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_bethiebabes Archive

View 28 posts and 655 comments by _bethiebabes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
593

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:19 AM
548

SHOWER THOUGHT_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:32 AM
391

 REDDIT HATES WOMEN_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:43 PM
247

DISCUSSION_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 02:55 AM
224

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:51 PM
146

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:54 PM
113

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 11:36 PM
103

RANT_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:17 AM
88

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:03 AM
77

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:27 AM
77

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:19 AM
67

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS12/05/21 06:33 PM
52

FDS ANTHEM 🎶_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 02:59 PM
45

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:51 PM
43

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS24/09/20 03:39 PM
26

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS31/08/21 04:13 PM
24

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS08/03/21 10:50 PM
21

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS22/04/21 12:38 AM
15

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS09/12/20 08:48 PM
11

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS14/02/21 12:30 AM
11

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS03/04/21 06:34 PM
8

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS11/03/21 12:23 AM
7

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS28/01/21 04:52 PM
3

_bethiebabes/r/askFDS27/04/21 10:57 PM
1

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:38 AM
1

_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:32 PM
1

TRIGGER WARNING_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:24 AM
1

LVM LOGIC_bethiebabes/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

it was “she’d be fine if she just didn’t get so nervous” that got me. he hates her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:12 AM
68

you’re amazing, this is exactly what I was looking for!! it actually did come up in my search but I passed it over because I didn’t think the title was a match. thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:30 AM
26

youtube had the audacity to feed me an ad the other day where a woman told me how going poly was the answer to all your relationship’s woes. I was so disgusted I closed the app and bailed on the video I was waiting for, legit still mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 05:22 AM
97

no touching, no kissing, no hugging, no saying I love you I burst out laughing when I read this. she hates this man with a fiery passion and I’m positive he knows why
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 09:55 PM
24

fyi we can see your tt username
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:07 PM
7

fyi we can see your tt username
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:06 PM
8

having a pity party 🙁 i know it’s not hv, but this is where I’m at. my kids are at their dad’s, i have no other family or friends, and I’m so broke I can’t even buy a box of wine. I’m 35 and I’ve literally never had a good new year’s celebration
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 06:01 PM
160

The worst part is I have no idea where these thoughts came from no, the worst part is that you’ve spent your whole life speaking down to half the population and admittedly treating them like stupid children, and never once possessed the self awareness to even notice this behavior let alone question it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:56 PM
4

He bought his new bride Freudian slip? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:42 AM
18

Anytime someone says "i'm too strong to-" it's peobably a deflection. plus it’s a disgusting insult to anyone who has experienced whatever they believe they’re too strong for. saying you’re too strong to be abused is just a roundabout way of saying that abuse victims are weak
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:25 AM
29

my ex. but that’s only because his “we should break up” was a bluff and I called it instead of cowing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:22 PM
82

I especially liked how the interviewer phrased the question like “I’m not saying this, other people say this” and then immediately tipped his hand by being shocked at the answer he got 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:08 AM
94

I’ve come to the conclusion that people genuinely mean the jokes they make, at least a little, and especially the off-color ones. I could have saved myself a lot of misery if I hadn’t been so worried about being the cool girl who’s never offended
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 05:26 AM
58

yes yes yes! this man thinks he can keep very significant secrets from his wife and still be a good husband 🤔 that’s not a man you want in your life, and most certainly not in your bed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:12 PM
96

and I guarantee it’s not even the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 11:09 PM
139

omg this song had me dying!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 03:47 AM
7

no, she’s not right. as long as I have a roof and food, the family court isn’t going to alter custody, and neither would cps. it was significant because my ex has and continues to use access to my children and fc to harass and abuse me since our romantic relationship ended and my therapist basically sided with him. so yeah, suggestions of taking my kids away from me touches a nerve, I guess I’m just weird like that
/r/askFDS31/08/21 07:27 PM
22

thank you for your reply. I have a terrible memory and rarely remember usernames so it’s surprising to me that someone remembers my posts. I really appreciate your encouragement
/r/askFDS31/08/21 04:43 PM
3

my ex: you complain about me all the time but I never complain about you me: yes. you’re getting all of your needs met, while I’m getting jackshit. so, yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:02 AM
4

No - stringing along would actually be messaging back and pretending he was more available than he is. fair point, but I think he is getting off on all the attention she’s lavishing on him, and I guarantee he comes back around with some sob story of emotional turmoil that can only be resolved with her vag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 10:36 PM
21

you gotta stop texting him. if he wanted to respond his mother’s illness wouldn’t get in the way, he’s just stringing you along
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 08:31 PM
4

plus there’s so much missing from this chart!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:59 PM
362

in the death throes of my last relationship, my ex exasperatedly listed all the ways he felt he treated me well: “I don’t hit you, I don’t cheat, I don’t complain about all the weight you’ve gained...” that was it. even with his massively inflated ego, that was all he could come up with to praise himself for, but abuse fucks with your head so much that I still felt like the bad guy ps the weight gain was after giving birth twice in 13 months... he would also later say I’d contributed “nothing” t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:20 AM
21

damn I guess I am still straight 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:52 AM
2

https://tenor.com/view/bender-bender-whoa-whoa-futurama-awooga-gif-21438507
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:50 AM
23

while using peddit one day, I scrolled past a post in a sub called “young p0rn” I’m still horrified
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:21 AM
15

not at all 🙂 the only reason to be concerned about not having a period is when you otherwise “should” have one, but lots of women use birth control to intentionally skip their period, and lots of women stop having a period as an unintended side effect of bc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:29 PM
54

if he’s choosing that over his bare face then it must be real weak down there 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:56 PM
2

this dude: “they’re bad people, not taking care of their kids” ALSO this dude: “my baby mama thinks I’m homeless so I don’t have to take care of my kids”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:37 PM
19

what’s wrong boys? can’t take a joke?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:57 AM
100

and then they complain about being “friend zoned”! bro, you met up at starbucks and made her buy her own drink. that was how I spent my days after school when I was 13, what part of that sounds like a date?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:59 PM
13

revoking people’s access to me is my favorite flex I didn’t realize how true this was until I read it! even way before I discovered fds I would cut people out of my life, always well after I should have, and I always hated the way people would respond like I was doing something outrageously radical and unreasonable, it’s nice to get a little validation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:25 AM
2

this is red flag behavior honestly, he’s telling you that you’re going to have to do all the work. he’ll definitely hide stuff from you and then blame you for not asking, ask me how I know 🙄
/r/askFDS20/05/21 02:49 PM
3

honestly I think it’s the being a wife that takes away your personhood much more so than being a mom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:35 AM
6

better yet, you can be an auntie like this!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:15 AM
8

my girls get chocolates, flowers, balloons, and a card with a handwritten note for valentines. they’re 2&3 and they’ll never accept minimum effort
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:48 AM
4

the more you read on that wiki page the worse it gets
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:39 AM
7

yeah, “I plan to permanently alter my infant child’s genitals, for no other reason than that they would be more sexually appealing to me” is an incredibly perverted stance to take. why is it necessary to find your child’s genitals attractive?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:37 AM
9

facts: circumcision was popularized in the us by a man (surprise!) for the express purpose of deterring masturbation and sexual pleasure. kellogg (yes, like the cereal) also advocated for the practice of applying carbolic acid to women’s clitorises for the same objective. the man was a fucking lunatic, click that link at your own peril
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:36 AM
9

I have a little bit of sympathy for him; he met the girl at a bar so it wasn’t unreasonable for him to assume she was of age, and he seems to have owned it rather than try to excuse his behavior (for example, the sex was actually legal at the time despite her only being 16 🤮 he could definitely have latched on to that and refused to admit he did anything wrong). plus he was also quite young at the time, only 24. it prompted him to get sober, nothing like this has occurred since, and he’s been wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:04 AM
15

I hadn’t seen these pictures so I had to go looking, and found this ~~hilarious ~~ article cautioning everyone to not be so mean and talk negatively about the way people look, and I can’t help but think that this article would never be published regarding a woman’s change in appearance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:51 AM
11

damn, I was 10, talk about sexual awakening 🤤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:38 AM
12

he claims to have a degree*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:22 AM
28

also, you cannot shame someone into treating you well. if they don’t have it within themselves to treat you properly of their own accord, nothing you do or say will change what is broken inside them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:07 AM
24

fr, a therapist’s job is not to just coddle and blindly support whatever their client says with zero analysis or introspection! I’m not totally unsympathetic towards sex sellers, but goddamn do they make it hard to be compassionate when they say shit like this unironically
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:03 AM
25

I wish this subreddit and podcast existed before I joined and got traumatized for life. same girl, I grew up without any role models of any sex, and it’s hard to not think of how different my life could have been if I’d had people looking out for me like they were supposed to do. the only thing to do is make sure my girls have it better than I did, and I’m sure as hell not dropping the ball for them 👸🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:38 PM
2

https://i.imgur.com/e73G2q7.jpg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 11:04 PM
241

Well the party was nice, the party was pumpin' And everybody havin' a ball Until the fellas started name callin' And the girls respond to the call I heard a woman shout out Who let the dogs out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 10:36 PM
10

I can’t stop listening to this!!! I need this to be a full song that I can blare all day!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 07:32 PM
49

when i first saw my ex without his beard, I walked past him chuckling to myself that “that guy looks like an ugly (ex)”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:02 AM
13

I loved them! I didn’t expect to but I watched the whole thing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:52 AM
55

all the fine af posts are being heavily downvoted, percentages are way below normal for the sub and I can’t stop laughing at all these butthurt scrotes wasting away their hours, obsessing over all these shirtless men at least as much as we women are!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:46 AM
84

that’s why I like a man with a strong jaw unobscured by facial hair, gives me confidence that he won’t wimp out before I’ve arrived a couple times 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:32 AM
10

in my experience men in the culture are catered to in the most extreme way by every female they interact with, but especially their family (and these relationships can get really creepy, I have a story about my ex, his sister, and a massage that still skeeves me out). they end up with the most warped idea of what a relationship should look like, and you’re expected to just be his pollyanna baby factory/bangmaid/multipurpose tool to achieve whatever it is he desires. they also tend to have very l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:08 AM
15

which is so sad because guys from that region really do it for me looks-wise 🤤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:36 PM
22

as an american women with a turkish ex... admire from a distance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:08 PM
17

and if he behaves this way publicly on his professional page, wth were in those messages he was sending her?! 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:05 PM
13

I always give the same super generic name, good luck trolling fb and ig for jen adams!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 02:01 PM
47

and he obviously sent the third k before he even read the last message she sent him!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:26 PM
7

the poster doesn’t mention a husband/father, so I assumed she was a single mom, dad’s probably not around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 07:15 PM
29

you want men to like you because we’ve been fed this lie our whole lives that you can determine a woman’s worth based on how men feel about her. the truth is that men are very stupid animals who cannot properly analyze their own behavior or emotions or be trusted to make any kind of judgment at all. and as contradictory as this may sound the best thing for you to do is just pretend that they don’t even exist. you don’t have to go out searching for men, men do more than enough searching on thei…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 01:57 PM
10

op please check out this post and the included article for proof that when men have sex with women they aren’t already in love with their brains stop forming an intimate relationship with her Scientific evidence: Neurochemical reasons why a woman should not sleep with a man until after he has fallen in love with her
/r/askFDS13/05/21 01:38 PM
19

this is a really tough question and I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer here. depending on your relationship with her and her behaviors you might want to just cut her out, or you might want to help her ‘see the light’ and both are perfectly valid options you might want to check out this post (NSFW AND EXTREMELY DISTURBING): Men's reviews of prostitutes they visited. This is for you libfems who promote the empowerment of sex work. Very graphic so warning. or this one that says averag…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 01:22 PM
9

yes, but even he only did one of these things 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:54 AM
5

okay, I had to go look for that interview and found the relevant part here, the size comments begin about 3:30, but the whole thing was so uncomfortable, I feel terrible for those girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:35 AM
2

we’re here for you!!! 💗
/r/askFDS12/05/21 11:19 PM
31

putting the cart in the corral vs leaving it in the middle of the lot leaving garbage in the theater at the end of the movie even though you’ll walk past a bin on the way out double parking/parking in the fire lane when there are real spots available driving on the shoulder to make a right on red
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:43 PM
45

I am just wondering if a guy invades your space in public (like at a cafe) if the best thing would be to tell him to fuck off? personally I’ve gotten to a place where I can’t hold my tongue even if I wanted to! I don’t “call them out” per se, but I find it really difficult not to make comments like gross, go away, did I say you could do that? etc. I’m not even talking to them, just about them 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:36 PM
7

ii appreciate you and your comment, thank you 💕
/r/askFDS12/05/21 09:00 PM
7

thank you so much 💕
/r/askFDS12/05/21 08:57 PM
8

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment 💕
/r/askFDS12/05/21 08:57 PM
9

thank you for the support 💕
/r/askFDS12/05/21 08:56 PM
27

even if it really is “just friends” I find that men who vehemently defend intersex friendships are incompatible with fds women. in my experience, they all want the not like other girls Cool Girltm and/or have a serious madonna/wh0re complex
/r/askFDS12/05/21 08:19 PM
2

flexibility. what happens when things don’t go according to his plan? is he amenable if you want a different restaurant, or have a different opinion? if you correct him? when you present an obstacle? but more than anything, what’s important is how he treats you. a man is entirely incapable of being a good father if he’s not good to his child’s mother. if he wants to do everything he possibly can for his child, then he needs to do everything he possibly can for you, yesterday, today, tomorrow, fo…
/r/askFDS12/05/21 07:55 PM
2

this guy is unstable and maybe dangerous. on two occasions he was unable to disguise his anger when you made clear that you guys won’t get back together, and his level of involvement with your family is concerning, especially if you have an ill parent. whether he legitimately “wants you back” or just wants you to want him back, his behavior is disturbing and it won’t resolve on its own. you need to start removing him from you life, asap
/r/askFDS12/05/21 07:39 PM
6

hey girlie, I’ve been split from my ex about two years now, but your story is so similar to mine, lvm are so predictable! the two biggest things are time and therapy. a lot of people feel some kinda way about therapy, but fr it’s your best chance to heal and level up and stay hanging around fds, reading the material, recognizing the societal brainwashing we’ve all been subjected to our whole lives... it hurt me to read you say “I deserve to be a wife” like, I know where you’re coming from, but i…
/r/askFDS12/05/21 07:26 PM
46

I have to disagree with some other comments here: it’s incredibly important that women understand why men do the shitty things they do why do guys ghost and then pop back up? it’s part of their cycle of abuse: I used to call it ‘build me up and knock me down’ before I learned the terms ‘love-bombing’ and ‘devaluation.’ it’s a shit test; “how much bullshit will she endure just to be near me?” he’s hoping you’ll be so excited that he texted after so long that you’ll throw yourself at him, and if y…
/r/askFDS12/05/21 06:55 PM
2

I always thought of it more like she bails as soon as she sees it doesn’t meet her standards, but I like yours better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:51 PM
2

omg have I been misinterpreting that line this whole time?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:53 PM
8

this isn’t your fault. you didn’t consent. he might have asked, but only because he already knew it wasn’t okay, so he put the pressure on you to be responsible for his actions rather than being responsible for himself. he knew. he was taking advantage of you, and he knew, but choose to continue. he knew. RAINN is a great organization that offers a hotline and chat options to help you navigate this minefield. and never forget that we’re here for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:25 PM
84

The fact that men who respect consent are so rare is a complete refutation of NoTaLLmeN... THIS is what people need to be reminded of! there are no posts of women fawning over a man because ‘he breathed oxygen😍’ and we shouldn’t be planning a proposal just because ‘he didn’t assault me😍’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:14 PM
260

I see these posts all the time and comments are always so positive, and I just don’t get it. how can you read these posts and not immediately think “wtf is wrong with men that this behavior is so rare it has to be celebrated?” how is this not a slap in the face to everyone who reads it that the world is a seriously fucked up place? how could anyone find this encouraging, rather than a horrific indictment of life as a woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:55 PM
6

I thought you could get arrested in the us for sex tourism like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:30 PM
7

I don’t say this to play devil’s advocate, just to share my situation. I have toddler aged daughters who frequently talk about having a baby or being a mom (even being my mom 😂) when they grow up. they know about pregnancy because a family friend had a baby last year, and they understand that they grew in my belly, and they just want to be part of the conversation. I really hope that strangers who overhear this talk don’t think I’m brainwashing them into becoming baby factories. we also talk abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:19 PM
84

