I'm really hoping you ladies could provide some advice for this situation.

I've done what the first step/right thing to do is and I had an honest conversation with him a couple months ago where I told him how important it is to me.

The first time it was brought up a while ago, he cried because he felt bad. He said he didnt want me to be feeling this way all because he could have said some stuff.

I know it wasn't fake because he's a rather quiet crier and genuinely doesn't want to bother me. He is sensitive and cried a lot for a while when we first got together, and in recent times it's died down.

Then a couple of months ago when I noticed things weren't changing and we had that conversation, it was the first time he went as far as to say that he would bring something up if he thought of it. It really hasn't happened much, so much so that if he has brought some things up I wouldn't remember them.

I do express my need for compliments often, and he never gets mad but he rather either doesn't answer much or will say he'll try to more/when something comes up that he thinks of it.

Some things I want to do to tackle the situation are exalt my traits about myself that I know he does like. The biggest thing that comes to mind is my hair. He loves my hair, so I want to take extra care of my hair when I'm working again and can afford all the fancy hair stuff.

Another angle I think about taking is just trying to give him an all-around better relationship and see if maybe the happiness factor in the relationship amplifies, and maybe he will compliment me more? Is that naive, like hoping on his potential?

We admittedly have argued a bit, but even when we're having a really, really good time in the relationship for a bit, I still don't receive compliments.

The thing is, when I think about making him happier and doing all of this good stuff for him, I get really happy and excited to be an amazing girlfriend and bring him peace and joy. This can go on for quite a while with me being elated and not a bitter bone in my body toward it/him. But then when I start actually doing those things, I get hit with this feeling of bitterness that makes me want to sabotage the relationship and breaks my heart, I feel a bit empty and can't believe that only my second relationship and at my age and the man I may end up spending my life with forever doesn't compliment me and I can't imagine dying like that. I feel pissed and angered at God if he so exists, because he knew he made me ugly and I always thought that I would strike it amazing later in life with a great man who worships the ground I walk on because of it, like I deserve to finally experience full, thorough love and appreciation for who I am.

I'm admittedly not a very attractive woman and while I do/still want to do more to work on my looks, I know I am genetically not all that. Because of this I have had a complete lack of male attention and validation my whole life, I never dated, I never got flirted with or hit on, and I don't relate to a lot of common girl things like being hit on or having men be willing to spend on you or travel distances for you. So I was hoping I'd get that in my relationship, I feel destined to have princess treatment lv reassurance with who I end up with, because of like karma I guess, though I don't really think of it that way consciously.

He knows this and he knows about how my looks have effected me and hasn't even said he's sorry that I had to go through that, though he is shy so that could just be that, but I don't want to be naive about it either, and it gives off that he just doesn't want to have hard conversations, or that there's nothing he can do about it. Because really, what can he do about the fact that I've lived like this, or that I'm not super pretty? We both know it's not like he can just airbend reality.

I also know I'm not his type. He's into asses and that's legitimately his only criteria, which I find a bit cringe 🤭 but I try to be open-minded, and to each their own. It just hurts because I have absolutely ZERO booty, I mean zilch, to the point where I've been made fun of growing up for having a chalkboard or pancake ass. I've asked him if there's any way I could ever possibly become his type and he did his usual thing he does when there's not a good answer for something, which is get quiet and try to avoid hurting my feelings and try to avoid lying at the same time :/

I told him that the compliments don't have to be physical, but that I would still appreciate him complimenting me on SOMETHING physical if there is anything at all, even anything incredibly, super small, so that way I don't have to feel gross about taking a pity compliment, and can still see that he appreciates micro things about my looks. But nothing has come up.

I know he likes my hair because he mentioned it once within the first few months of us dating, and that's about it. I wish he would compliment my hair if it looked extra good or he was extra appreciating it one day, but he hasn't. I often wonder if he really likes my hair or he just said that to pacify me.

I have thought about the fact that maybe I should just accept who he is, and that he's not verbally affectionate and that's just that, and try to rest in knowing that I know he cares for me and shows up for me in the relationship. He's a great man, helps me with everything, my family likes him, and is the nicest soul.

We talked about love languages before when I brought it up during one of these times, and I know words and physical touch are near the bottom for him. He knows physical touch is number 3 for me and words is actually last, but he knows that I have all of the love languages, and need a lot of both.

Even though words is low priority for him, I am still hurt that as a boyfriend he doesn't care to try to express his care for me in MY love language, just because it's not his. That's an anti-love language to me. I'm also very physically affectionate and he isn't much of an initiator to that type of thing but is pretty receptive to it when I initiate, especially when it's non-sexual.

He knows that while physical touch is number 3 for me, it feels like my need for that is so burstingly high, that it basically feels like it could be a number one for me, that's just how much I need of all 5, especially my top 3. Even though words is my #5, I still feel like I'm in such a deficit of them that it's just heartbreaking and isn't normal and wouldn't be well-received by ANYONE to have this much. Have I done everything I can, is there hope here outside of me having to just giddy up to accept it?

(I also am INCREDIBLY verbally affectionate toward him, like shower-him-in-compliments-every-two-seconds, and while this isn't his love language, I feel it should be endearing to him that I am this adamant about how much I like him and praise him, that the favor should naturally be returned if he has any level of interest in me at all :/ so I feel it's a 'such is life for the less genetically blessed' thing inevitably again)