Reddit, if you say "the sky is blue" someone will want to argue about it.

Windryder · 2019-02-16T09:10:30+00:00

You made a fantastic and well-reasoned post there. Important to have that perspective in there. Unfortunately, a forum like that can attract a lot of women who are there because they want to sit as social judge, jury and executioner in the court of public opinion. I wouldn't have the stomach for dealing with those people these days. Good thing there is someone like you willing to post something like that in that kind of space.

2019-02-16T12:29:00+00:00

Divorce her

14b755fe39 · 2019-02-16T21:32:53+00:00

That post is a no brainer , the wife is trying to extract a blessing from the husband to fuck other guys this isn't what he signed up for.

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