I “lost my virginity” to a guy with a legit micropenis, who was too fat to even get properly hard. I had to put it in quotes because it was so awkward handling his dick, like trying to fuck a pebble-sized piece of play dough, that I just gave up and pretended to fall asleep when he took a bathroom break never again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:40 PM
10

older women don’t need the benefit that “dating leonardo dicaprio” provides the same way young women do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:05 AM
18

wtf does he even think he contributed? all he did was shoot his load, you don’t even have to be awake to accomplish that. she’s the one who gave her body to create an entire new being from parts of herself and then did all the work to bring the baby into the world, she made herself a mother!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 11:00 PM
10

omg this is so infuriating!! if my ex wore the baby in a baby bjorne, people would instantly fawn over him like he’d invented the cure for cancer, obesity, and eternal youth. but a mom wearing baby in a carrier is practically invisible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:27 PM
139

oh man, it just occurred to me the other day that my massively prideful ex was somehow able to swallow his astronomical ego to go 50/50 on rent while he was definitely making like 4-5x my income, even while I was pregnant with his child! idk how he could manage it, my face starts to flush just thinking about pocketing one of those checks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 07:06 AM
2

there’s no other scenario where an adult can use the excuse “the kid wanted it” and other adults will just nod along. obese child? they wanted that chocolate! drowned in the swimming pool? they wanted to go in the deep end! drunk at 13? cut me some slack, the kid wanted a beer! any reasonable adult could see how these arguments are absurd, and place the responsibility solely on the adult to err on the side of caution. redditors especially would absolutely devour any poster who said ‘well, I rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:42 AM
55

I wrote the essay that was the final assignment for his dui course 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:08 AM
1

image free days could be called Texty Tuesday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 03:58 AM
81

WhY caN’T Women takE A JOKe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:42 AM
24

we’re a year into this pandemic and can’t even get people to mask properly or wash their damn hands, anyone who thinks osha will keep prostitutes and johns safe is out of their effing mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:27 AM
3

my ex regularly flies his mother from halfway around the world to shoulder the load for a few months because he can’t keep a babysitter because he’s hardly around while they’re in his custody
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:21 AM
3

my ex fought for split custody and now pays thousands to a babysitter who is with the kids more than he is, rather than allow them to be with me and pay (significantly less) support, and is now wasting thousands more for lawyers to argue that there’s no need to change the order
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:16 AM
3

and he straight up said he did all this because he thought she’d magically change her mind and want to be a family once the baby was born
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:02 AM
6

I loved this so much I donated to my local dv shelter in your and Caroline’s honor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 11:28 PM
6

but those same men will turn around and say ‘well why didn’t she leave’ when they hear about abuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:34 PM
18

wow, the way he stares at her in the thumbnail is legit scary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:24 PM
3

okay, thank you. I still think he’s way skeevie and definitely shouldn’t be around your sister, be safe
/r/askFDS01/05/21 07:40 AM
5

op can you clarify something please? the night he crept into your room, are you 100% sure the breaker actually needed fixing? or is it possible that this is only what he said when he got caught and he just pretend to flip the switch? every paragraph of this was disturbing, but this detail could be a tipping point
/r/askFDS01/05/21 06:00 AM
5

I think op should seriously consider this option. I came in expecting to read about a single off comment, but it was paragraph after paragraph of incredibly creepy behavior that made me so uncomfortable, op should honestly reach out to everyone she can. the grandparents seem like a good option since they already raised concerns. op could see about speaking to her sister’s teacher/s so they can be on the lookout for a change in behavior. even the sister’s doctor but I think someone needs to slap …
/r/askFDS01/05/21 05:45 AM
3

like so many others in this thread, I had sex for the first time just to get it out of the way. I wanted to, but it was sooooooooooo bad, I can’t even explain. even more uncomfortable than swingers and I regret it so hard but more directly, you don’t need to explain or defend anything. it’s perfectly acceptable to tell them that you’re just not going to talk about that topic anymore and that they make you uncomfortable. plus it’s good to practice directly denying people in this way so that you c…
/r/askFDS01/05/21 05:31 AM
108

and what else does he think he might have poured his money into? what exactly is it that makes him think “gosh, I could have done x with my money, but instead I spend it all on my stupid family, what a waste!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:03 AM
111

my ex also told me that I didn’t contribute anything: before we had kids I paid half the rent and did the cooking/cleaning in his apartment, even though he made 3-4x my income and worked fewer hours. “we” bought a home and cars that I furnished and maintained, and are exclusively in his name. I played a major part in designing and opening his new business, worked thousands of unpaid hours while he benefited from the appearance of a family business that I’ve never seen any profit from, during a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:57 AM
136

welL why Do WoMEn lAuGH iF a MaN’S joke maKE ThEm uNCOMFORTAbLe? um idk bc, it’s dangerous not to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:50 PM
133

I don’t say this to detract from your post, or anything like that, but it’s important for all of us to be sure we’re taking off the rose-colored glasses when we talk about men, and that’s something I need to work on too these men are not making these comments to you in good faith, they are not innocently forgetting that maybe some women can’t have/don’t want kids, etc. they are deliberately telling you what they think of women. it’s a form of negging and it’s intentional. it’s designed to frustr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:05 PM
58

men will also say that they look down on women who like them because they know they’re trash and they hate themselves for it, so you must also be trash or just plain stupid if you fuck them. it’s said like a joke, but like all their “jokes” they say it because it’s true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:00 PM
6

was anyone pointing out the obvious truth that this relationship is over no matter what? if he stays, he’ll hate her and the baby and eventually it’ll end anyway. and especially if she gives in and has the abortion “for him” there’s no way they can stay together because she does want the baby. as always, she needs to make her decisions about her future as if he won’t be a part of it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:33 PM
1

you can block people so they aren’t able to follow you. and it’s easier for you to block them than for them to create new accounts so hopefully they tire of it quickly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:45 PM
4

op said she’s browsing in incognito, so no targeted ads ladies, I use a third party app for reddit, it has an ad free version for $5, and you can block entire subs. it’s called narwhal and while it’s certainly lacking some features, I’ve been using it a few years and I’d recommend it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:42 PM
7

“... this, and other tips to trick your toddler hubby into doing normal shit, brought to you, as always, by The Patriarchy! thanks, guys!” ps I definitely imagined the thanks, guys as a jingle for The Patriarchy and now I can’t get it out of my head
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 03:25 PM
2

I’m sorry you’re going through this doll. I found that what helped me getting over the guilt and shame of the embarrassment I subjected myself to was getting angry. a common suggestion is to write out all the ways he made you feel shitty. it helped me to see what a garbage person he was, all the cycles I’d missed, how frequently I sacrificed for “us” when he was only out for himself, all my good intentions where he’d been manipulative. that anger can help bring you to a place where you can say “…
/r/askFDS28/04/21 05:00 AM
61

It’s a way to get out of child support I honestly believe that for the majority of men who fight for custody, the financial aspect is really just a bonus, they’re actually driven by even more sinister desires: to deny their ex with something they want, negatively impact their ex’s mental health, negatively impact their ex’s social connections and status, etc. but it’s really all just about plain old control, and that they get to hurt her wallet/pad their own at the same time is just collateral t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:50 AM
234

I did my best to get verbatim and catch typos, etc, but feel free to offer corrections, this was a lot more difficult than I anticipated 🙃 tldr: porn is fucked up and it has real, negative side effects that can’t be ignored, especially when children are able to, and do, consume it freely. we should be trying to minimize/end it’s use, but censorship is the wrong avenue of approach; rather it’s more appropriate to attack on the front of moral outrage and our own first amendment right to shame the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:27 PM
30

um, excuse me, she’s actually “super mature” and we know it’s true because she told us so 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 07:27 AM
65

it’s so gross the way they whitewash everything. the caption of one of the pictures says here she’s 17, but the relationship didn’t begin until “years later” but she’s only 19, and they spent quarantine together last year? I never was good with math, but that seems wonky and then her comment “my mom always used to say I had a crush on him lol” that’s just a little throw away line and not actually addressed in any way!! like wtf, is this the onion in disguise?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 07:22 AM
73

this is a tangent, but have you ever noticed that it’s really only men who talk about “the one who got away”? sure, I’ve heard women fondly remember an ex who was especially kind/handsome/good in bed/whatever, but not in the same way that I’ve seen countless men pine after a mythical woman (who usually wasn’t even an ex, just some lady he fancied!) who “got away” which only means he wasn’t able to convince her to fuck him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:16 AM
17

yeah, he tried to float the idea of a reconciliation a couple times, in a really gross way too. I shut it down hard last time around and since then I’ve cut communication to the barest minimum, but he still finds ways to insert his dirty hands into my life and see what he can still reach to fuck around with next guard your womb ladies! it might sound silly but it’s no joke
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 11:16 PM
28

one of the ladies, sorry I can’t remember who, made the point that when you talk to men via old and so much of it is by text, you lose things like body language and tone of voice, etc. it occurred to me that when this happens, you can’t stop your mind from filling in the blanks, that’s just what it does! and it’s obviously going to paint a pretty picture for you, right? so of course you end up imagining that he’s the type of guy you could fall for, and that’s how you end up making stupid decisio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:43 PM
26

you might consider rewording that to “the ‘wage gap is a lie’ lie” because rn it kinda reads like you’re saying the wage gap is a lie and I know that’s not what you mean 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:26 PM
42

struggle love!!! it’s not worth it, it’s not rEAl LoVE if you’re not making huge sacrifices on the daily and constantly swallowing your pride and opinions and the essence of who you are. we’ve all been sold this ridiculous lie that relationships can’t be easy, carefree, conflict free, that if you’re not fighting with your partner then you don’t really care about them. people will tell you that it’s normal to feel you need to “fight for your relationship” and not something to be shied away from a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:08 PM
117

when my ex and I split up and he told me to move out of his house, I did it asap because obviously. but then he goes all pikachu face because I wasn’t supposed to leave so quickly, I guess he wanted me to hang around for a while like that pair of shoes in the back of your closet, the ones you’ve never worn but just won’t give up to goodwill because maybe someday you’ll finally find the perfect outfit for them, and he couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to do that. when he talked to “friends” a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:45 PM
2

that’s all true, but he’s very charming and presents extremely well, so it’s much more likely that he’s just love bombing her and she’s fallen for his poor unfortunate soul act. the cps caseworker, who’s like 23 btw, has spoken to her and she’s satisfied, so I oughtta just quit my bitching as far as she’s concerned
/r/askFDS22/04/21 04:27 AM
5

I legit don’t even speak to him, and if I’m being honest I have zero desire to speak to her either, plus my understanding is that she doesn’t really speak english and the only spanish I speak is no hablo espanol I guess I’m also really struggling with the idea that so many people have such a terrible and misrepresented idea of who I am. he’s already turned so many people against me, and through this whole process I’ve felt like I can’t get people to take me seriously. some people I can write off…
/r/askFDS22/04/21 02:01 AM
6

I had previously asked my lawyer about adding a clause to the custody order about not bringing romantic partners around the kids and she brushed that off as being something judges don’t do much anymore, so if the babysitter is his girlfriend that he’s moved in he can stick to that claim that she’s only babysitting so much and she’ll back him, and obviously I don’t get a say in who he lets live in his house
/r/askFDS22/04/21 01:48 AM
16

I wouldn’t let a man meet my kids for at least six months, probably a year but honestly I’m so turned off men that I have zero desire to date one ever again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:09 AM
2

I mean no disrespect by this but you’re just a kid and this isn’t a responsibility you need to take on. if you feel like it needs to be addressed, you should bring it up with an adult at your school. don’t mince words, tell them outright that you’re worried for her and you believe this is an abusive relationship. you can also get a lot of results if you google I think my friend is in an abusive relationship
/r/askFDS22/04/21 12:59 AM
3

hell no. either they’re still fucking, or they’ll start up again whenever the mood strikes and you’ll always be left to wonder also, who cares if he’s a unicorn for your age when you’re so young and have so much time to search for a better match? and just because something is rare doesn’t make it desirable. it might be uncommon that a guy his age cooks, but that doesn’t mean he’s intrinsically a hv partner, it only means that guys his age have a lot of work to do
/r/askFDS22/04/21 12:50 AM
12

I once took a sublease from a guy who began moving out at noon on the day I was supposed to move in and then left literal piles of trash and random shit in the apartment. there was also a thick layer of cat fur that clearly displayed his furniture layout, dirty dishes in the machine, and, like, seven pints of rice milk ice cream in the freezer. when I called him out he said he only left things he thought I could use and then blocked me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:19 PM
6

yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:47 AM
89

it’s hilarious to imagine this with the sexes reversed: a guy is in bed with his new pArtNEr when some dude walks into her bedroom to grab his toiletries from her personal bathroom, and then hangs around her apartment while she assures him the rando is just a friend babe nbd 🤣 imagine what they’d say about her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:42 AM
2

I had an older sister so I had all these kinds of magazines on hand from, like, eight. I can’t imagine ever letting my girls read that crap now that I’m a mom, it’s nuts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:04 PM
4

it’s how I need to wean myself off caffeine too, otherwise I get debilitating headaches that last for days, I can’t imagine detoxing off anything stronger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:53 PM
5

get some decaf coffee and mix it with your regular to wean yourself off over a couple weeks, and keep up the decaf if you really enjoy it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:38 PM
11

I frequently use non disposable menstrual products, and public bathrooms can be pretty inconvenient for those needs, so I do carry some gloves with my kit because it can help make for easier cleanup. but yeah, you can just buy them at the pharmacy or restaurant supply store, idk why anyone would get these silly pink ones
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 08:31 PM
3

I’m in love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 07:51 PM
2

isn’t it great?! I can’t get enough. she has a 2019 album and another coming this summer. she even has some tour dates with Joan Jett‼️ in october
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 07:50 PM
15

The FBI says Washington owns a trucking company called God Got Me LLC
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:33 PM
11

share the car parking tip?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:10 PM
41

“I’m an ass, man”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:50 PM
6

I can’t believe you’re being criticized for this wonderful example!! some people have no idea what a two year old is like 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:46 PM
6

goddamn that was sad. it’s probably not fair to judge the tone of her words considering I read a translation, but it felt like there was no emotion to what she says, like she’s talking about her grocery shopping
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:03 AM
47

I’m concerned that the students seem to believe it’s true, it would be nice if the administration would address the issue with them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:50 PM
19

how can she continue to have sex with him? he won’t even be thinking of her, just the woman from the scene he’s emulating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:35 PM
3

an abusive person will use any avenue they can to hurt you, and if they feel that denying affection will hurt you then that’s what they’ll do. but the abuse is not in the denying; the abuse is the manipulation and intent to hurt your partner, so even still you cannot say that denying affection is itself abusive edit: also, ladies, were you aware that you can block users, so that you don’t see their stupid, triggering comments in what is supposed to be our safe space? fyi
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:01 PM
30

right, what’s next? don’t want me to pull your hair? abuse! don’t want me to put it in your butt? abuse! don’t want me to screw other women? ABUSE!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:55 PM
9

I generally have a lot of sympathy for pickmes, because that was me just a few years ago. but this woman? she can fuck right off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:40 PM
7

a financial planner, a life coach, personal shopper, interior decorator, egg donor, surrogate, wet nurse, 24-hr live in nanny...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:13 PM
5

yeah, the numbers are actually worse than the report because of this little tidbit: The researchers then excluded what they considered to be consensual BDSM (bondage, domination and sado-masochism) videos from their findings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:20 PM
10

wtf is wrong with that woman?! not only did he never ever have a chance with the server, she pressured him to do it in the worst possible way. I understand that this is reality tv so 99% chance it’s entirely fabricated, but no one should ever be led to believe that it’s acceptable to treat people like this. I bet the server was painted as a shallow b after she no doubt rejected him, oh boohoo poor baby, he looks like the musinex monster!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:40 PM
1

I’ve posted this before, so I hope it doesn’t come across as spam, but I use an app called narwhal that lets you block whole subs from your feed so you can get rid of a lot of nasty stuff. first I just blocked p0rn subs, but now I get rid of all kinds of stuff, and there’s an ad free version for a few bucks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:28 PM
4

don’t date men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:21 PM
5

quarantined subs don’t populate in search results
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:04 PM
9

I want to see an experiment: a panel like this is arranged, but with a man arguing against porn, except Gail is feeding the man all of his arguments through an earpiece
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:30 PM
8

be sure to check out Fight the New Drug, lots of well sourced articles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:27 PM
13

I know, I think she kinda stumbled into that one but it proved her point so well (4:40). if this is how pornographers behave in front of a huge audience when trying to prove they aren’t terrible, imagine what must be happening on a closed set. I mean, most women would never dream of walking out on a private sexual encounter that she’s not enjoying, it’s completely unreasonable for them to say ‘oh she could end the scene anytime she wants’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:25 PM
15

she gave him what he gave her, fair play
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:20 PM
7

wow, thanks for sharing that video. I didn’t know sasha started so young, and tyra came off surprisingly well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:20 PM
8

