FDS for women who have or want large families?

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-05T15:35:52+00:00

Children are expensive. Get educated and get some good earning power for yourself. And don’t settle for a man who doesn’t have the same. As well as vetting him relentlessly to make sure he’s HV in every way. But also be prepared to become a single mom, because marriage is no guarantee of anything.

Half_Halt · 2020-11-05T18:09:29+00:00

A friend from the mom's group I belonged to when my kids were little probably fits this definition. She and her husband owned a real estate company & both adored children. I've lost count how many they have now. 5 or 6. After the birth of their first, she decided to get her real estate license & started taking the certification classes in the evening. Breastfeeding was important to her, and he cheerfully drove the baby back & forth for her to nurse during breaks. He also used to come fill in if the church nursery was short on workers during our meetings.

So, it is certainly possible. By far the biggest issue ime is that men scream their heads off about women needing to work & not leeching off them, yet always see their career as more important: "what? I might need to take off to care for my sick child because my wife has something more important going on at her job today than I have at mine?? Whaaaaa??" It works for my friend because her husband sees her career as just as important as his; sees his role in doing the scut work of parenting as equal to hers; AND enforces that message to their children as well. Example: i see so many moms complain that their kids walked past their dad standing in the kitchen to come pound on the bathroom door while she's showering to ask HER for a snack. That would never happen in friend's household. Their kids know that both mom & dad are fully functioning, autonomous units capable of adulting.

And for any male lurkers: friend & her husband are both above average in the looks department. So it isn't a case of some Quasimodo-looking man desperate to hold onto a good-looking woman.

Samvanderkamp123 · 2020-11-05T16:12:30+00:00

Get an education and then a job that pays really well.

Lorinthia · 2020-11-05T18:45:23+00:00

1) Build up a career that you can always use to support your family if you end up on your own. Never totally give it up and ensure you remain relevant and active in the field throughout your life.

2) Focus on your health and fertility. Everyone in FDS should focus on their health, but if you want to maintain a strong and healthy body through multiple pregnancies you need to take it to the next level. Establish the eating and exercising (and self-care) habits you would need now, while you have the time. If you’re on hormonal birth control and you want to have kids in the next few years, start looking for other options. My favorites are the copper iud, FAM and making your man get a vasectomy (they are reversible).

3) Vet specifically for a man who wants a lot of kids, does his fair share of housework, and will make at least 6 figures himself to help support your family. He should be willing and eager to provide for the whole family on his own, but also support you working if you wish to (which you do, see point 1).

4) Plan out you education/workplace advancement and the timing of births meticulously. I’m 25, I plan to have four children, and I also plan to get an advanced degree in the next few years. That means I’m going to have to get my degree ASAP, or else get pregnant in grad school (no thanks!). You need to figure out what a realistic timeline for your children is.

faux_naturale · 2020-11-05T17:26:35+00:00

With trust funds.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-11-05T23:16:11+00:00

I don’t really understand this question. How many children one wants or has, does not change FDS principles.

I have an above average number of children. I follow FDS principles. You’ll narrow your dating pool simply by wanting a large family.

2020-11-05T15:25:35+00:00

I have three kids and live with my parents as I’m taking care of them, I’d like info/advice/experiences on this as well.

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