How to get out?

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-03-27T02:42:30+00:00

from my experience, and from all the research ive poured hours of time into, victims of narc abuse are usually co dependent and trauma bonded to abuser, and therefore there relationship with the abuser is on par with a severe drug addiction like heroin. Its counter intuitive, logic and reason won't work, or any other method of banging on about how bad this person is for them. You want to be careful to not actually push them away by trying to help. They will choose the abusive person over you 99% of the time. Its not personal its just an like an addiction. Be careful not to make enemies with the abuser or they will paint you out to be evil enemy and isolate victim from you. My ultimate advice is to not actually intervene but placate the situation and monitor closely- this is inly really worth it if it is someone you are willing to be extremely patient with and not eventually blow up at them for being so attached to an obviously abusive person (I see lots of posts on here like this, where ppl are like ""ugh im so drained by my pickme friend with all her boy issues seams so obvious to dump him, this is draining my life etc etc" like that is fair enough because ultimately I dont think you can rescue anyone until they actually want to leave and then ask you for help. I rescued my little sister from a narc, and after 3 months she secretly got back together with him - betrayed me by having him in our house behind my back and then she gaslit me and turned on me choosing him over me when I confronted her. She had basically become him, and he had to completely brainwashed her into hating me because I was the only person she had left to turn to and I helped her. He destroyed all her friendships. So be careful.

MissouriBlue · 2021-03-27T03:14:14+00:00

As the chick on the receiving end of the abuse for decades... until I’d had enough, it was never permanent. I’d leave him and he’d BS me into thinking “it’ll be different this time” for decades. Decades! 😳

Plan ahead and have an exit strategy lined up for her use. Maybe one day she will use it. My mother and sister tried and tried, and then simply set aside some money for me to live on when I finally had enough. It took two children and some physical (teeth/bones) breakage, but eventually I made my exit permanent with their help.

I didn’t want my son to think that was the way he should treat women, and I didn’t want my daughter thinking that was how relationships should work! That was my key...

I couldn’t have done it without two strong women in my life - my mother and sister.

And there are good resources in this Sub.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-03-27T02:17:06+00:00

We have information in the handbook which you'll find in the about section. You can also search for this topic on r/askFDS as well.

_bethiebabes · 2021-03-27T02:27:33+00:00

check out u/ebbie45 and her posts/comments, she’s an expert

Title	How to get out?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	34
Comments	8
Date	March 26, 2021 4:28 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mdsgif/how_to_get_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-get-out.1187499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187499

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