What are (seemingly) benign things that a LVM does that betray his character?

elainejay82 · 2021-05-12T19:06:04+00:00

The walking thing you mentioned makes me sooooo annoyed. Forgot how much I hated that.

Gouda8995 · 2021-05-12T18:22:13+00:00

"Refusing to make any sort of introduction at a party between you and his friends you’ve never met before (but just diving into convo without acknowledging your presence)"

To add to this one, this includes friends you have met before, too. And if they're supposedly mutual friends, can you add a word in edgewise or participate in the convo?

Trojaneer_South · 2021-05-12T19:22:30+00:00

Not asking if you got home safely after parting ways at night

lansburysoda · 2021-05-12T19:43:31+00:00

Believing that he is the ultimate arbiter of truth. Ie, his belief about himself & everything else is the truth/“logical” and therefore every time you disagree with him you’re wrong/emotional. This is so insidious but it’s one of the signs you should watch out for the most.

Gambit12345 · 2021-05-12T17:43:07+00:00

How he talks about the future. Does he talk about all the benefits that he’d get from marrying you? Does he say you’ll be able to get HIM so many things with your money? Say he wants you to be his wife but won’t say he wants to be your husband? To me these indicate a very selfish gold digging man who won’t reciprocate and expect loads of perks from you without giving back, like he wants a sugar mama.
When it comes to fun activities is he stringent in what he’ll do for fun? Aka only doing what he and his friends will do, unwilling to participate in your ideas or going ahead with it begrudgingly.
Men that don’t acknowledge you’re their gf when around others. Like if his friends say they want to hook your bf up with another woman meanwhile you, the gf, are standing right there. If he doesn’t speak up to say wtf I’m seeing someone who’s right here, that’s a problem
If after a fight they sweep the issues under the rug without solving anything
Tolerating racism from family/friends
Negging or hinting at hurting you then doubling back saying it was a joke.
Making fun of you if you try to better yourself through diet, exercise, wardrobe, etc

Risoa · 2021-05-12T21:46:37+00:00

Belitting your interests even in "jokey" subtle ways, expecting you to drop everything that you're doing if they want to hang out last minute, feeling entitled to your body at all times.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-05-12T19:55:43+00:00

any apparently benign thing that a LVM does in response to us is prone to escalation. since I am not a confrontational person, I would see as a red flag a man trying to debate me, his "love"-interest at the beginning of the relationship. I am all for critical thinking and having opinions but a LVM would see it as another opportunity for them to compete with you or best you. if the man is picking fights with me over the littlest of things or disagrees with anything I say (just for the sake of disagreeing) then block and delete. a contrarian is not what you need in a relationship.

+ any remark that involves assuming what you/ women in general (gross generalizations that are usually sexist) think or feel and a very poor understanding of what "equality between men and women" or what feminism is.

lunarfulminate · 2021-05-12T17:33:03+00:00

"Forgets" things that are important to you but has no trouble remembering minor details about literally anything else.

Kimpractical · 2021-05-12T20:47:37+00:00

Oof... I cringed at the last one. Makes me think of my narcissistic ex who criticized everything I did or tried to take over anytime I was cooking something, but would never offer to make anything or do it completely himself

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-05-13T02:03:21+00:00

Aggressive driving, for any reason.

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-05-12T17:17:56+00:00

Interrupting
If you talk through interrupting, he keeps trying to start his sentence
Arguing about arguing. Derails from the point and spawns a new argument

greenbagmaria · 2021-05-13T02:55:11+00:00

Seen mode. Especially when you’re discussing something you think is important, and they’re active in other social media platforms—it’s such a unique way of disrespect. They know you can see that they’ve read your message but they don’t care if they’re being disrespectful.

I just straight up cut off people (not just men) that do this too much. Like you’re asking them about plan details and they’ve seen your message 20 mins ago yet they’re posting on GCs and Social media? No.

Platipus6 · 2021-05-12T22:07:09+00:00

Acts single, doesn't know how to be a partner. Just expects you to be an independent woman nearby, but also give him wifey benefits.

eg. asks what you want as you're looking at the menus, then when the waitstaff comes, he just tells them his order. Or pushes ahead in line, orders his thing then moves out the way so you can order your own coffee/movie ticket and pay for yourself.

Gets in his car, settles all his packages then leans over to unlock for you.

Even if he walks by your side holding your hand, his head is on a swivel admiring every other woman. He forgot you're there. Goes into all the shops he likes and makes sighing noises at shops you want to go into.

Admires how nice and clean your home is and that you've set out a towel for him. Makes a lame apology at how messy his home is and hasn't set out anything.

_queeeen_ · 2021-05-12T17:38:01+00:00

Being late, especially in the early stages. Some people are chronically late. I get that. I accept that from certain people in my life, but generally in love and business don’t appreciate it.

Being late for a first date with someone you’re really into? Unlikely. He’s probably not that into you and this can never be HV.

sherrybby · 2021-05-12T21:22:46+00:00

Saying he has bad memory, hence giving him an excuse to rely on when he forgets days or holidays. If he passed high school and can remember the dates in his history class, he can remember your anniversary or birthday.
Being way too chummy with friends you introduce them to - could be the beginnings of their attempts at triangulation lol
playing dEviLs adVoCaTe under the guise of being "logical" and "rational"

starfighter07 · 2021-05-13T12:23:20+00:00

To me, a man that is disrespectful towards other people hobbies is a BIG red flag. And by that, I mean perfectly normal hobbies, not weird or creepy stuff.

Typicaly, a man that says "oh so X is listening to Dua Lipa ? She is such a mainstream and commercial artist blablabla", "oh so X loves to read that kind of books ? This is not even good writing unlike * insert male writer that don't even know how to write decent female characters *"

If he can't say he doesn't like something without insulting, then run away because as soon as he has some grip on you he will start doing the same to everything you do to make you feel like shit.

smellys0cks · 2021-05-13T13:50:27+00:00

When he's at your place and has a shower, he puts his wet towel on your bed, uses your expensive toiletries without asking and makes sure to squeeze your toothpaste out like this:
https://st.focusedcollection.com/14916868/i/1800/focused\_326459724-stock-photo-man-squeezing-tube-toothpaste.jpg

_bethiebabes · 2021-05-12T21:43:52+00:00

putting the cart in the corral vs leaving it in the middle of the lot

leaving garbage in the theater at the end of the movie even though you’ll walk past a bin on the way out

double parking/parking in the fire lane when there are real spots available

driving on the shoulder to make a right on red

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-15T02:35:24+00:00

Taking the largest or last piece without asking.

Undertipping.

Impatience.

Assuming a woman is there to be his therapist.

Subtly putting you or your choices down or putting words in your mouth “oh you don’t want that”

Title	What are (seemingly) benign things that a LVM does that betray his character?
Author	ellaleau
Upvotes	355
Comments	37
Date	May 12, 2021 4:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/natb2f/what_are_seemingly_benign_things_that_a_lvm_does/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-seemingly-benign-things-that-a-lvm-does.757456 https://theredarchive.com/post/757456

Comments