I’m in a similar boat, not hung up on the guy (most of the answers so far seem to focus on that part of the question), but I have trouble letting go of the fantasy I had of what my life would look like. this is not the life I intended to be living, in fact it’s pretty much exactly what I didn’t want my life to be, and that hurts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:55 PM
10

uh, I am in fact saying all men 🙋🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:42 PM
7

this is so true, american men really can’t imagine how privileged they are to sit on their ass and whine on facebook about something that might, theoretically, at some undetermined point in the distant future, effect them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:39 PM
17

lol op is just a man who will use his other account to message all the pickmes in the comments and try to rope one in to leach off of
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:17 PM
16

yes all men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:09 PM
17

I wear glasses so I definitely noticed his! he could improve his appearance 50% just by changing the glasses, instead it looks like he’s been buying the same pair his mother picked out for him 35 years ago
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 02:06 PM
1

no, sorry, I’m surprised no one else has dropped it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 05:49 AM
125

and you know what? all of those “man jobs” can be hired out for cheap if you really can’t do it, but replacing the work a woman does in the home would bankrupt a man in a minute, if he could even find someone willing to do it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:37 AM
12

feminism vs “men’s rights” is exactly the same as blm vs “all lives matter” it’s like we’re on a plane that’s falling from the sky, and they’re pressed because they didn’t get their peanuts. fr?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:20 AM
34

facts!!! I played bangmaid to my ex for an embarrassingly long time, and I genuinely had to fight for that position because his mom and sister stayed trying to usurp me 🤣 he tries to say I’m just jealous because I don’t have family, but he has a legit creepy relationship with both of them. never again, let his mama have him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:02 AM
22

they can teach themselves to code but not to cook 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:52 PM
7

I’m saying “screw subtle!” this post inspired me to reactive my bumble (BFF only) and add #yesallmen in my profile, I don’t want to be friends with anyone who’s offended! edit: oh look at that, someone reported my profile, six hours after creating it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:53 PM
26

that was the one that got me, I had to walk away for a bit and angrily sweep the garden. he recognized that he was abusing her, and then followed that with the suggestion that he was the victim because it made him feel bad to view himself as the raping pos he is?! that and the one who says she showed him a piece of paper that said “I have no choice” over and over and over, and then says “is she free?” wtf?!?!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:42 PM
82

and shoes on inside the house 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:39 PM
27

I tried old for a few months last year and it was a waste. I set a boundary that I wouldn’t match with a man who hadn’t added a written portion to his profile, so that excluded a large percentage. then, the guys who did write in their profiles almost all said stupid shit, so they’re out too. also I don’t message first, and i unmatch if he hasn’t messaged within 48 hours. over a couple months, I matched with fewer than 20 men and only had a conversation with, like, three. all three were blocked w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:18 PM
14

I know I’m just a stranger, but I’m really impressed that you’ve been able to make positive changes in your life. addiction seems to be one of the hardest things to overcome and you must have done a ton of really difficult work to maintain your sobriety 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:06 PM
6

so true! it’s important to never be financially dependent on a man, but it’s just as important to never allow a man to be financially dependent on you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:52 PM
8

yup, there’s a reason that online trolls are almost exclusively male
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:44 PM
65

same for gift giving. a man who’s really into you will want to give you gifts and will get you things you actually like! if he can’t think of a gift that you would genuinely enjoy, or he doesn’t want to spend the money, then he doesn’t really care about you some of the terrible gifts I’ve received: a ridiculously ornate coffeemaker that was too large for my tiny kitchen counters. also, I’ve been french pressing my coffee for two decades and have no need or desire for a coffeemaker (this one is i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:21 PM
144

they know what they’re doing I debate this with myself constantly, because so many men lack the emotional intelligence to self reflect, I really wonder. like the guys from your story, it almost sounds like they hadn’t ever thought of the alternative until you said it, and only then did they realize what they’re doing and why. but then in the other hand, some shit they do is so egregious that they have to know what they’re up to. idk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:03 PM
9

I hate to be a bummer but I recognize the first lady’s voice from this sub, she’s a beautiful, thin, white woman who speaks like she’s hypnotized while spouting pickme libfem bs. I don’t use tiktok but I bet you can find her easily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:39 PM
16

there’s always an exception to prove the rule. people also like to point out steph curry, but, like, who else? fr, name one other, I’ll wait 😂 and on the other side, if we really tried I bet we could come up with hundreds of hvw who were dumped when their man made it big
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:14 PM
37

I would do this in a heartbeat! but it’s so difficult to find irl women with fds ideals, I keep turning up empty handed. I’ve tried bumble, meetup, and peanut off and on for years :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:53 PM
5

A+ rebuttal, what a compelling argument
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:28 PM
7

the only thing I really see as interesting is that, yes chris definitely raised red flags, but they seem to have been just basic lvm red flags, he never raised ‘family annihilator’ red flags even to the people who had a dislike of him prior to the murders
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:26 PM
6

all that needs to be said about Shannan is that vetting per fds would have almost certainly weeded chris out from the start, but anything beyond that it just insult to injury. the poor woman made a mistake and met the worst imaginable end for it, do we really need to sit here saying I told you so?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 08:06 PM
6

it also mAy hAvE bEeN AVOiDed if their father hadn’t chosen to murder his whole family for his pathetic fucking dick what are you even trying to say here, that she could have left? well so could have he. instead she tried to keep her family whole, obviously an unforgivable sin. he, instead of leaving, killed them all in grotesque fashion but we definitely need to talk about where Shannan dropped the ball, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:59 PM
25

what a horrific thing to say. the one and only person responsible for those murders is chris watts and you should be ashamed of yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 06:20 PM
23

I can easily name a dozen girls from my high school who “dated” guys that were 5+ years older when we were only 15-16. it was treated as a status symbol to be involved with an older guy and not just among the the kids from bad homes. this was a really nice suburban area, in one of the best rated school districts in the state
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 05:11 AM
52

“sex workers of peddit, tell me about your most depraved john so that I feel better about the pathetic requests i pose to prostitutes”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 02:50 AM
10

I tried to play it off but he was really butthurt and never shaved again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:38 PM
11

no one said there’s anything wrong with being tall and white, or liking tall white men. the issue is that men are frequently seen as exceptionally desirable despite having nothing to offer beyond being tall and white, and that seems to me like something worth discussing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:02 PM
43

when I first saw my ex without his beard I walked past him, chuckling to myself because “that guy looks like an ugly [ex]” 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:57 PM
2

ooh, very interesting, thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:21 AM
7

if anyone is interested, I use a third party app called narwhal that I really like and I’ve stuck with for years. it’s a much more simplified feed and doesn’t have all features the site offers, but it’s fine for me. you can block entire subs, and there’s a premium version with no ads (I paid $4 a few years ago). AND you can link multiple usernames so you easily can switch between burner accounts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:24 AM
3

does any one know, can other users receive dms from you if you can’t receive dms?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:18 AM
153

ladies who don’t use social media themselves, how do you vet his? you usually need your own account to view other profiles, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:05 PM
34

like a punch in the gut 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 04:16 AM
7

I thought it was very informative and something we should all be more aware of. I definitely have a habit of consuming trashy, guilty-pleasure type media and it’s something I’m trying to move on from, I want to curate more pleasant experiences for myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 02:25 PM
22

this is really interesting content, but check out this other fds post regarding some of those links: Linking to other bad actor's content, AKA: Do Not Feed The Trolls 🙅‍♀️👺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:12 AM
31

was he not aware when he married her that she’s asexual? seems to me like she’s having a lot of sex for someone who has no desire to have sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:01 AM
6

I’d say the bigger problem is him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:07 AM
53

I have trouble not laughing at this 😅 imagine thinking you’re so special that your opinion is an irrefutable fact, it’s hysterical
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 02:36 AM
2

yes, I am defensive, because you seem to be telling me that I could control his behavior if I would just try harder, almost like you’re blaming me for being victimized. boy, it sure would be handy if someone would coin a term for that action
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 01:48 AM
1

I’d love a better lawyer, but that’s off the table since I don’t have a spare $5000. I imagine you feel you’re offering advice, but it feels awfully similar to being told that I get catcalled because I don’t dress modestly enough. and I never suggested anyone “give up” I’m pointing out that the deck is stacked against us, especially when we’re poor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:24 PM
5

it’s nice to think like that, but it’s completely unrealistic. I have an order of protection, and believe me when i say that no one fucking cares. not the police, not cps, not the court, not his flying monkeys. as far as the court is concerned things like this aren’t harassment, in fact during our last run through family court the judge literally laughed at me as she told me that she can’t stop him from calling me names and that the texts he sent accusing me multiple times of various crime aren’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:28 PM
23

and don’t let him gaslight you into believing that he only lied because it’s ‘not really that big a deal’. firstly, I doubt any of the abused and trafficked women in the porn he watches would agree that their assault is no big deal. second, if he can lie to you every single day for three years about something that he doesn’t even think is important, how will he behave when there is a big deal thing he wants to hide from you? he’s made it very clear that you can’t trust anything he says, ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:50 AM
49

yeah, I don’t compete in ultra-marathons, but it’s not to teach the marathon a lesson about setting more realistic goals 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:17 AM
19

two years ago, when our child was not even six months old, my ex ended the relationship because he was bummed out about my ppd. shared custody means I can’t block him, so every 8-9 months we go through this bullshit where he asks me to get back together while pretending like he’s not asking me to get back together. it’s equal parts hilarious and rage-inducing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:10 AM
16

not just a presentation, you need to hear their rebuttal and you need their consent to end the relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:53 AM
20

there’s a thing lots of lvm do where they pretend that you have to accept their unfunny “humor and pranks” because they JusT WAnt yOU TO BE thEIR beSt FRIEND, and any resistance from you is a personality fault. you’re not allowed to say you don’t think it’s funny because that means you’re uptight, you’re no fun, you’re not letting him express himself authentically, and you’re a bad partner to him if you don’t go full Cool Girl in response looking back at my last relationship, I can see that all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:38 AM
6

She's defaulting to the assumption that his kink is to be violent with her even these brainwashed libfem lunatics can see that ‘kink’ is just a dog whistle shorthand for ‘I want to be able to beat, choke, and r@pe women and children without any critical analysis of my behavior’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:02 AM
16

bet they both make 29k 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:59 AM
6

there’s a certain type of privileged prostitute who couples their “sex work is work” rhetoric with this ridiculous idea that they’re providing some type of charitable contribution to the world by fucking all the gross losers no one else will touch, and this line of thought is so baffling to me first of all, what kind of miserable hell are you living that you would willingly volunteer for such a thing? that is a level of selfloathing that the can’t even fathom, and that’s not something I thought …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:44 AM
7

I like a 10 minute coffee just to check if I feel like investing more time in a man you shouldn’t accept any engagement with a man if this is still a question in your mind. you can test for this with a small handful of phone and video calls prior to any physical commitment. the reason for this is basically the same as for why he should pay and plan everything: the level of effort a man puts in when preparing to meet a woman is about 1% of the effort a woman puts into the same meeting. you’ll do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 04:57 AM
28

the Venn diagram of men who believe society owes them sex and pedophiles is basically a circle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:49 AM
31

as if there’s some International Board of Women that prohibits certain men from getting laid 🤣 no honey, we’ve all decided individually that you’re unfuckable, much more damning 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:48 AM
6

I reported, then commented so they’d see the reason for the report :) I use a third party app, so I can report, but that’s as far as my options go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 01:00 AM
10

mods, u/yag4pmurt is a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:27 AM
24

and we know that sexual assault is incredibly underreported, but even if we double the number of men r@ped by women, that’s still less than half the reported number of women who have been r@ped by men that men can even freely tell the story of being r@ped by a woman proves how rare it is: it gets attention precisely because it’s so uncommon, whereas a woman recounting being r@ped by a man is exactly like the story of a billion other women so it’s a bummer and gets downvoted for being pedestrian
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:49 PM
7

can’t be too careful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:38 PM
39

here’s the thing young people need to know about age gap relationships: YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL I guarantee that at least 99% of all age gap relationships are a clusterfuck of blinding dysfunction. you are not so special that you will have some miraculous experience that no other person has ever had throughout human existence, sorry if that hurts your feelings. and it goes without saying that the older party in any age gap relationship is a terribly low quality person, so they certainly aren’t going …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:37 PM
19

the two things I’ll remember most from #metoo: all the women of my mother’s generation who said “harassment? that’s just life as a woman” and really thought that was the end of the conversation the realization that every woman who has or will ever live has been harassed or assaulted by a man. every single one. this one still hits me hard. you put it out of your mind so much, but sometimes I’ll look around while I’m in line at the grocery store or daycare dropoff or some other, and just be devast…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:07 PM
42

I wish!! instead, the replies are just a bunch of Cool Girls wetting themselves with excitement at the idea of soothing the poor, unfortunate men while eagerly insisting they’re not like other girls ps we should probably be extra over the top careful to ensure nothing we say in this sub could be interpreted as encouraging brigading 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:44 PM
33

I’m sure they meant to say “everyday harassment” but they’re just woke-fishing and aren’t even familiar enough with the topic to know what they were trying to say, never mind that their point was a stupid one even if it had been worded properly at least 50% of the answers are about a single incident, the one and only time someone was inappropriate to them. obviously our goal should be zero harassment for everyone, but they can’t appreciate how privileged they are to have just a handful incidents…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 07:34 PM
52

and to any lurkers who want to say that I’m exaggerating when I say 100%, here’s my response: I said what I said, and I meant it too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 05:12 PM
138

the statistical fact is most men are raped by other men yes, that’s such a good point to make when we have this conversation, thank you! 💫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:53 PM
8

check out u/ebbie45 and her posts/comments, she’s an expert
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 02:27 AM
1

my jaw flew open, this is so crazy to me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:05 PM
6

would have tied himself to some train tracks if he thought it’d get him out of that hot seat!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:12 AM
1

did you know there’s a sub “for women reformed from fds”? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:02 AM
7

I first heard of fds from other redditors calling it female incels, I thought ‘I gotta see this!’ imagine my surprise when all I found were reasonable and well defended arguments I couldn’t critique, and a community whose advice for empowerment actually helped me feel empowered!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:50 AM
8

a work situation might also be a good place to employ “I wasn’t finished speaking” that way you get to make two points
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:34 AM
1

I bought a nice toy on amazon for like $40 that I’ve been really happy with, idk how the mods would feel about me posting a link, but I can pm it if you like
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:18 AM
118

40 of them! FORTY!! 40 crusty shirts and gallons of pee strewn around the room, piling up for years, but I bet he notices when she doesn’t wash the windows
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 06:13 AM
7

I was ready to laugh him off until I got to that line and changed my mind, now I think this guy is dangerous. you cut him off four years ago and he’s still so hung up on you that he’s sending paragraphs over and over? he thinks you owe him answers and that you got off easy? I don’t want to give you a panic attack, but I could very easily see him reacting poorly if you ignore him now too, what if he tries to show up at your work or something? I worry it’s not safe for you to just ignore him. you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:57 AM
17

he cried. all he had to do was cook rice and veg and it made him cry... ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:42 AM
106

at the very least she proves that she doesn’t believe dad’s home is safe for the daughter, and I’d be very concerned for the 8yo also
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:03 AM
5

I really want to believe it’s just a shit test, no pun intended 😉 I really hope there is no fetish and he’s just trying to see what she’ll put up with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 02:33 AM
13

it’s pretty case-specific, so I won’t get into the details, but there were some events a few weeks back that really amplified the conflict between us. he didn’t like that I wouldn’t talk to him about The Situation and has said I violated the order by refusing to talk to him. I think this is a deliberate attempt to irritate me into cutting off communication so he can prove his point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:03 PM
6

there’s so many details that I never thought to include in our original custody order, because to me they’re just common sense. like, he took a vacation to california a few weeks back and left the kids with a babysitter for four days, and I only found out when my two year old told me about it. I never thought to include “tell me if you’re not home with them and are instead leaving them for most of a week with someone I’ve never met, who doesn’t speak the same language i do and doesn’t have my nu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:55 PM
1

he’s not physically in my house. the post is about his behavior with facetime
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:44 PM
7

Since you DO have a protection order, it would make sense that you should be able to set firmer boundaries around digital communication. you would think so, right? but so far it’s been useless. I have multiple texts from him alleging that I commited some very serious crimes, and the judge has said he’s allowed to because it’s “about the kids” so somehow isn’t harassment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:41 PM
2

but the vast majority of comments are shaming the woman, ‘she knew what she was doing,’ ’she’s only mad he ghosted her’ anything to not blame him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 05:53 AM
4

best bet is to google it, I think it’s a few years old and the original has been deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 03:52 AM
8

