I found this sub from Vindicta, and after finding out about Diabla and I can't believe I went there first.

Just reading from tonight I realize I have dated an unavailable- hidden life man and a clinger-parental seeking probably mentally ill with violence red flag man, for 4 month when all the red flags where there from the start.

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First one didn't text back, didn't invite me in his space clearly and then pulled away when I asked to clarify what we where doing with the excuse that he didn't want to be in a "conventional" relationship and then we just didn't contact each other.

Second one was litteraly sucking the life out of me, behaving emotionnaly manipulative, controling and jealous of anyone, while always diminishing my achievements and acting like I had something to lose.

Even my hookups where terrible, with lovebombing, bad sex and ghosting

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My entire approach to dating was based on selfdeprecation and being unable to have an ounce of self respect despite knowing we live in a patriarcal world.

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And I though my appearance and personnality was the problem.

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I am so mad right now , reading the handbook has ignited a fire of self preservation and determination like no other. And the worse is that I look at the women in my life that I admire and what I couldn't define in them that makes them successful in their dating life is all put in words here!!!!! Every single concept I can tie to what they are doing and how they carry themselves!!!

I'm gonna be my own dreamgirl thats for sure.