I find it weird to ask girls out

ratarata · 2017-12-01T18:49:37+00:00

How old are you?

TehJimmyy · 2017-12-01T18:58:18+00:00

Can you help me change my perspective on this?

If you mean date like ask out , then work at it slowly by starting doing things with them(inviting them out with friends maybe ? or anything simple) and mostly interacting.From there you can take it naturally.

1Pink1Stink · 2017-12-01T19:45:49+00:00

You have to put in effort to evolve.

Peter_B_Long · 2017-12-02T00:59:01+00:00

First, Start by talking to everyone. Talk more in general. Have more conversations with cashiers, waitresses, friends, friends of friends, etc. This will make you feel "normal" about talking to girls.

Second, don't think about it as a date, and don't make it seem like a date. Make it seem like you have awesome plans set up and you're inviting the girl because you have a hunch that she could potentially be good company, then you take it from there and that's how stuff "just happens".

Lastly and most importantly, focus on yourself first, at least for a few weeks. Join a gym, meditate every day, start reading, get a good nutrition plan going, cut out bad habits like soda, fried foods, porn, smoking, drinking, etc.

You're gonna fuck up hard if you go out into the world and try to pick up girls if you haven't had some time to build some confidence and self esteem, so focus on the last point first.

LeonardoDiDraperBond · 2017-12-01T22:31:41+00:00

Sidebar is that way >>>

Crimson-Carnage · 2017-12-01T21:45:29+00:00

You do have a reason. The reason for starting a conversation is to see if they are worth talking to and interested. If they laugh or ignore you, great, now you know they are shit and can be ignored forevermore. If they are boring, it's probably best to move on.

[deleted] · 2017-12-01T23:04:55+00:00

Start chatting online. Yes, for no reason at all. Hell just wait for a rainy day and ask them if they miss summer.

Don't become a wizard like I did. It gets harder as you age.

I'm almost 30 now and have started changing things for a while.

It's hard as hell but hopefully the payoff will be worth it. Not just in terms of women but my own self esteem.

fightclubdevil · 2017-12-02T06:31:14+00:00

Don't ask a girl out by saying "want to go out with me?" Ask her to do something small like help you with something. Then, if she starts liking you, ask her to hang out somewhere that isn't weird (ask her to hang out at school together with friends as opposed to asking her to come to your house alone.) Then when she's comfortable as a friend take her for a coffee, movie, ect. One step at a time. Don't do anything to make her uncomfortable rule #1

LateralThinker13 · 2017-12-01T20:28:30+00:00

Are you beta or just... asexual? Not every guy is a horndog.

[deleted] · 2017-12-01T20:51:59+00:00

We can’t help you change your perspective on things unless you want a change and want to work for it. Change is never easy and it will be uncomfortable which is a good thing. Being uncomfortable equals growth. Growth equals a stronger internal frame. Frame is everything. The end

TheDreadnought1 · 2017-12-01T23:58:26+00:00

Sidebar has a lot of stuff relative to how to break this restraints, how to be sexual, how to DGAF, all of that shit. Start reading it.

[deleted] · 2017-12-02T01:53:13+00:00

Things are only awkward if you make them awkward. Some people could get away with murder because they're so confident. You do have a reason to talk to them, and you know it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be asking

_MysticFox · 2017-12-01T23:25:28+00:00

It is not weird. My husband has never asked any of his ex's out. He lets them pursue him, and it surprisingly worked very well. He has a job that allowed him to constantly be working with HB9s/10s (models, fitness models, etc). When they flirt and he doesn't respond, they are suddenly interested. They pursue harder and flirt harder the more he acts like he's just trying to do his job. Some of the work involved getting messy, so the women would try to take advantage of it and pull the whole "Can you help me shower?" -- so he'd stand outside the shower, spray them down, and go "Okay, you're done, see you later". He never pursued them because most of them were pretty boring, and the ones who would agree to a date with, he had nothing in common with.

If you are the type to get away with women pursuing you, I'd say go for it. If you find yourself not talking to girls because you're nervous, then work on social anxiety. If you find yourself not talking to girls because you find it would be forced, or have nothing to say, that's okay too. Maybe change up the environment, and find women with a shared interest so you have something to break the ice with.

nofucksgiven-exe · 2017-12-02T06:35:39+00:00

I guess I used to have that problem a little bit. Sidebar and lifting helped, as well as the little push you get from reading TRP regularly where asking girls to do stuff with you is extremely normalized.

Personally, I think "what do I have to lose?" I already don't have her, if I ask her out and she says no I will lose NOTHING.

Same with texting. Most people use it as a normal means of chatting up people so it's not like you're some weird minority messaging them.

By the same token, since everyone is messaging the hot girls you may not get a response, which is fine. Again you've lost nothing. It's not abnormal to text her but it's also not abnormal to be ignored, so simply do not let it get to you. Frame+DGAF.

The most critical point is all of this shit is normal. I used to struggle thinking it would be weird to text people randomly, or chat them up, now I do it if I want to and look and behold I usually get a decent response as if I'm being completely normal because I am.

Title	I find it weird to ask girls out
Author	ratarata
Upvotes	5
Comments	24
Date	December 1, 2017 6:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7gx22d/i_find_it_weird_to_ask_girls_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-find-it-weird-to-ask-girls-out.119285 https://theredarchive.com/post/119285

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