I think you misunderstood my comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 10:49 PM
4

you do you of course, but I just couldn’t stomach remaining friends with a cheater, same way I wouldn’t remain friends with an abuser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:36 PM
8

you can see how deeply ingrained it is when you think of all the times you’ve seen women do this when there isn’t even a man around to witness what a Cool Girl they are Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:30 PM
3

block and delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:25 PM
7

exactly, the way she handles this is to cook the food she wants, then he can eat some of that, make his own meal, or go hungry/home. problem solved
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:57 PM
2

like my ex who complained that we only fought because I constantly said he treated me poorly, so if I would just stop saying that then we wouldn’t have anything to argue about anymore because he never complains about me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:41 PM
18

once you recognize the Cool Girl attitude you start to see it everywhere. we’re all well familiar by now with the ‘not like other girls’ girls, but the Cool Girl is just an extension of that and even more ubiquitous. I’m so embarrassed of how I fed into that, the ridiculous things I ‘consented’ to or laughed along with, even in this sub I’d be ashamed to tell some of these stories because my behavior was so disgusting fds has been a godsend for me, for the first time in my life I’m standing up f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 03:31 PM
22

op: we shouldn’t be uncritically catering to our worst urges all men: WhY?! temper tantrum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:16 PM
9

it’s hard to notice but that’s actually -$500, so that’s a problem. now, whether +$500 is good or bad is very relative, some people would be thrilled to see that much after paying their bills, others would be horrified. what should be a larger focus for you right now is setting aside money into a savings account that you contribute to weekly. $20 per week x 52 weeks per year = $1040
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:25 AM
8

fr at what point can we stop with the not all men bullshit?! when 75+% of men are useless as partners, fathers, and citizens when do we get to say “fuck it, yes all men”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:15 AM
13

I’ve seen lots of discussion on the sub of men who say they don’t like cats (maybe in the handbook too?) being a red flag, but I don’t recall much about men and dogs, and men are generally regarded as having a special affection for dogs, so I found it very interesting when I noticed this trend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:58 PM
39

🤮 wow, I hadn’t even thought of that. it’s better to know what we’re up against in this world, but I still wish I hadn’t read that edit: okay, so right now on the front page, a man has posted a video of his cat petting him back. they’re laying in bed and the cat is between his legs, when he pets the cat’s head the cat pets his thigh, the title uses the word ‘stroke’ rather than ‘pet’ and half the comments are about phRaSInG or otherwise sexual
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:46 PM
112

they’ll never get adopted if they don’t lower their standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:42 PM
37

if your wife can’t bear to even hug you, then you’re probably not the innocent little thing you try to make yourself out as
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:13 PM
14

the reddit search function is notoriously terrible, you’re better off using google and include reddit in the search
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:28 PM
58

oh for sure, I could make a whole post about how pathetic his attempt was, it’s simultaneously hilarious and infuriating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 05:00 AM
6

‘content creators’ very rarely make a living from anything they do on onlyfans, but people are profiting off of convincing girls and young women to prositute themselves and that’s fucked up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:49 AM
3

you can buy things like this online, they’re called a door brace or security bar/brace fyi they are definitely a hazard in a fire, not just for those trying to get in but for you trying to get out, so you’ll have to weight the pros and cons
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:44 AM
201

beautiful lightness oh, I like that!! my ex once asked me to take him back and when I said that my life was simpler and more pleasant without him, he tried to mock me for wanting an easy life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:31 AM
2

one of the reasons there has been such a huge spike in tiktoks that promote OF is because the descriptions include affiliate links, this means that they make money every time someone clicks the link and creates an account so i get the comparison to a pyramid scheme, but it also kinda feels like selling someone into the sex trade
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:46 AM
77

it was quite opportunistic I know that at first glance this might sound better than a planned attack, but it’s really just as bad. I mean, this guy just stumbled upon her while he was out working and attacked her without a single thought? his defense is that he wouldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been so convenient? how is that supposed to convince anyone that he shouldn’t be locked up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 04:47 AM
17

this is some next-level victim blaming, it’s really mind blowing. next we’ll be expected to preemptively fuck every man we cross paths with so they aren’t tempted to rape us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:15 AM
2

years ago I hung out at a friends house one night and her brother had some random chick over who obviously want to fuck him desperately. he had a girlfriend at the time but the girl was really keen and he straight up told her, in the living room in front of us, that they could have sex as long as she got on top and did all the work because he was too tired. so they went to his room and banged and she left right away, and he’s who I think of whenever a guy wants the girl to do it all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:37 AM
9

and it keeps rising 😍 what happened back on 27.10.2019 to get that huge spike?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:14 AM
19

I love the spirit of the bill, but I think there could have been a better comparison. like, maybe it could have said that every woman you ever sleep with gets to keep your sperm and have your baby without your say? people are too dense, they’ll just say “women aren’t forced to have a hysterectomy, so it’s not the same” and won’t consider it any further because their brain just can’t handle it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 07:32 PM
30

haha, do they say this for the whole year? do they not rent an apartment if the building is number 24? do hotels “have no 24th floor”? what if they were born in the 24th? where do they draw the line?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:45 PM
1

yeah, so the lawyer thing is a problem. I know I can’t afford one so I started with the non-profits first, but they seem to offer only advice and not representation, except for one that does represent but they work only with dv cases so they said no too. Then, just for kicks, I had a couple consults with some attorneys, who weirdly wanted tons of money for their expertise, go figure. And since I couldn’t convince any of them to take pity on me my case pro bono, that was a dead end too. I was rea…
/r/askFDS11/03/21 03:36 AM
3

I agree, there’s absolutely no way he masturbates 10 times a week and doesn’t watch porn, especially when you consider that no man is going to answer that question honestly. and maybe it’s too critical but his reasons for supposedly not watching are suspect too. I’d like a man to have a moral objection to porn, rather than be dissuaded by the extraordinarily selfish ‘oh no, my dick!’ aspect of it all. it’s kinda like saying you object to murder because you don’t like having to hear about it on t…
/r/askFDS11/03/21 01:11 AM
1

yup. men have such a weird obsession with virgins 🤢 I can imagine the lovebombing now! he’ll be even more desperate than usual to get into her pants, it seems like an unnecessary risk to disclose that
/r/askFDS11/03/21 12:37 AM
3

I’d like to agree that’s it’s just men, but I’ll have to direct you to this three day old post to explain why I can’t
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 03:20 PM
25

damn girl, I love it all 😍 tangentially, I’m taking back “basic” basic stuff is the stuff everyone has agreed is awesome, I’m not gonna feel bad about liking the things literally everyone likes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:55 AM
38

it’s acknowledged, everyone has just decided that an angry women is inherently flawed in an inexcusable way 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:49 AM
9

“Well, he treats you like garbage because YOU didn’t tell him not to!” read through these comments right here in fds and you’ll see the majority of them effectively say the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:01 PM
4

a couple weeks back the same mod banned me for a few days after calling out another stupid victim blaming comment of hers. I wish this behavior was forbidden, it’s so anti-fds I can’t understand how people reconcile saying those things and still claim they’re advocating for women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:58 PM
16

nah sis, I’m so fucking basic! basic is the shit! all the best things are basic and I’m owning it 😊 on a more serious note, I understand that it’s a touchy word because morons do use it to insult women for liking things that are known for being well-liked, as if there’s something wrong with that 🙄 but I’m going to make it a term of endearment, I’m taking it back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:23 PM
43

she’s mocking men for their shock and horror when they find they’ve broken their dick, or rather, they’ve broken their brain but all they care about is the dick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:12 PM
14

how basic would I be to hang this in my house? 😂 because I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:02 PM
50

the way men pounce on vulnerable women and girls is sickening, and you see it everywhere. two of my ex’s friends asked me out within weeks of us splitting up, and I had a six month old baby at the time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:43 PM
32

I agree, it’s so callous to suggest anyone wants to be treated poorly by theor spouse I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: if you don’t fault yourself for the way you behaved pre-fds, and you shouldn’t!, then how can you justify condemning other women for their own pre-fds actions? looks like a steaming pile of “not like other girls” bullshit to me, but we have a mod in these comments joining in on the Shame OP parade, literally calling women appliances because they’re not fds-aligned! w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:39 AM
154

this is why I come here to discuss anything meaningful, regardless of how off topic it might be, if I was that op and got those responses in a “women focused” sub my head would explode It’s bad enough when you have to live with a man like that, but when you complain about his shit and everyone else wants to say talk it out/give him the benefit of the doubt/go to counseling/maybe it’s actually your fault/etc it’s devastating. either you internalize the gaslighting, or you get rightfully pissed, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:43 AM
2

a trick is to ctrl + f search "hammer" while on her page. you know, I do that all the time when I use a desktop, but I always forget that’s a possibility on my phone too 🙃 thanks for the reminder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:28 AM
4

okay, call me a boomer, but how do you even use tiktok? like, how do I find her other posts about the same topic? I just have to scroll through her feed and cross my fingers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:22 AM
6

I genuinely wonder if any girl can make it to 18 without being abused, it feels like it’s just a matter of time and it’s devastating to think of my babies that way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:58 AM
30

“they’re not around anymore” most people won’t press the matter, and even if they do you just say it’s not something you like to discuss. sure, they’ll think your parents are dead, but you didn’t say that and idk about you but my parents are dead to me, so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:44 AM
8

people who “NEeD therAPy” need therapy because of abuse or trauma that someone else perpetrated against them, and you turn around and use that same victimization as a way to suggest that they are somehow a failure of a person. that is literally the definition of victim blaming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:40 PM
5

Both of them need counseling. you lose any chance at credibility when you say this like it’s an insult, there’s so much victim blaming in those words it’s not just something any decent person should ever say The ring she flashed was trash. ad hominem and trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:42 PM
8

we’re proud of you! 2021 is looking up 💐🧿🌈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 05:35 AM
162

how do you bully a child to save $2 on coffee and also call yourself alpha unironically?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:28 AM
1

I had two kids on that premise 🥲🔫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:47 AM
12

ever notice how only women can be “extra”? I wonder why that is... couldn’t it be that it’s just a way for society to shame women for expressing themselves? no, society would never do a thing like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:26 AM
62

tangentially, I always get a kick out of the dudes who get so butthurt about that “aah” sound megan likes to make, like even the tiniest indication that a woman is feeling herself and they boil over
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 12:01 AM
50

but mostly so they can look for who to subscribe to next
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:55 PM
74

or the teacher with the handmade mz frizzle dresses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:41 PM
30

yup, they’ll say “look at these women, they’d rather have a toy than a man!” but they’ll never consider why that’s true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:40 PM
3

You just have to lead the right way and we’ll follow you know what they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, and I’m gonna pass on that submission koolaid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 10:16 PM
25

if sex work is just work, then why don’t we hear this sentiment from women who have been in the trade for 10 or 20+ years? where are the career sex workers who believe this is a normal lifestyle and that it’s no more harmful than working in a kitchen? why is it that the people who extoll the virtues of sex work are either new to the community, or johns? why does it seem that when we do hear from lifelong prostitutes, their stories are nearly always ones of horrific abuse from early childhood wel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:59 PM
35

haha, I just had a ridiculous daydream about a man finding out he has an infection, and rushing home to yell “you whore” at his sex doll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:19 PM
27

that was exactly my thought: he’s describing a doll. his ideal partner is an inanimate object that requires nothing from him. incidentally, what is it you think he might have to offer a woman? 🤔 hmm, also nothing? what a surprise! I feel like there’s some kind of connection there, but I just can’t quite put it together 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:02 PM
26

the fully nude shot of her in this video was taken the same day the interview was recorded (in the picture she’s holding the same shirt she wears in the interview), so what order do you think it happened in: did he ask her to bare her soul and divulge all this trauma, then turn around and ask her to get naked? or did he have her get naked first, and only after he took what he wanted from her was he able to treat her like a real person with a whole life of experiences? because either order of eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 04:04 PM
26

and it’s hard to imagine that she wasn’t expected to contribute financially while she was living with her drug addict boyfriend. she wasn’t doing any real work, but she was on craigslist “looking for modeling gigs...” 💔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 06:00 AM
78

wait, you mean “it’s just a fantasy” isn’t actually true...? 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 05:25 AM
16

yup, the only reason for a man to be attracted to this kind of lifestyle is if he wants to be able to live two lives at the same time. his second life will either be with another partner, or pretending he doesn’t have a partner which means tons of random sex. I dare any of you to show me another option 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:45 AM
39

When I was 17 I used to run around seducing guys, then I’d blurt out “I’m actually 17” “As a gay, black man...” 💩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:26 AM
40

for comparison, divorce rates among the general us population are 15%, so men are noticeably more likely to leave their sick wife, but women basically never leave their sick husband. I mean, 3%?! ladies, stop sacrificing your life for other people! let his mama have him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:14 AM
6

you’re so right, the only reason for him to say no is control
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:21 AM
7

And media that depicts a “strong woman” almost always has her fighting to have a normal life while being weighed down by some familial drama: either an ill family member she is tasked with playing nursemaid to, or some generational trauma she will singlehandedly resolve against all odds. Yes, she is pitied, but she is deified also; the more adversity she overcomes, the harder she is, the more she “acts like a man”, the more she is admired. “Happily ever after” for her is a peaceful trad life wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 05:22 AM
5

I can’t wait until we get ubi, the current system is so fucked I have to work because I have bills, but I also have kids which means I need childcare, so working actually increases my expenses, which means I need to work more which increases my expenses, and I’m honestly tired of paying other people to take care of my kids when I’d much rather just do it myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:01 AM
28

As a mother of two, I really can’t recommend any woman have a baby with a man. The game changes so dramatically when you get pregnant/have a baby, I don’t think there’s any real way to vet for that. So before you have a baby, you better be prepared in every way to raise that kid entirely on your own, and if that’s where you’re at then what purpose does a man even serve? This story had so many similarities to my own, the abusive mil and useless sack of shit partner who can do nothing but say “why…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:45 AM
29

“HoW’S AnYoNe sUpPoSeD To kNoW WhAt’s oKaY AnD WhAt’s nOt aNyMoRe?” if that’s really how you feel then you don’t deserve to be a member of a civilized society
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:48 AM
10

because the courts are so prejudiced against men, don’t you know how unfair the system is?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:25 AM
3

I’ve seen this video about a dozen times but I always forget that line until it comes and i bust out some obnoxious BWAHAHAHA laugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:46 AM
4

I completely agree. It didn’t feel like “look at me teaching my daughter to have high standards” it felt a lot more like “see what a cool dad I am? My 8 year old says fuck, I’m not old!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:24 AM
4

I know it’s turned into a trope, but it’s been proven true time and time again: when a woman is wondering “should I leave him...?” or “did I do the right thing by leaving...?” the answer is always YES!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:04 PM
6

she is amazing, thank you for sharing this name
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:37 AM
7

Funnily enough it was my male psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bpd, meanwhile my female therapist said it’s more likely to be cptsd 🤷‍♀️. surprised pikachu face I’m shocked! No, wait, that’s not surprising at all 🙃 hope you’re doing well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:33 PM
10

I think labelling a young girl in distress as “borderline” was irresponsible and lazy. No need to say “I think” when you’re 100% right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:30 PM
11

If a person's condition improves when they are removed from a toxic situation, that says everything about this situation. You are so right. If you take people who suffer from BPD away from the people who make them suffer and they no longer have BPD, then they never did. I hate that the blame is put on a victim and their “personality”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:29 PM
9

Yes!! I should have said hysteria in the title instead of battered woman syndrome! Dang it :) I choose battered woman syndrome because I believe false BPD diagnoses should nearly always be attributed to abuse, and that name would fit very well if it wasn’t already taken. But comparing BPD to hysteria is a much more accurate parallel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:25 PM
7

I completely agree, my symptoms now, my symptoms two years ago, my symptoms 15 years ago: all textbook descriptions of cPTSD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:20 PM
12

This is why I don’t currently have a therapist: of the countless providers I’ve seen, I only ever really liked and had good relationships with 2 of them. All the rest, at best it felt like talking to a friend; it was a relief to talk about the problem, but they had no substantial advice or insights beyond what I would expect to hear from a friend either. It was so frustrating to have to sit for a hour listening to someone who worked for years to earn a degree, only to respond to me in the same w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:19 PM
3

wow, that was lovely, thanks for sharing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:13 AM
3

imagine mocking the idea that sex is an intimate act and still believing that your point is valid!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:36 AM
11

I completely understand! I assumed the use was innocuous and I don’t intend to criticize you, just criticize the word. your point about it being more socially acceptable to be attracted to teens is exactly why I believe it’s important to take that word out of use, and call it out when we see it used as a minimizer. even the word “teen” has taken on a perverted meaning since it’s become so synonymous with certain types of porn! people equate ‘teen’ with ‘adult’, when it should instead be equated …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:28 PM
2

lvm of all stripes pay for sex so true! most of these guys could easily meet a pickme for some casual sex, instead they are choosing to pay for sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 07:06 PM
3

If he buys the movie tickets, then I show up 😂🤣 so true!! here’s your gift: it’s my presence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:51 PM
3

I don’t expect a man to treat me like a queen because I treated him like a king I expect a man to treat me like a queen because I am a queen if he doesn’t recognize that, i’m not treating him like anything because that man doesn’t even exist in my world
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:03 PM
6

I hope she’s not having sex with him because they have a parent/child relationship!! teaching a grown man about hygiene, emotions, the fucking food pyramid?! girl, your man is a toddler!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:25 PM
1

cue the boomer-style cartoon about how a man’s favorite woman is one who doesn’t talk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:07 PM
7

it’s too late for us, but she can save others if she acts fast 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:55 PM
25

