Will men with autism and other mental health issues ever be given a decent opportunity at love?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-18T17:11:12+00:00

No incl content

SaBahRub · 2021-03-18T16:49:42+00:00

Do you understand that love is supposed to be mutual and sex is supposed to be consensual, in the ideal?

SaBahRub · 2021-03-18T17:05:25+00:00

Men are not "given" anything. They get what they earn. Sex and love are no exceptions.

Men with autism and other mental health issues will have love opportunities consistent with their SMV and MMV. Which are reduced because of their autism and mental health issues.

Men who want love should start by focusing less on love and much more on sex. To get into a relationship, you must establish sexual attractiveness, and to do that you have to maximize your sexual market value. I think it's fine that men want emotional attachment to a woman. The only way for men to get there is through sexual attraction.

I know you weren't talking about sex, but in my view sex is a necessary starting point for men.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-03-18T17:08:36+00:00

mental health issues like autism, cannot. It is stuck with us for our entire lives.

I mean, yea.... Like frankly, knowing that sucks, but it's not like you can do anything else except compensate for it somehow.

I'm a man that has managed to date and have relationships while being on the autism spectrum and I can definitely say it hasn't been the easiest thing, especially in the earlier stages of dating in general (namely, mid-late teenage years), but when the options are to either do nothing and not get what you want, or to do something about it (e.g. treatment, socializing, going WAY out of your comfort zone to learn new skills, etc.) and have a chance at getting what you want, the effort can be worth it. I can definitely say the amount of effort I put in to becoming a more attractive person and better relationship prospect (and partner) was worth it, but your mileage will vary. It's really up to the individual to determine how much effort they want to put into that part of their lives.

2021-04-02T22:03:11+00:00

I know this post was deleted and made a while ago, but I would still like to give you my opinion.

I feel like men with autism and other mental health issues should be given a decent opportunity at love.

There was this guy I was very infatuated with for at least a year and he would avoid me, and later told me he did it because he didn't know what to say to me/how to speak to me. I practically chased him down (which is something I will never do again) and ended up asking him out after we hadn't talked for six months and was rejected (he was in a relationship). We became friends instead. To make a long story short, he told me he felt unworthy of me and it seemed like he had extremely low self-esteem. I was told that he may be autistic by a friend of his and he never told me himself; after finding out he was autistic, I did research so I could better understand him and accomodate him when needed (reading articles, watching YouTube videos, asking autistic individuals questions). It didn't work out sadly, but life goes on.

Anyways, as long as you accept yourself for who you are/what you have, get professional help when needed for yourself, try to have a positive outlook on life, and try live the life you want, I feel like your chances are good. The guy I was interested in had low/no self-esteem, seemed pessimistic, disinterested in me as a person at times, would be snarky/have an attitude, wouldn't even tell me he was autistic (which he wasn't obligated to, but still), was self-deprecating and self-pitying. I once told him that I thought he was intelligent and he disagreed with me.

No one wants a partner they have to validate all the time, has a negative outlook on life, who can't try to accept things that will never change and is out of their control (their disorders/disabilities) and have a "take-it-or-leave-it" attitude when it comes to who they are as a person. Even if I had dated the guy I was interested in, it wouldn't have worked out because he still has things he needs to work out internally, like accepting that he's autistic and have a higher level of self-esteem. Sorry for going on a rant, but I hope this helped.

SeemedGood · 2021-03-18T17:09:51+00:00

I’m looking for someone who is not only attractive but loves me for who I am, in spite of my many flaws (whether or not they can be fixed).

Bro, we’re all looking for this, but no heterosexual man gets this. That is reserved for women, children, and perhaps homosexual men.

Women don’t love men for who we are, they appreciate us for what we can do for them (inclusive of how we make them feel).

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flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-18T16:51:12+00:00

My partner is type 2 bipolar, so yes.

The only thing I really require is that whatever the issue is, it be actively managed.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2021-03-18T17:00:01+00:00

Sure. I have a partner with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a number of disabilities. As long as they’re willing to take responsibility for and work on those things (and they’re in a place with treatment that healthy relationships are possible), it’s fine.

2021-03-18T17:09:32+00:00

We might claim that everyone deserves love and we can actually believe in it, but it usually means that most people aren't inherently unlovable and that we should treat each other and especially our close ones nicely. It doesn't mean though that everyone will get a partner or that it will be easy for them.

It's shitty, I admit it. There are ways to make it better and give people better opportunities, like providing proper health care, for example. Inclusive environment, inclusive education etc. It still wouldn't "give" everyone a partner though. And there are people with no issues whatsoever who also can't find a partner. It isn't guaranteed.

With mental issues there is another layer though. Depending on an issue, it can be really draining for the other partner and a lot of people actually can't provide the needed help and support for their partners. If your spouse has severe depression, most likely you will need to go to therapy as well. It doesn't mean they're unlovable, but it does narrow one's dating pull as not everyone is ready or even just capable of being with a person who needs help.

Bandit174 · 2021-03-18T17:14:57+00:00

Probably not. The whole idea that everyone is equal is just lip service. In reality certain traits are conventionally perceived as inferior . Unless we go the route of genetic engineering to prevent people from inheriting those inferior traits in the first place there will never truely be equal opportunities. It goes way beyond just mental illness tho.

Title	Will men with autism and other mental health issues ever be given a decent opportunity at love?
Author	Estimator1313
Upvotes	1
Comments	33
Date	March 18, 2021 4:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m7v45p/will_men_with_autism_and_other_mental_health/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/will-men-with-autism-and-other-mental-health.1190817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190817

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