“viewing porn is different than posting it” they always want to move the goalposts as soon as it suits them, i’ve read exactly the same argument on reddit about buying/selling sex. the topic of the post was something like “the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done” and some guy posted about losing his virginity to a prostituted woman, how it was fun at first but now he regrets it because of the shame and he worries another woman could never love him if she knew about it. so. many! sympathetic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:44 PM
15

exactly. and if we ridicule the use of words like “sex worker” which people actually use that in good faith to show compassion to the women involved, then why should we entertain this word that is very definitely not used in good faith? i’d like to see the mods create a filter that adds an automod comment to any post that uses that word, same like they do with porn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:04 PM
97

I don’t want to sound like i’m attacking you here, I just have to say: I effing hate that word!!! I know many creeps fit the definition of hebophile more closely, but these guys aren’t concerned about using the most technically correct terminology, these men don’t even know the difference between a vagina and a labia. the reason they want to normalize use of this word is because they know how bad pedophile sounds and they want to distance themselves from that association; don’t let them!! langua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 01:13 PM
53

How kind of your bf to 'invite' you to this event with his cool girl female friend how much you wanna bet he tries to manipulate her into an open relationship and then offers to let her watch while he cheats with the coworker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:03 AM
11

a man who provides is much more likely to truly care for you than a man who doesn’t provide, but providing doesn’t equal caring, this is a myth men perpetuate to manipulate you into lowering your standards and accepting subpar treatment. providing for his partner is generally viewed as the bare minimum of what is expected of a man. will you be happy to settle for the bare minimum, or do you expect more from a man if you call him your partner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:57 AM
10

hansen: he’s anxious, he’s nervous, he’s got kind of a tic going on that dude was out of his mind high on coke!!! i’m surprised his heart didn’t explode, the way he was acting I thought for sure he was gonna od any second
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:45 AM
12

his time shouldn’t be spent trying to figure me out when he could just give me the cash so I could “ buy your own damn bags and roses” this has absolutely nothing to do with being romantic. a man who speaks to you this way doesn’t care for or respect you at all, and is honestly a danger to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:30 AM
42

He just doesn’t know how to show he cares without using cold hard cash that’s a man who isn’t mature enough for a relationship. he acts like an atm instead of a partner, it’s up you do to decide if that’s enough for you but it absolutely wouldn’t cut it for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:27 AM
51

it’s not that much different than watching porn so he’s also suggesting that he’d watch porn with his female coworker, and that you shouldn’t be bothered by that[](http://)?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:23 AM
16

happy valentine’s day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:14 AM
12

so true!! imagine telling a woman your grandmother’s age that men proudly and publicly flaunt their paraphilia as a way to attract women, and that doing so gets them positive female attention! she would be appalled (and rightfully so) because in her day, even in our mother’s day, that type of behavior would make you a social pariah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 01:43 AM
20

not op but no fuck no
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:41 PM
55

I will never again trust “it’s just a fantasy” a man who fantasizes about hurting a woman in any way is a danger to every woman, and we need society to stop denying that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:40 PM
75

he finds dating difficult because he can’t ask women back to his for sex. dating = sex to this man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:18 PM
12

that type of response has been programmed into all of us, it’s just more internalized misogyny. I don’t fault her at all that some part of her mind considered reacting poorly; the important thing is that she was able to keep her calm in the heat of the moment and manage her way through a very difficult situation while taking the high road. she didn’t let her emotions determine the outcome, and she acknowledges the fleeting nature of even very strong emotions. being a high value woman isn’t deter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 05:08 PM
27

it’s like they have no shame, otherwise they’d be horrified for people to know how pathetic they are. imagine if she handled his birthday the same way: zero early prep or even discussion, actually forgetting the event until late the night before when someone else reminds her, yells across the house at him for instructions while she focuses on zoom happy hour with the girls, then unceremoniously drops a croissant in his lap and pouts/gaslights about his reaction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:48 PM
1

I didn’t see it mentioned anywhere in the comments, what show is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:28 PM
7

our current schedule is set so that he has them on the days i work while I have them on my days off. if I have to pay for childcare on “his” days then I won’t be able to make rent which means i’ll have to choose if I want to lose my job or my apartment to cover for his negligence, and he’ll petition even if I don’t so we’ll end up in court anyway
/r/askFDS14/02/21 01:46 AM
13

omg, how is this the truest thing i’ve ever read?! 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:14 AM
17

I fully agree with this. write it, but don’t engage with him, it’ll only hurt you more. the thing is he almost certainly knows he assaulted you, but he’s already decided that he doesn’t care. i’m so sorry about that, you deserved so much better, especially for your first time, and he had no right to behave like he did. but if your desire is to force him to see and acknowledge the way he hurt you, to make him feel bad and regretful about it, to apologize, that’s probably asking way too much of su…
/r/askFDS28/01/21 05:17 PM
7

i think there are two possibilities about why she’s coming up suggested: 1, it’s an innocuous algorithm thing, maybe you’re still in her contacts, or maybe because you share a lot of mutual friends, etc, or 2, she has been creeping. after you block her she won’t be able to see your accounts, so if it’s option 2, then she would know, but if that’s what happening she has a ton of reason to be embarrassed and you have none. either way, you should do what makes you most happy and if they feel some t…
/r/askFDS25/01/21 12:36 PM
2

maybe find some women youtubers that catch your eye and try to identify what you like or admire about them. i dont really watch too much yt, but i’m thinking some ladies with fds themed channels or even a professional/makeup/mindfulness/etc focus. watch specifically for what makes them seem hv to you and what you could emulate to help you feel more confident and comfortable. I hope some other ladies could chime in with suggestions for you
/r/askFDS25/01/21 12:10 AM
59

it just took too long for my liking we still don’t live together and he didn’t plan dates him talking about the future means nothing, his actions are what matters most here. forgive me for being blunt, but if he wanted to live with you or marry you, he would have made those things happen, he had five years to get his shit together. he doesn’t want what you want
/r/askFDS24/01/21 11:59 PM
50

sometimes good people make bad partners sometimes people aren’t as good as you thought they were it’s very normal to cycle through all kinds of emotions when going through a breakup. you’ll have days when you want to cry constantly and are miserable. there will be days you’re ecstatic about all the options that have opened for you. sometimes you’ll be angry at him or yourself, you’ll miss the good times, or realize they weren’t really that good actually you should be proud of yourself, you did s…
/r/askFDS24/01/21 11:38 PM
11

I haven’t used ig in several years, but can’t you just block her on both accounts? that should keep her from showing up in your suggestions and stop her from creeping if that’s what’s happening
/r/askFDS24/01/21 11:29 PM
3

he puts up with my frequent yelling even though I know he has been hurt by it neither of you is prepared to be in a relationship
/r/askFDS24/01/21 09:33 PM
15

he very bluntly told you that he’s going to have sex with other women regardless I had planned to say more, but once I typed that out I thought what else is there to say
/r/askFDS24/01/21 09:28 PM
12

this is what abuse does, it seriously rots your brain. I even had an episode with my ex much like she describes in the article, where I took personal responsibility for 100% of the problems in our relationship and even expressed that i’d had the perfect life with him and ruined it because there was something fundamentally wrong with me, that he was so amazing for putting up with me and he’d done absolutely nothing wrong ever. for months after we split my brain was in such a fog that I genuinely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 09:07 PM
31

I Don't Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 08:09 PM
3

it’s a rental, same price 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:51 AM
8

if he’s got a manbun he’s guaranteed to be a fake woke self-proclaimed feminist who’s also poly and can’t see the irony in that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:47 AM
6

yes, that’s true too. I don’t know tons of female doctors personally, but the ones I have known have all been sucky in one way or another. it’s important to remember that not all women are safe simply because they’re a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:30 AM
9

my 2 year old knows you’re not properly clean until you’ve washed your butthole but this mf can’t wrap his brain around the concept 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:15 AM
5

how difficult it was to locate a guy who'd truly respect her boundaries, listen to her safe words, engage in aftercare, etc. ugh, i’m so sick of this bullshit they spew!! can we just agree as a society that having a desire to harm your partner is not fucking normal?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 01:44 AM
27

I have a pcp at the same office who i’ve been seeing for almost 10 years and I absolutely love her. she delivered my kids and she’s their pcp too now, but she teaches as well as practicing so it’s tough to get an appointment with her. I have to book weeks in advance to see her and I can’t wait that long this time 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 05:06 PM
378

I refused a doctor’s appointment with a male provider for the first time yesterday. the receptionist was very surprised that yes, I would rather wait an extra day to be seen by a woman. especially with the complaints I currently have because I know a man is going to dismiss me immediately
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:31 PM
28

lvp who only use condoms for pregnancy protection are already out there having unsafe sex with multiple partners, so I figure rates would stay about the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:27 PM
9

love isn’t enough sometimes so true, but such a bitter pill to swallow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 12:21 PM
20

and it’s not just children who are at risk. I was in my early 20s when I was groomed into a relationship with a much older man. it was all perfectly legal, and I was fully convinced that I loved this 60yo man and was actively choosing to be with him, I couldn’t admit to myself until years later how massively manipulated I was. side note and totally unrelated: he was a high school teacher and administrator for decades who was forced out of his job when it came out that he was watching porn at wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 10:01 PM
6

this article was one of the first search results I came up with and has some good info: https://yourdaye.com/vitals/womens-health/what-is-squirting-female-ejaculation the short answer is that no one really knows. the longer answer is that the fluid is possibly created by a gland similar to the prostate and fills the bladder before being expelled, which is why it is similar in some ways to urine. the reason I call it a tool of the patriarchy is because it’s used to shame women for natural bodily …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:30 PM
45

I’ve actively called out my alliance and Love for women publicly, particularly for lower income women of color. oh wow, i’m so shocked that he’s most attracted to some of the most vulnerable and fetishized women, that’s really surprising! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:44 PM
36

I baked 100 cookies and stood on the corner with a sign that said “free cookies!” can you believe that 100 people came by and took a cookie without paying me for it!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:36 PM
36

i’m in the same boat! for my first little bit here I was still doing some old even though I know it’s frowned on. the reason I left? I realized it had been weeks since i’d had a match because I wasn’t swiping right on anyone. I was passing on literally every single dude I saw because they all seem lv, or borderline at best! even in real life, i’m seeing guys I would have previously been attracted to and I can’t even think of them as handsome because all I can focus on is how they’re almost guara…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:02 PM
7

especially if he ever asked her for anal, he has no room to complain about a little squirt. besides, doesn’t everyone have a quick shower after sex anyways?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:54 PM
21

the idea that female ejaculation is the same as peeing is a myth propogated by a poorly performed study of a whopping seven women and is repeated ad nauseam in pop culture to shame women for enjoying sex. squirting in not peeing, and generally not related to childbirth. this myth is a product of the patriarchy and needs to die, most especially in this sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:46 PM
49

the patriarchy really has brainwashed these dudes and ruined their brains! can you imagine telling a partner that you don’t like sex with them because they enjoy it too much? and that the solution is for them to continue having sex with you, just as frequently and just as passionately, but they’re not allowed to orgasm unless you say it’s okay? the audacity is mind blowing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:38 PM
19

she looks about 16 and this is probably her first breakup, can we cut the kid some slack?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:11 AM
10

I thought part of FDS is also that we're supposed to look good... Like. I know if I'm home alone I don't wear makeup..and I'm in my sweatpants. But that's not how I'd go on a date the goal isn’t “to look good,” the goal is to present yourself the way you imagine a high value woman would, and you get to decide what that means for you. it could mean “I don’t leave the house in sweats (except sunday,)” or “I don’t want to be seen without a full face of makeup,” or “I won’t change into pajamas until…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 03:11 AM
58

yes, everything here, yes!!! it’s just a fantasy ... of sex with a child. you’re aroused by the idea of having sex with. a. child. explain to me how that’s just an innocent, normal kink rather than you admitting you’re a pedophile, make it make sense lol redditbros don’t like me saying this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 02:42 AM
11

and he says he wants to have a wife and kids, does he expect that he’ll just miraculously stop hating mothers once his wife becomes one? i’m honestly terrified for any woman who gets near him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:22 PM
6

we just started seeing each other (almost a year) can you clarify this for me, I wouldn’t classify a year of dating as “just started seeing each other” so I wonder if it could have been a typo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:44 PM
12

going back to u/myousername and her comment you have to willing to leave if he doesn’t want what you want in this sub it’s pretty widely believed that a man knows if he wants to marry you within six months in most cases, and he absolutely knows within a year, (fair warning: the end of this sentence is pretty harsh and I’m sorry about that but it’s my honest opinion and I dont think it does you any favors to sugarcoat it) so if he’s being evasive about the subject and it’s only a rhetorical conve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:39 PM
70

just because you are not married doesn’t mean you’re not committed to each other well this claim is easy to refute because it’s just factually wrong. a married couple is undeniably more committed than a nonmarried couple, that’s exactly the purpose of marriage it’s just a piece of paper you could say that about a diploma, but I still want my doctor to have one. and if you got a driver’s license or registered your car then I don’t want to hear about your moral objection to government overreach if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:11 AM
4

mods, could we maybe get a nsfw tag here? i was not prepared for that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:04 AM
91

you have to be willing to break up with him if he doesn’t want the same things as you this is the key, 1000%. I let my ex convince me that we didn’t need to actually get married, it was enough to call each other husband and wife and have kids etc etc, I told myself that marriage wasn’t really that important even though I very much wanted to be married, and that I’d rather be with him than be married, all that trite bullshit you’ll all be shocked, of course, to hear that my fake marriage ended sp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:01 AM
7

It’s not really about the money, it’s about what his willingness to spend the money shows you about his priorities
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:01 PM
99

And it’s a fucking promise ring for a 26 year old woman he’s already been with for six years!!! wth is he promising? “Someday, when I’ve exhausted all my other options, I’ll finally agree to marry you and then resent you for the rest of my life because I feel, entirely without cause, that I could have done better than you and that you always held me back even though I’d have accomplished nothing in life without your love and devotion. Someday, baby.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:44 PM
16

it’s amazing how the things we often do as women and partners without thinking twice are IMPOSSIBLE for men This is so true. You always see the woman making huge sacrifices for the kids, her husband, the family, but when the tables turn and now he has to step up? Bet he chickens out and bails
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:18 AM
128

So true!! A woman saying porn is exploitative and insidious would never have been given the platform he was, she would have been written off as some bitter spinster and laughed at for being too sensitive or prude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:57 PM
3

My friend It doesn’t even have to be that, “I read online...” gives you a lot more flexibility
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 08:41 AM
14

Thank you, I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 08:12 AM
52

omg that’s my post, I’m so flattered 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:17 AM
2

Yes! I don’t see the op as an endorsement of women being caretakers, rather as a warning to spiritual women to protect themselves. Of course the most draining men will be drawn to the most giving women, we need to be reminded of that so that we stay on guard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:07 AM
5

Thank you! I’m a huge fan of rose gold and this is just the right tone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 09:10 PM
6

Women who have been strangled by an intimate partner are at a massive risk of being killed by him, I’m terrified for her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:24 AM
204

I can’t decide which I like better: the ring or the nails!! They both look amazing 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:11 AM
3

But seriously, you can be a fully grown woman and still be traumatized by a sugar Daddy. So many people want to act like prostitution is no big deal for women, calling yourself a sugarbaby, sEx work IS WOrK and all that bullshit, like it’s supposed to just be so easy, it’s mind blowing to me that they can treat it so casually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:06 AM
2

Damn girl, I want to hear you tell more stories!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:20 AM
6

Dishwasher at macaroni grill
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:38 AM
14

The first incident is never really the first 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:28 AM
39

Man can’t buy his wife enough forks and still think he gets to demand the first plate full of food she cooked!! 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:30 AM
2

Okay, but all of that was said by a man who’s trying to convince you he’s not in the wrong, so you can believe it all if you want but there’s a real possibility that none of it’s true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 11:04 PM
14

I love the phrase trickle-truth, I’m a big fan of alliteration 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 09:37 PM
7

Teaching her kid too... ☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 09:33 PM
3

May even just be the kerning making it look like there’s no space, look how far away the period is from the l in proposal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 09:19 PM
34

It comes from porn. It’s scientifically proven that porn users become addicted to the variety and need to constantly alter the type and severity of what they watch, which ultimately leads to doing the same with actual sex because they broke their damn brain. Normal sex is insultingly called vanilla and painted as too boring because they literally can’t get off by having sex like a normal person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 06:27 AM
2

Okay, but can we have some more info because this is the first I heard of anything to this effect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:58 AM
4

You realize moving costs money, right? First month’s rent, last month’s rent, two months rent for a security deposit, and then you need to either pay a moving company, or eat the cost of transport/lost wages when you do it yourself. Never mind the logistics of finding housing and a job in a town that you don’t live in while you work 65 hours a week at three different jobs and commute through nyc which everyone knows is quick and easy, right? If she’s barely able to pay her bills each month, or m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:53 AM
5

If I could go back I’d wait longer. I was the last of my friends group to lose my virginity, so I was eager to be done with it and just more on (even though I was only 19 which I realize now is so fricking young), but it was honestly the worst sex I have ever had, like, soooooo embarrassingly bad. Absolutely was not worth it and I should have cut that dude off way sooner. I’m not necessarily someone who thinks you should wait until marriage, or that it has to be, like, disney-magical, but I defi…
/r/askFDS20/12/20 06:07 AM
3

If she caves it’ll be because she’s so empathetic that she can’t help but imagine stepson as her own child, and wouldn’t she do anything she could for her child? It’s a shame that she can’t see that her husband would never give her child $30,000(!!!! jc that’s more than a lot of people make in an entire year) for rehab if the situation was reversed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:46 AM
10

It’s also important to consider that men tend to commit suicide more impulsively than women. Men who die by their own hand frequently do so nearly immediately after a triggering event, and often times have not had long term issues with their mental health, whereas women who attempt mostly have had ongoing struggles in regards to mental illness or wait extended periods after a trigger. Another reason to disregard the “men’s mental health should be a bigger priority than women’s” and the “women ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:17 AM
2

I had an incident like this just last week at work. A male customer complaining about an employee at one of our other locations; even in his telling of the story his only complaint is that she made a(n obvious) joke. The woman he was talking about is young, successful, and black, and I knew right from the bat what his real problem with her was, but my male manager later said that he didn’t catch on until the customer made a comment to the effect of “it’s like watching circus monkeys every time I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:02 AM
11

Maybe sis sees something she doesn’t This post makes way more sense if you assume that the girlfriend is leaving out some seriously pertinent information. It sounds like a slightly veiled way to say “we don’t want your boyfriend specifically alone with the baby”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:53 AM
8

I definitely thought of Aileen. Many of the most well known/prolific female serial killers were only active with a male partner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:25 AM
11

idk, to my eye he looks pretty pleased with himself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:51 AM
12

Employees leave when their contributions aren’t recognized and appreciated by their employer. I hope she leaves too, and finds someone who wants a partner instead of an employee
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:47 AM
16

It looks like being not white
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 01:19 AM
18

The pressure on women to "forgive," "give it a chance," "try harder," and "lower your standards" is insane. Also, the pressure to not breakup unless someone else agrees that your reasoning is good enough. Wanting to end a relationship is the only reason you need to end a relationship!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:04 AM
14

Dudes have a profile like this and then cry that men never get matches when OLD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 12:33 AM
2

Wait, isn’t this her voice? This must be the first time she’s ever said anything I agree with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:55 AM
6

And you have to hope that neglecting her was the worst thing he did, how tragic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:17 PM
6

I’ve been applying for retail jobs for weeks because I’ve wanted to leave the second job (restaurant) for a while now, but I’ve had no luck so far. Usually I don’t even get an interview because they have 100s-1000s of applicants for each position. When I do get one, it’s always cut short and they tell me they’re not interested because my availability is so specific and rigid. I’m definitely not excited to be pursuing this type of work, I just don’t know what else to do and I’m feeling so despera…
/r/askFDS09/12/20 09:56 PM
6

https://i.imgur.com/82uPYop.jpg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:26 PM
23

he can just go get something to eat You mean prepare his own food?!?! Blasphemy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 07:15 PM
11

Looks like it’s designed for muslim users, but I always thought that word was a slur
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:17 AM
22

Don’t forget to tell her how she needs immediate and extreme therapy, maybe even institutional care, because she’s so clearly unwell and her judgment can’t be trusted in any regard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:01 AM
68

The one decent thing in the whole place, and you know his ex bought it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:40 AM
139

Then when he comes home he better bring food and not argue
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:37 AM
15

Normally I like rollercoasters, but not this one 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 12:03 AM
2

Ah, okay! I thought you meant just initials, like A B C, but you’re talking about something more like Sam short for Samantha. Not as bad as I thought, I just have a sore spot regarding names because of a very embarrassing situation caused by my last ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:47 PM
1

I know it’s easy to feel “it wasn’t a big enough deal to break up over” but he very clearly disrespected you to your face, and then he laughed about it. He told you he doesn’t respect you as a partner. He told you he’s not sexually satisfied with this relationship. He told you he thinks it’s funny to say hurtful things, to insult you and the relationship you share. I don’t see how you can move on from these things and ever feel secure in the relationship again. How will you feel next time you sl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:33 PM
13

He doesn’t know your name? Sorry doll, that’s a man who doesn’t care about you at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:18 PM
5

I agree it’s too soon and makes me think kinda poorly of him. Introducing friends is something you do with a girlfriend, not a woman you’ve only had two dates with. A friend’s party is not a proper date and sets a very casual tone for the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:09 PM
2

I can only stomach this by convincing myself that the other woman actually hates bald men and only told him she likes them so he would do something stupid and out himself to his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:02 PM
136

There’s literally a picture on the clip that shows where it should be positioned. Why doesn’t he know how to belt his child properly without having to be “nagged” to do it correctly? Mothers spend their entire pregnancy learning everything they can to keep their child as safe as possible, and this dad can’t follow directions that don’t even require reading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:35 PM
30

They do realize, and that’s why they do it. Their intent is to brainwash you into believing that you’re not entitled to being treated decently, and that expecting to be treated well is unreasonable and unrealistic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:09 PM
39

It’s so gross. This magazine is marketed to and intended for children, and they’re romanticizing sexual and emotional dysfunction. I’m all for talking to teens about sex, but this is not it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 12:40 AM
1

I say, keep it short and to the point, but send her what you have. What she chooses to do with it is up to her, but at least you can put him fully behind you and finally move on without a guilty conscience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:49 AM
18

You’re thinking about the wrong thing. It doesn’t matter why he lied, what matters is that he did. He thinks it’s okay to lie to you, and that should be a dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 05:07 AM
119

Age gap relationships are a cesspool of dysfunction, avoid avoid avoid!! 🚨🚨🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:39 AM
8

It was a shitty thing for him to do even without the ptsd factor, why would you say something like that to the person you claim to love?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:04 AM
63

“and did some things” like that’s not ominous as hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:32 PM
7

It’s not just the “caretaker” who is codependent, both parties in the relationship are codependent. The reason you see the pattern you see is because it’s almost always the woman who is the “caretaker” and the discussion focuses on codependency because that’s usually the biggest issue in her life, whereas the other party has some other primary issue (frequently addiction) that they’re dealing with and codependency takes a backseat to that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:33 AM
1

This was beautifully written, and a lovely story ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:36 AM
8

I can see it now: he’s on the exam table in his tightie-whities, kicking his feet and picking his nose, while the doctor explains that, even though he’s physically healthy, his brain is as smooth and small as a marble and she needs to throw the whole failed thing in the trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:09 AM
8

Of course, I never suggested that it was acceptable, I just clarified that she didn’t need to fear for her life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 12:38 AM
10

It’s actually more dangerous for the fetus than the mother, and easily resolved with a simple shot :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 11:46 PM
23

Imagine you’re in a room with a dog. You yell at the dog and intimidate it. You chase it around and back it into a corner. You pinch it and poke it and smack it. Eventually the dog attacks and bites you. Is it the dogs fault? Is the dog mean and inherently dangerous? Or did the dog only behave this way because of how you treated it? When you’re abused and backed into a corner, you might react in ways that embarrass you and make you feel shame, and frequently the people who drove you to those rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:10 AM
3

A family history of autism is not “bad genes” and you should be embarrassed and ashamed to have said something so stupid and insensitive. OP is out here asking for support after this incident that obviously hurt her deeply, and your response is “well he’s right you know lol”? tf is wrong with you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:56 AM
2

You have to remember that what happened is his failing, not your own. It’s so easy to internalize bad things, to think “this is my fault”. But you didn’t do anything wrong here, your sister didn’t do anything wrong; he was wrong and ignorant to believe such a stupid thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:54 AM
19

Homemade gifts are awesome... when they’re within your abilities. You know he used boxed mix and canned frosting, and he couldn’t even do that right! Instead of buying her a proper cake, or even making a normal layer cake, he somehow managed to make her birthday all about him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:25 AM
166

omg it’s infuriating!!! My ex and I have 50/50 custody, which makes me a bitch who doesn’t even take care of her kids, and makes him the most devoted and loving parent in the history of the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 01:41 AM
9

Second line of the second paragraph
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:01 PM
51

I’m in a really bad spot right now, mentally and financially, and I have no support system at all. Literally no one. I really wish I had a mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:24 PM
22

He’s probably still living with her, they’re probably not broken up, and the story about the parent’s house is an excuse to always go to the woman’s place rather than his
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:54 AM
4

Does anyone else notice how the insta girl looks like she’d rather be anywhere else? She has her arms crossed with her purse between them and she’s trying so hard to pull away in the second picture that she’s about to fall on her ass. Looks to me like she wasn’t particularly interested in any of it but she’s so young she probably didn’t feel comfortable rejecting him outright
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:33 AM
4

It’s so weird even trying to be friends with someone when you know they’re in love with you. their porn-addled, wrinkle-free brain is corrupting every interaction with you to the point they can’t even hear what you’re saying*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:17 AM
2

It’s sad to say, but even if it’s just the pastor and his wife in the house, that’s probably still enough for the police to say they can’t pursue it. You’d think they could get time stamps and be able to narrow it down that way, but anything that gives them an excuse to not arrest a “holy” man is just fine by them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:25 PM
96

So true!! There’s only two possibilities if all his ex’s are crazy He pursued and chose to have relationships with crazy women. If this is true, this man is dangerously unstable. They became crazy at some point in the relationship. If this is true, the only common denominator is him and his actions drove them “crazy”, and this man is dangerously unstable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:05 PM
89

Him: “I’m bored if you’re not there” Her: “I’m bored because I’m there” Him: “I don’t see a problem”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:00 PM
6

Men are more horrified at being thought a bad person than actually being one. Yes, absolutely what they’re really scared of is people finding out that they’re a bad person. They don’t care about being a bad person, they only care if other people know they’re a bad person. They’re happy as long as they can keep it quiet, that’s why they react so strongly when a relationship ends; a man who beats his wife doesn’t feel bad about beating her, he only cares that she doesn’t tell people about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:52 PM
5

Yes, triangulation presents itself in many different ways. It could be talking about an ex, even if it’s negatively. It could be telling you how his mom is the most amazing cook. I would say the main factor is putting you in a position where you feel the need to compete with/compare yourself to another woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:45 PM
20

I love when people say “it’s all in your head” as if that completely negates the problem. Depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD, etc are all “in your head” but they’re still very real, very serious issues that can dictate you life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 02:39 PM
44

I agree that being their spouse, sister or daughter definitely humanizes a woman to a man, but even then you’re mostly still an object to them and all they really see is how you can serve them. Another FDSer made a great comment the other day: u/royaldetour said Women are just objects to service them and gain the approval of other men they so desperately desire. and that really resonated with me. For example my ex, who desperately wanted to have a wife and children, but behind that was zero desi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 12:44 AM
9

That she said he “put her on the spot” makes me think that he didn’t send flowers, but he delivered them to her work. Also the fact that no flower shop is going to deliver when you ordered a $4 bouquet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:50 AM
11

I especially love the one who decided she’s a ho 🤨 and because he forced her block him with his creepy bs means she hiding something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:47 AM
8

You mean you don’t want a “bouquet” that’s 75% baby’s breath?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:44 AM
8

About the talking phase: I definitely agree that it shouldn’t go on forever, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable accepting a date with a man I’ve only been talking to for a day or two. It doesn’t help that I’m the type to not read/respond to a text for hours, or even most of a day sometimes. How can you get a good sense of him in such a short time frame?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:27 PM
63

Wow, I can’t wait to see this!!! That creepy instrumental Toxic was amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:06 AM
7

Men do all the things they criticize women for, to an extreme! Here are just a few of the men I encounter on OLD: https://i.imgur.com/YR4QONS.jpg https://i.imgur.com/YEdRnvp.jpg https://i.imgur.com/mqqNlOq.jpg And soooo many men edit their pictures with crazy filters and bs, but love to talk shit about the women who do the exact same thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:47 AM
6

I’m proud of you 💕 This shit is tough, and society feeds you all kinds of bullshit, but I know you’re strong enough to power through and come out better for it! We just need to keep helping each other as we make our way forward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:36 AM
22

You just described my ex so perfectly it made me gag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 03:22 AM
1

Talk to your pcp, they can recommend a lot of resources you wouldn’t have considered. Also psychologytoday .com has a tool to help you find a therapist in your area, and it’s quite good. You can sort by your insurance, specific issues or therapy types, and sex to help you find a female provider. Sending love your way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:17 PM
3

So true! “I can get sex anywhere” clearly shows that the man is LV since he believes that sex is all a woman has to offer. So you don’t need a rebuttal, we all know arguing with a LVM is a waste of our precious time and energy, you just need to end the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:07 PM
3

Maybe you can Pavlov yourself :) find a song that will help you snap out of that mode, and then listen to it on your way home from work each day to help you transition
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:02 PM
13

Also a door brace!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:00 PM
14

A vibrator is much safer. Yes!!! Either you have to bring him into your home and now he knows where you live, or you go to his and who the hell knows what he’ll try once you’re there? It’s just not worth it
/r/askFDS18/10/20 10:51 PM
17

This is so incredibly sad. That baby is so young and he would prefer to spend ten minutes setting up this stupid scheme rather than spend ten minutes bonding with his own child!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:26 PM
3

I’d caution against this curiosity because to me it still indicates an emotional investment on your end. By asking you to pay on a date he’s told you that he’s not that into you, so absolutely nothing else after that matters. I think if you were being fully honest with yourself you’d see that you gave him so much time because you wanted the validation of him asking you out again, even if you intended to decline. Maybe I’m off base, but it’s a thought worth considering. All of this is said with l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:25 PM
6

I understand the disappointment, I’m sorry if my comment was flippant 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:50 AM
5

So what if he canceled? Take yourself out for a date!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:15 AM
3

“nO feLonIEs!” Oh, so just misdemeanors then? cuz that DUI is a deal-breaker for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:11 AM
7

You pay your share, then excuse yourself to the restroom where you delete and block immediately. Some ladies here will advocate for a response that encourages him to pay (a light-hearted “oh, I thought this was a date?”, etc.) but that’s not my style, I’d rather just be done with him, he’s already shown his hand. And there’s no reason to give him a whole entire week to reach out, most especially after you’ve already paid on a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:59 AM
16

I dealt with something similar when I had my first kid. I can name five former “friends” who haven’t spoken a single word to me since the day my daughter was born, and they all said the same thing; they were sooo happy for me and couldn’t wait to see me and meet my baby. That was over three years ago, and I’ve made exactly zero friends since.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:51 AM
22

Never mind that women frequently chose gyms specifically because exercising in public is dangerous for them because of shitass men who would harass or harm them just for running out in the open
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:19 AM
1

Let’s see it girl!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:35 AM
1

It makes me feel so powerful and fabulous to have a fresh manicure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:35 AM
1

I highly recommend the brand! Not only are the colors stunning, the formula is smooth as silk and surprisingly durable. I can’t even bring myself to buy other brands after getting hooked on ILNP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:33 AM
4

You mean the company that this color came from? 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:56 AM
7

A picture can’t do it justice, everything by this brand is simply stunning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:01 AM
10

Color is Interstellar by I Love Nail Polish
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:20 AM
5

I thought my use of the word “imply” clearly acknowledged that you didn’t use the word “crazy” but, rather, that it was implied. The whole suggestion of this post is that men should be embarrassed by their need for mental health treatment, which feeds into their habit of doing the same to women and negatively impacts their willingness to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:07 PM
18

The only dude whose car I want to get into 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:06 PM
42

And now that he’s been “talked out of it” he’s settled on tormenting her by refusing to respond when she asks about his intentions. This dude is a complete psychopath
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:03 PM
3

I think Harry is an incredibly rare exception, and he seems completely dedicated to her and their relationship. I don’t follow the story closely, and so only know a small portion of the publicly available info, but he’s made serious moves to distance himself from the royal family in an effort to protect the both of them and her specifically. Most guys aren’t going to make those kinds of efforts, they’ll do what Chris did: weakly tell his wife that he sides with her and he’ll talk to his family, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:05 AM
3

Oh yeah, it definitely is, look how perfectly circular it is!! But he brought out the rolling pin to pose with 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:51 PM
10

Equal parts funny and sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 06:07 AM
87

I know exactly what you mean. It took me a long time to realize and accept that my ex never had any interest in having or being a partner, he only wanted a mommy-wife to give him babies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:07 AM
10

Who is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:01 AM
45

Yeah, I honestly don’t believe this. It’s been 9 months and this is the first time since the “engagement” that the wedding has been discussed? She’s looking at dresses but they haven’t set a date? There was no engagement party, or telling friends, or literally any other talk about the supposed wedding? Nah, this is a troll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:49 AM
13

Yes, I completely agree he’s building up to something, and he also knows exactly how inappropriate he’s being. OP should read up on the “dumb fox” method, and practice how to answer these pervy questions without really answering, but more than anything she needs to avoid him at all costs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:41 AM
5

Wait, am I doing something wrong? I always close the curtain when I’m done because it won’t dry properly if it’s all folded on itself. The opening at the top, plus the exhaust fan if it’s extra humid, allows enough airflow for the shower to dry. It never gets mildew, but of course I regularly clean with bleach anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:29 AM
3

He is a truly despicable, evil being. The way he tortured those poor girls in their last hours is nauseating, and then he blamed Shanann and fake-cried in the most obvious cover-up attempt in the history of the world! The only “good” to come out of this is that he was caught so quickly and they were able to recover the bodies. I think it’s very telling that his father had so little reaction to his confession; of course the police would have prepped him for what was coming, but even still.... I b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:53 PM
106

There’s definitely something pumping through his veins making him act like that, but I doubt it’s testosterone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:20 PM
3

Or that it will put you through hell and still might not work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:06 AM
7

And their mother 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:03 AM
8

If he's not willing to have a co-worker that he respects see what he presents to the person he wants to love, respect, and spend his life with, then he is not a boyfriend or husband that you want. Fact! Women need to start treating romantic relationships more like professional relationships. He wouldn’t disrespect his boss by showing up 15 minutes late without calling, he shouldn’t disrespect you in that way either!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:51 AM
6

Alright, ima chime in here with some seriously embarrassing shit from my past that I basically never talk about because, a decade later, it still makes me sick to my stomach to think about. I got pregnant at 19 by a 20yo who had at least 5 children with 4 other women. Days after we met, he left his girlfriend who was 9 months pregnant with twins, and then later brought me with him when he went to the hospital to meet his children; he told me we were visiting his cousin. I didn’t know about any o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:36 AM
9

Yes, tons. When we met they lived on different continents and spoke very frequently, hour long phone calls once a week, and he took her on 2 week vacations at least once a year. In the end she lived with us for years, and took over as his wife when I left edit: I might have misinterpreted your question and originally answered about their relationship as he’s been an adult. When he was younger he spent very little time living with his mother, basically only as an infant, and then for very brief p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:54 PM
11

I think the men that would choose their wives over their mother are the exception, not the rule. I mean, Prince Harry did, but as far as real life men I know, they always always always side with their mother, and put the burden entirely onto their wife to “make it work”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:51 PM
4

‘Fake it ‘til you make it’ all the way!!!! Women are wonderful actors; usually we act like LV bullshit doesn’t effect us and we’re great at it! But we can use this to our advantage as well, we can act like the amazing HVW we want to be, and eventually, with enough practice, we will be that HVW and won’t have to act anymore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:54 AM
5

I feel this so much! When I look back, it was clear from soooo early on that he would never be the partner I wanted him to be, plus all the humiliating bullshit he put me through, and I stuck around for.fucking.ever. And had kids with him? Intentionaly?! wtf was I thinking?! So embarrassing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:35 AM
9

“Fuck buddy”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:15 AM
47

Fucking UGGHH!!! My ex somehow disliked and also idealized his mother? He had this idea of her as “a single mom raising 3 kids all on her own” and if she could do that then how could I have PPD? Never mind that he and his siblings were all raised by extended family hundreds of miles from mom until they were 10+ years old, at which point they were shipped off to boarding schools where they lived even during summer vacations until they went off to college and then never went back home. But, yeah, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:07 AM
73

My biggest take-away from this sad, sad story is to never let the fear of missing out bring you down or lower your standards. We’ve all felt the FOMO, and it sucks balls when you’re in it, but it invariably involves you comparing your real life to a fabricated life other people present on social media. I’m sure there are tons of women who followed Shanann and seriously envied her life, because they had no idea what it was really like, how sad and lonely it must have been for her. Secondly, no ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 04:47 AM
4

Yes!! Gotta test him and make sure he really can do what he’s told, right? Let him pay a few bills and then 👻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 06:58 PM
13

I don't think being nicer could have saved Shannan. She had sex with him that morning, and he turned around and killed her almost immediately after. He’d been planning it for weeks and it had nothing to do with any of her actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 06:16 PM
3

Is there somewhere I can find fds themed phone screens? You ladies are always posting great quotes and mantras, I want to see this stuff all day long
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:23 PM
9

The twins are 16, only 8 years younger than her. She says he’s known about them for 6 years, but “didn’t find out about them” until they were 10 🤐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 04:39 PM
10

Maybe you could say sex worker instead of calling her a whore, that’s very low value language and should be beneath you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 05:16 PM
61

You just have to appreciate it as art instead of food 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:01 PM
4

I once had a dude tell me that he couldn’t wait to meet my kids, within the first 5-10 messages we’d exchanged 🤢🤮 haven’t been back to tinder since
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 07:40 AM
27

To be fair, I’d also be astonished if he knew which cabinet held the bowls. Or cereal. Or where they keep the milk, or spoons....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:39 AM
44

And it didn’t occur to him to look at the size of something she’s currently wearing? No, the only option is to wait for mom to come save the day 😩 How can a person be so oblivious?! And this is apparently so much better than his usual behavior that it sticks out as an amazing day worth remembering and bragging about to strangers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:15 AM
78

She calls this one of her favorite memories, and all the comments agree that the dad is amazing. How pathetically sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 11:39 PM
2

Absolutely not too harsh! It was super inappropriate for him to ask you for money, and the specificity of $20-46 immediately made me think he’s an addict trying to get a fix. Next thing you know he’ll be asking for a couch to sleep on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:08 AM
4

Speaking from experience, any negative behavior you see that you write off as “well he doesn’t treat me that way” will eventually be directed at you as well, better to get off that ride as early as possible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:43 AM
23

You need to stop speaking to this man, completely and immediately. You opened up about trauma and abuse you suffered, and his only concern was for himself. I’m sorry if this hurts to hear or I sound like I’m being cruel, but you need to hear this and accept that it’s the absolute truth: HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 06:45 AM
13

We can all sympathize with what you’re feeling right now. We’ve all subjected ourselves to situations that were below us, and we’ve all paid the price in one way or another. You’re not alone. And it’s not all bad either; knowing that you made a mistake is the first step toward fixing it, accepting that your actions contributed to your misery is integral if you intend to make better choices in the future. But, this doesn’t mean that it’s your fault! Your responsibility for this situation begins a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:54 AM
18

When I’m in a happy relationship, I literally cannot become attracted to another man. Sure, I can recognize and appreciate attractive people, but I have never ever had a crush while I was in love with someone else. It’s only ever been during relationships that were well past their expiration date that I have ever felt myself becoming attracted to someone else, and even then, I’ve never felt that it was so overwhelming that I couldn’t handle being near them. The audacity of this pathetic, subhuma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:19 AM
44

My favorite was “what did she do to make this happen? I’m not saying it’s her fault, but obviously it’s her fault” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 06:05 AM
3

My ex refused to use toys on me because he felt it was emasculating The same man once pulled out his phone to watch porn WHILE I WAS SUCKING HIS DICK, tried very hard to gaslight me about what he was doing, pretended he couldn’t understand why I was upset, and then threw a hissy fit when I wouldn’t finish because “I put it away, now you’re just being a bitch”. Oh, and I had my period, so there was of course zero reciprocation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:51 AM
6

Right?! The man she defends most is TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS behind on child support!!! Child support is determined as a percentage of your income, there’s no legitimate reason for him to not pay it! And then she defends the actions of a grownass man by telling us how her three year old behaves the same way, because somehow it’s not reasonable to expect a fucking adult to act differently than a toddler! This woman is straight up insane, and she’s raising a daughter with this mentality 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:25 AM
12

Any woman who makes any request from a man = “high maintenance”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:19 PM
7

I use reddit almost exclusively through the app narwhal, and I only know how to block subs that way. From a quick google search it seems like the only way to block subs on the website is with a premium subscription. In the narwhal app: navigate to a sub’s front page scroll up above the posts and select “options” select “add (sub name) filter” That’s it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:27 PM
28

I think that’s a really cruel and inconsiderate mindset to have. 99% of FDS users are reformed pickmes, most likely you are as well. Are you suggesting that every single one of us deserved the disrespect and terrible treatment we experienced? This is textbook victim-blaming. We’re pro-women here and this kind of stuff doesn’t belong on this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:21 AM
11

Yup! The person he is when he’s with you is not the real him, it’s only an act he puts on. Soon enough the mask will fall and he’s hoping to have roped you in enough at that point that you’ll stick around thinking it’s just a phase, wondering what happened to the great man you used to know. TLDR: RUN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:31 AM
38

That sub is the worst. I had a very similar experience with it several years ago: I posted about an upsetting situation hoping for support and was instead told I was lying, asking for it, misinterpreting the situation, overreacting, and humble-bragging, all within minutes. I actually have it blocked now because everything there pisses me off. Sorry you had to deal with the same, shit like that can be just as stressful as the original problem. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:18 AM
6

Imagine what the tub water looked like 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:00 AM
2

And the username is “I am so much better than you”.... no way that’s not a troll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:47 AM
7

She’s 18 but acts like 13, the man is a straight up pedophile! I’m literally nauseous after watching that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:33 AM
21

"I'M NOT FRIENDLY!" Love!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 06:29 AM
7

Yes!! Men love to brag about doing the bare minimum. My ex once went on about how could I be unhappy with the relationship when he doesn’t cheat, doesn’t hit me, and pays the bills. That was it, that’s all he could say he did for me, not beat me. And I was so brainwashed I really felt bad for being mad at him!! Just because you’re not a monster doesn’t mean you’re an amazing person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:34 AM
10

I would be careful around a man who seems so intent to lock you down with a baby when he’s not even talking about marriage. Sounds a bit like he’s trying to ”trap” you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:08 AM
22

noT aLl MEn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:26 AM
59

Or an arrest record Or both
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:39 AM
1

No idea about when court will be, I only filed the petition Monday. It’s actually even more fucked up than it seems; he only took the keys and the car is still parked outside my door because he has no use for it. Try explaining to a 2 yo why you can’t use the car right in front of them. We didn’t uber because I’m super fucking broke, which is the only reason we had the conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:54 PM
8

Nice work, I’m glad you chose yourself! It’s so sad that we’ve been conditioned to feel like we’d be too needy to want a man who wants to speak to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:53 AM
11

Yes! Being “basic” is the best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:47 AM
1

I’d love to be able to comment! And maybe be upgraded to apprentice...? 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:43 AM
9

Thank you dear, I really appreciate your comment. I don’t have anyone to talk about this with in real life, so it helps to come to this community where I can vent when I need to and know that I’ll be heard. I’m trying to not focus so much on him and instead work towards solutions, but honestly, this really fucks me over for now. Until the court date rolls around at least, and he’s the one fucked 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:14 AM
32

Yesterday, after being separated for more than a year and a half, I finally asked my ex for child support. He threw a hissy fit, called me crazy, and said I was extorting him. Then he came by and took the car I’ve been driving (purchased while we were together, title is in his name but it was always “my car”, and I’ve been bearing all car related expenses while driving it). He wants so desperately to hurt me that he doesn’t care that he’s hurting his own kids in the process. They cried today whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 04:43 AM
7

Why is her breathing so freaking loud?! I could hardly focus on anything she said, it was so distracting!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:34 AM
7

Fifteen years before his confession to eating parts of Tammy Jo Blanton, Oberhansley gunned down his 17-year-old girlfriend in a meth-fueled jealous rage [five days after their son was born]. He shot his own mother in the back, fired at his sister [while she fled with the baby], then tucked his gun under his chin and pulled the trigger. A psychiatrist would write he'd given himself a "partial lobotomy." https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/crime/2014/09/20/accused-cannibal-fell-legal-crack…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:24 AM
11

The sad part is that if you asked those dudes these questions, they’d answer as if they’re the perfect partner and things are completely equitable, and they’ll believe it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:24 AM
7

Ugh, I went through this too. From the outside my ex looks like an amazing man, and to his friends and family he is, but he treated me like absolute shit for years and then walked out when the damage he inflicted on me made me undesirable to him, and years later still blames me entirely for the failure of the relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:53 AM
2

Haha, this one is my favorite so far!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:25 AM
1

Haha, seems about right :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:32 PM
7

It’s on hulu, or at least it was few months ago
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:05 PM
1

Ladies, can you help me translate “I’m not super picky”? I just noticed that from a guy I matched with the other day, makes me feel weird but I can’t put my finger on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:03 PM
8

Yeah, unmuting that video was a very bad idea
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:16 AM
4

I wasn’t even going to engage with her until she decided to comment in my thread. She’s the only one convinced that 18 year olds aren’t children, but she’s over here throwing a hissy fit, certainly showing off her exceptional maturity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 04:30 AM
3

https://giphy.com/gifs/memecandy-f742Jfmyvn0zWES04Y
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:34 PM
7

Reading through your comments on this post gives the impression that you feel personally insulted by a lot of the ideas expressed here. No one is belittling you because of your age. When I say 18 is still a child, I don’t mean that I think you and a 10 yo behave the same. I mean that an 18 yo lacks the experience and perspective of someone 30-40-50, and that’s not a judgment against the 18 yo, it’s simply a fact. Imagine this scenario: you just started a new job, the first weeks are spent in tra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:41 PM
4

Mods, this commenter is a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 03:57 PM
13

You should post the screenshot as a new comment 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:00 AM
67

The younger ladies on this sub might not like to hear this, but normal adults view 18-22 as basically children still. And wanting to fuck children, even if they’re legally not, makes you a pedophile. Also, I’d be interested to poll all these “bUt It’s LeGaL” asshats about their opinion on cannabis use in non-legal states
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:22 AM
38

I’m sorry, I must be reading this wrong. He offered a dinner date at a nice restaurant and then said “never mind, let’s walk instead”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:08 AM
13

“To all my fans who heard the bad news or read it, I want to apologize—even though I don’t really know what I’m apologizing for,” he says. “I’m apologizing for the disturbing news. For the media’s stupidity.” wooooow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 05:32 PM
2

Girl, every single thing you’ve said about this guy labels him a gigantic fucking loser. Please very seriously consider what benefit you believe he brings to your life, and then compare that to the effort and energy you expend on him. I can guaran-fucking-tee that scale isn’t balanced, and it’s not you on the winning side. I know you think you’re toying with him and it’s fun, but that attitude is frequently just a coping mechanism that allows you to justify all the time you dedicate to him, inst…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:43 AM
6

she’s trying so hard to push the ex away that she’s scheming to take her daughter I don’t think it gets more pickme than that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:20 AM
2

Right, and a decent guy expects you to regularly do something he knows you hate to do, just because he benefits, and clearly displays his displeasure when you don’t pretend to love the thing he knows you hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:14 AM
2

I’ve told this story before, but’s a good one. My ex twice asked me to take him back, but tried to do it without actually having to say the words “I want to get back together.” I played dumb both times; the first time he didn’t press it, but the second time was the fun one. I pretended like I didn’t understand his insinuation, again, so he responds with “you know what I mean.” And that was all the effort he put into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:48 AM
5

Also the fact that he took at face value what an article on another website said about a sub, instead of taking 2 seconds to put the sub in the search bar on his reddit account and scroll through one page of the posts... That’s the problem I have with this also. I find it very hard to believe that he hasn’t checked out the sub, even I occasionally venture over to incel or extreme right subs (idk, sometimes you just wanna be grossed out), so it doesn’t make sense to me. Kinda sounds like a shit t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:23 AM
4

Oh dollie, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I understand why you so badly want to know the reason, but the fact is that the reason doesn’t even matter anymore. He’s been hiding something from you for as long as you’ve known him, and regardless of what that something is, the deceiving needs to be a dealbreaker. He’s perfectly happy to go on lying to you every single day for literally years and years; how could you ever trust him about anything?! You deserve better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:10 AM
8

I love how her reason for declining was legit, but his was because he couldn’t be assed to see what’s happening a foot in front of his face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:33 AM
5

And who the fuck captioned this with farmer joe?! I think pretty much everyone can agree that $5000 most definitely is much. Lord, that money would literally change my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:20 AM
4

Did you happen to notice the account age when you reviewed the history? Another commenter said it was an 8 year old account, but I can’t verify that now because they’ve been suspended so I’m very curious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:10 AM
17

Also known as human trafficking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:57 AM
14

Such a typical response for a narcissist. Because he has never been negatively impacted by porn (🤥) he believes no one else in the world could be either My ex was the same way, completely lacked any ability to see things from someone else’s perspective, and would straight up tell you that your opinion was wrong and why his was the only right way to think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:54 AM
1

“hey, thanks for taking me in so I didn’t have to sleep on the street. but honestly, you made me really uncomfortable with the way that you were so uncomfortable about the fact that I forced myself into your bed. like, I tried to fuck you, and you weren’t even into it? and I kinda feel like you should apologize for not being a more welcoming host in this situation I concocted in an attempt to coerce you into sexual contact that you didn’t truly desire”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:09 AM
8

I cried for hours one night because I desperately wanted to be okay with my ex watching so much porn that he couldn’t have sex with me, or trolling escort sites and Ashley Madison until 4am. I hated that I couldn’t just be one of those cOol GiRls who could let their boyfriend fuck around because thAT’s whAt guyS nEEd. Yeah, somehow I thought I was the problem 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:13 AM
5

Omg, yes, nearly every relationship people see growing up has at least one party (almost exclusively it’s the woman) who’s consistently miserable and making unreasonable concessions for the other. There are so few examples of high value relationships for people to learn from. The idea that “marriage means not getting what you want” is so ingrained in people. We’re effectively taught that it’s unreasonable to expect that you could ever have a long term partner who doesn’t regularly disappoint you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 06:03 AM
13

This girl posted on one of the relationship subs about her bf who’s totally perfect in every way, except he sleeps in a “nest”. His nest was a pile of dirty, smelly clothes and towels bunched together on the floor. He did not wash the items that made up the nest, and he insisted that she had to sleep in the nest with him if she wanted to be with him. I don’t recall exactly, but I believe there was an actual bed available, but he didn’t sleep there and wouldn’t “allow” her too either. People in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:06 AM
5

Yes!! One of the things to convince me that my ex was HV was the overwhelming care and generosity he displayed with his friends and family. He once took in his childhood friend (and his wife and their child) when they were in desperate need, housed them for a month and set them up with a car, job, and apartment when they were brand new to the US. How could he be anything but high value, right?! Wrong. The man was a useless, selfish, narcissistic asshole who walked out on me because he didn’t lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:59 AM
8

What she said is so right. He thinks he’s settling for you and that he’s out of your league, so he’s not going to feel bad about treating you poorly because he’ll think you should be happy for any attention he gives you. I don’t have any time for a man who isn’t 1000% sure he wants me in his life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:42 AM
3

he doesn’t do the amateur narcissistic or f*ckboy mistakes to reveal himself. Even more reason for you to cut contact immediately. He lied to you, and then lied about lying, so you know he is not trustworthy, and he does not respect you. And he’s better at deceiving than most, so the only way for you to stay safe around him is to never be around him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:11 AM
3

This is a really interesting question, and initially I was on board with your line of thought, but now I’m not so sure. I think most of the time the downplaying is just men being insensitive and showing how they can’t appreciate any opinion that doesn’t match their own, and would not qualify as gaslighting. But, if it’s a regular/frequent habit of his to convince you that your emotional reactions are out of proportion to the stimulus, then that would seem to be gaslighting, don’t you think? And …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:53 AM
50

I’m one of those people who loves a good nap, but I can’t imagine telling someone “hey, I know it’s time for our date right now, but I’m gonnna go sleep instead. Wait around for a few hours until I decide I’m ready for you” 🤨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:43 AM
15

Mixed signals means he’s not interested
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:22 AM
62

My last ex used to tell me I looked nice, and then mock the way I said thank you. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:56 AM
11

https://gf.me/u/yvkmrc From the article 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:05 AM
11

Yup, he could have sent a text at noon that said he’d be busy today, but instead he waited until the whole day passed before he put five seconds worth of effort into contacting her. Not impressive. eta: also seems manipulative. Let her spend the day wondering what’s going on, then throw her this text that sounds genuine to reel her back in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:35 PM
8

Oooh, girl do it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:57 AM
17

Its crazy how you can be the one putting in 80% of the entire effort to hold a relationship together, and he’s stil gonna tell you that you expect too much from him, that no other man puts in the level of effort he does, and that all you bring to his life is pain 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:00 AM
2

Can we make this a thing? When women come here asking “do I expect too much?” we can all chime in “don’t accept pickle juice” 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:15 AM
2

How do you get here? I’m okay being single for now, even for the next few years, but the idea that I’ll probably never have another relationship, or even sex, ever again is honestly really sad. I’m so young, and the relationships I’ve had have all been damaging, it’s really tough for me to accept that I’ll never get to experience a great partner who truly loves me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 05:30 AM
4

Doesn’t sound like a true eviction though. If she says she wants him gone and he says okay, then he agreed. But you’re right, if she wants to force him out legally she needs to go through the courts to protect herself. Another option I’ve read about on legaladvice is a “cash for keys” exchange. Tell him you’ll pay him to leave asap and have him sign a contract.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:11 AM
2

Almost sounds like it was written by the girlfriend after she found the original post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:54 AM
7

You should text him immediately and let him know that you won’t be going back to his for the dog, then block him and never engage again. Do not allow yourself to feel bad about this or think it’s too mean, it’s what he deserves for treating you like shit. Also, I know a lot of users here can be super harsh and sometimes outright mean. I wish we didn’t respond this way when women come to us and so obviously need support. Please don’t let their crass comments or downvotes steer you away from fds. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:27 AM
6

I agree, a coffee date actually seems more intimate to me. And their logic for choosing coffee is flawed anyway: you shouldn’t be accepting a date with a man if you’re unsure if he’s a catfish, and you should be at least moderately comfortable that he’s not a creep before you meet him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:32 AM
20

My ex left me when our child was 5 months old because he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t “just get over” my ppd and “stop being lazy”. I fell hard for a long time before I got my shit together: new therapist, finally got an add diagnosis at age 30 and began medicating it, lost 60 pounds in 5 months, working on my career. In the past six months, he’s asked me to take him back twice. Both times I laughed at him and told him to get the fuck out of my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:58 AM
1

I’m not sure I’d call her a pickme (although she’s definitely nonFDS), but she doesn’t have to be a pickme for you to decide that you don’t like her personality. I think I would find her annoying too based on what you wrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:15 PM
38

I don’t want to blame the wife because it’s not her fault that he’s such a parasite, but when I read that the cheaters still work together after the first affair I was shocked
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:47 PM
6

In the same vein, don’t accept “teasing,” “jokes,” or “pranks” that make you unhappy/uncomfortable just because he says he wants his woman to be his best friends and therefore he should be able to joke with you the way he would his friends. Gon ahead and start fucking Matt then, ask Mike to suck your dick just the way you like. We’re not pals, this isn’t a buddy cop movie. If I’m your partner you should be treating me miles above your friends, and if you need me to spell that out for you then th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:36 PM
5

You did an awesome job, and I hope I didn’t sound like I was criticizing you, because that’s definitely not what I was going for. As you said there is so much nuance and sometimes tweaking one little word can change almost the whole meaning. Also, your English is phenomenal, I never would have guessed that you’re not a native speaker!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:24 PM
9

I don’t mean to nitpick, but I think #4 could be reworded. I interpreted his point as allowing the man to know about an opportunity to help you, without asking outright, to see if he’ll volunteer the assistance. For example, I have a minor surgery scheduled for next week. I might mention this in passing to gauge his reaction. A hvm will express concern for my wellbeing, and would do something kind for me during that time: he might offer to do the grocery shopping, have my favorite meal delivered…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:23 PM
43

how to trap a provider my god, the projection is astounding!!! they think we’re out here with the goal of “trapping” a man because their sole purpose is to trap a woman!! they can’t understand that we’re looking for partners while they’re looking for victims
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:09 PM
29

Exactly, he’s deliberately trying to make her feel like shit. A person who actively tries to hurt you does not care about or respect you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:38 AM
6

That’s the only part of that comment I don’t know if I agree with. I don’t think that being ugly precludes a man from being a HV partner, and if he’s truly HV then he should be aware of “his league”/ who he would make an appropriate match with, and date within that range. Thoughts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:50 PM
1

More than anything, just take your time. I know you might be working through some feelings like you’re “running out of time” or something to that effect, but that’s so untrue!! You’re still very young, so try to wipe away those fears of “missing out”. Absolutely don’t let anyone, man or woman convince you that your best bet is to jump right into dating/sex to help you move on. Listen to yourself; you already know you’re not ready, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your ex may be boning someon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:42 PM
58

Nice work mama :) op, if you don’t mind, I think this post could be a good place for me to pose a question I’ve been considering lately: do you/ would you allow your daughters to watch kids movies where the plot line centers around a shitty relationship? Things like Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, etc. Movies that I remember fondly from my childhood and would like to share with my kids, but also look really bad through an FDS lens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 05:10 PM
12

Who else thinks that phone call is suspect as hell? Why why why would he take a call from a woman he previously slept with while on a date with a new woman? Either staged, or straight up slap in the face to OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:48 PM
6

Can we point out where she slipped up without immediately going on the attack, please? If we want her to stick around and learn the ropes, we should offer a welcoming community, not one she’ll want to run from. Comments should be helpful and encourage conversation, yours doesn’t fit the bill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:46 PM
5

Yup, listen to your body and don’t talk yourself down when something feels wrong. I used to think that I “have anxiety” but now I don’t believe that. I only get anxious in situations where I feel mistreated. I didn’t “have anxiety” on that date because he was just so handsome, I felt anxious because he was negging me and I didn’t realize it until later. I don’t “have anxiety” about working, I feel anxious when I have to deal with my condescending boss. It’s a subtle distinction, I hope it makes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:35 PM
4

“hOW ArE wE SUpPOsED to bUILD OUR rELATionSHIP iF SHE’S aLWaYS with SOmEone ELSe?!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:06 PM
13

And then he calls her childish. Um, yeah, she’s barely removed from childhood, that’s exactly why you chose her, you perv
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 03:40 PM
3

Several states recognize “common law marriage” which is basically the same thing, so, yes, usa does have
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 03:10 PM
16

Right?! I know we shouldn’t reduce people to their body, but my god, she’s gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 03:02 PM
12

Yup, and so many people would say “oh, come on, is something so small really worth divorcing about?” because they only know dysfunctional, codependent relationships and cannot imagine a world where a married woman doesn’t coddle her husband well past the point that it’s harmful to herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:44 PM
4

For me, it was a full six months before I finally accepted that it was really over forever, and when that came I hit my rock bottom. I was really in a bad spot, and it was another 2-3 months before things turned for the better. By the time a year rolled around I was 100% over the romantic part. I still have a lot of anger about the relationship and split, but I’m doing pretty well these days. One thing that helped me turn my thoughts was to write a list of all the bullshit he put me through. I k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:23 AM
4

Thank god I read this while home alone. My “wtf?!” face kept getting more and more extreme, if anyone saw they’d be scarred for life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:42 AM
28

Right, how fucking gross is that?! Seeing a beautiful, intimate act between a mother and her child, and immediately sexualizing it for your own gratification. That’s your own daughter, how can you be so sick? It’s so vile that we’ve come to a place where women are made to wonder if something like this is normal, and begin to think they’re the weird one for taking issue with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 04:32 PM
72

You might be getting downvoted for saying she deserves it, cuz that’s kinda fucked up. Was it a foolish move? Yes. Should she have known better? Probably. Did she deserve it? FUCK. NO. Why should she accept any blame for his shitty actions? Women are gaslit enough by men and society, we shouldn’t be participating in that kind of bullshit ourselves. This sub should be a safe haven for us, but so often I see users tearing down other women who haven’t seen the light yet, and it honestly makes me re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:55 AM
11

That’s incredible, I’m so proud of you! Did you do the course online? I bought a course last year, did like 3 hours of it, and gave up. I’m so impressed by people who can get themselves through things like that; if it was a class I would totally be there, but when it’s up to me alone to make sure it gets done, I drop the ball a lot. Congratulations 🍾🎉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:02 AM
3

Can you screenshot some comments, or write them up for us? Like another commenter, I don’t have the app so I can’t see them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:54 AM
3

The bar is so incredibly low for fathers, it’s actually disgusting. My ex has custody 3 days a week and half that time they’re with his mother because he’s not even around. This year, two separate families sent him cards on Mother’s Day because “he’s a single dad”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:26 AM
31

Ugh, I’m convinced that men only give compliments because if you respond positively they get an ego boost. That’s why they get so offended when you’re not blushing at their comments, because you’ve effectively insulted them by not being flattered by whatever bullshit they spew. As usual, it’s really all about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:07 PM
0

My version of this involves my kids. I’m a mom and very upfront about that, plus most of the selfies I take are with my kids, so I do have a couple pictures on my profile that are me and the kiddos together, but their faces are blocked out because people are weird. Half the guys who talk to me tell me my kids are “Cute, JusT LIke THeIR moM ;)”. You literally can’t see their faces, why would you say that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:53 AM
14

It means she’s not going to take your shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:43 AM
20

"I love you but I'm not in love with you" If someone says this to you, you can ignore every other thing they said and only remember these six word: I’m not in love with you. I could have saved myself so much time if I’d just listened to what I was being told
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:41 AM
18

After a super upsetting breakup from a toxic relationship, my sister’s husband came on to me a couple times, once very aggressively (while drunk) before I finally cut him off. He and my sister were separated and somewhat estranged, but still very much married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:55 PM
2

Exactly. If one of your hobbies is the deciding factor that determines your compatibility, then you guys would never have been compatible no matter what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:45 AM
3

I got my code, but when I try to log in it says Wrong email or password. I use the same password for everything so I know they’re both right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:47 PM
11

Ugh, it’s even grosser than that. He’s had his mother living with him for over three years now (she was a major source of stress in our relationship and I repeatedly told him I didn’t want his family living with us long term) so she does all the cooking and cleaning for him, as well at least half of the childcare. But she’s from another country and she wants to go home. So he needs me to take him back and come back to the house he threw me out of to become his maid/chef/nanny/sex toy again. Sadl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:38 AM
12

Girl, this was two months ago and I’m still pissed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:15 AM
7

I kinda wanna give her the benefit of the doubt, because I think what constitutes “messy” varies a lot person to person, and generally speaking, what a woman considers messy will be much neater than what a man considers messy. Like, a pile of mail on the counter instead of filed away might be messy but most people would probably not be offended. But men think they can have dirty clothes all over the place, moldy dishes and food in the sink, an overflowing trash can, and a bathroom that’s never b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:59 PM
7

Women need to practice not being polite. Practice getting angry when someone disrespects you. “Why would you say something so rude? No, it’s not just a joke” “Why are you touching me?!” “My focus is on things more important than my smile, yours should be too” “That’s inappropriate, don’t speak to me that way” As women we all have been subjected to shitty behavior and I definitely regret the times I didn’t call people out the way they deserved, so I practice what I wish I had said so I’m better p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:41 PM
65

Ugh, I just got this shit, except not even any attempt at an apology. This man left me 6 months after our second child was born because he just couldn’t handle my “ppd” which was really just a normal depressed reaction to the shitty way he treated me, and a year and a half later he comes to me and asks if we can get back together. Except he didn’t even have the balls to say that, this scumbag seriously asked me if we could “be parents together” and when I reminded him that we already do that (50…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:19 PM
3

I so badly wanted him to be a troll, but most trolls make it too obvious, and I honestly think this guy believes everything he says, including his opinion that porn has literally never harmed anyone ever in the history of the universe. Either that or he’s a fantastically good troll, and that’s not as easy to believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:29 PM
6

That’s true that people report more often now, but even today’s rates leave anywhere from 65-95% of rapes unreported. These numbers can’t be dismissed just because it’s worse in other places
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:22 PM
16

Yup, this kind of knowledge is a fact of life as a woman; every man is a potential danger. And when that danger fuels our behavior men tell us they “don’t get it” and we’re “overreacting” or “hysterical”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:54 PM
37

I love that you researched the numbers, it didn’t even occur to me to do that. Too bad someone like this is beyond the help of logic, facts, or data.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:48 PM
18

Check out the comment to see an amazing feat: op begins with his foot in his mouth, and in some bizarre trick of physics, consumes himself entirely while defending his point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:58 PM
1

I think you’re right that not ghosting is probably right in this specific situation because you want to keep a HQ reputation in the community. In that case I’d probably let him know there’s a conversation that you want to have and arrange a time that good for you both. From there I think you’d want to just lay it all out, that you’ve recently realized you guys have a connection and because of that you’re not interested in moving forward. Avoid phrases like “I’m not sure/I don’t think” and instea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:23 PM
3

I just got my diagnosis a couple weeks ago at 33 and started my first ADD med today. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you taking now and what have you tried before?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:23 AM
2

Also, don’t ever have a child with a man who won’t marry you. (unless you’re incredibly wealthy) Only the woman ever gets fucked over in those situations, don’t ask me how I know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:30 PM
3

I think the biggest concern will be how he feels about it. Not because his opinion is more important than yours, but how will he feel if you follow the handbook and make him wait the 90 days and he knows you messed around with his brother early on? I can’t see any way he won’t have resentment about that, even though he’ll almost definitely say it doesn’t bother him. I’d hate to see you invest your time only to find out months down the line that he isn’t as cool with it as he says he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:22 PM
4

When someone doesn't care about your bday, they don't care about you. I used to let men get away with minimal/inappropriate/no gifts for special occasions, and I’ll never embarrass myself like that again. They’ll say “birthdays aren’t important to me” like the same automatically applies to you. No, birthdays are important to me, and if I’m important to you then my birthday is important too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:55 PM
1

Kinda sounds like he expects you to be exclusively pursuing him, without the benefit of being his girlfriend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:51 AM
3

I also thought it was interesting that she didn’t mention how long they’ve been together. Usually these posts include that tidbit, but I think she intentionally left it out because she knows it looks bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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