What do I say if someone says, "Not all feminists are like that, "?

skymonstef · 2020-01-04T03:12:07+00:00

Depends for outrage impact "Not all Nazis where THAT bad either" For a quick shutdown "Good.....what are you doing about the radical.feminists then? "

darkuen · 2020-01-03T23:47:07+00:00

Turn the question on its head and say “Not all men’s rights supporters are like that either, but why does the feminist movement almost universally equate the actions of of a few extremist men’s rights activists as representative of the whole group?”

Then if they get frustrated and ask something like “Then how is the men’s rights movement any better than feminism?”

Say “Feminism pretends to equate to being synonymous to equal rights for both sexes while the men’s rights movement is about bringing to light and looking for solutions for issues men and boys face”

2020-01-03T23:56:30+00:00

"No, but way too many of them are, and I don't see any of you out there working to stop them."

Tank-o-grad · 2020-01-04T12:07:42+00:00

The following is a very informed and highly reusable comment by Karen Straughan in response to a feminist who thinks the many blatant sexists among feminists aren't real feminists (I reckon it works for "not all Feminists are like thay" as the important ones overwhelmingly are):

So what you're saying is that you, a commenter using a username on an internet forum are the true feminist, and the feminists actually responsible for changing the laws, writing the academic theory, teaching the courses, influencing the public policies, and the massive, well-funded feminist organizations with thousands and thousands of members all of whom call themselves feminists... they are not "real feminists".

That's not just "no true Scotsman". That's delusional self deception.

Listen, if you want to call yourself a feminist, I don't care. I've been investigating feminism for more than 9 years now, and people like you used to piss me off, because to my mind all you were doing was providing cover and ballast for the powerful political and academic feminists you claim are just jerks. And believe me, they ARE jerks. If you knew half of what I know about the things they've done under the banner of feminism, maybe you'd stop calling yourself one.

But I want you to know. You don't matter. You're not the director of the Feminist Majority Foundation and editor of Ms. Magazine, Katherine Spillar, who said of domestic violence: "Well, that's just a clean-up word for wife-beating," and went on to add that regarding male victims of dating violence, "we know it's not girls beating up boys, it's boys beating up girls."

You're not Jan Reimer, former mayor of Edmonton and long-time head of Alberta's Network of Women's Shelters, who just a few years ago refused to appear on a TV program discussing male victims of domestic violence, because for her to even show up and discuss it would lend legitimacy to the idea that they exist.

You're not Mary P Koss, who describes male victims of female rapists in her academic papers as being not rape victims because they were "ambivalent about their sexual desires" (if you don't know what that means, it's that they actually wanted it), and then went on to define them out of the definition of rape in the CDC's research because it's inappropriate to consider what happened to them rape.

You're not the National Organization for Women, and its associated legal foundations, who lobbied to replace the gender neutral federal Family Violence Prevention and Services Act of 1984 with the obscenely gendered Violence Against Women Act of 1994. The passing of that law cut male victims out of support services and legal assistance in more than 60 passages, just because they were male.

You're not the Florida chapter of the NOW, who successfully lobbied to have Governor Rick Scott veto not one, but two alimony reform bills in the last ten years, bills that had passed both houses with overwhelming bipartisan support, and were supported by more than 70% of the electorate.

You're not the feminist group in Maryland who convinced every female member of the House on both sides of the aisle to walk off the floor when a shared parenting bill came up for a vote, meaning the quorum could not be met and the bill died then and there.

You're not the feminists in Canada agitating to remove sexual assault from the normal criminal courts, into quasi-criminal courts of equity where the burden of proof would be lowered, the defendant could be compelled to testify, discovery would go both ways, and defendants would not be entitled to a public defender.

You're not Professor Elizabeth Sheehy, who wrote a book advocating that women not only have the right to murder their husbands without fear of prosecution if they make a claim of abuse, but that they have the moral responsibility to murder their husbands.

You're not the feminist legal scholars and advocates who successfully changed rape laws such that a woman's history of making multiple false allegations of rape can be excluded from evidence at trial because it's "part of her sexual history."

You're not the feminists who splattered the media with the false claim that putting your penis in a passed-out woman's mouth is "not a crime" in Oklahoma, because the prosecutor was incompetent and charged the defendant under an inappropriate statute (forcible sodomy) and the higher court refused to expand the definition of that statute beyond its intended scope when there was already a perfectly good one (sexual battery) already there. You're not the idiot feminists lying to the public and potentially putting women in Oklahoma at risk by telling potential offenders there's a "legal" way to rape them.

And you're none of the hundreds or thousands of feminist scholars, writers, thinkers, researchers, teachers and philosophers who constructed and propagate the body of bunkum theories upon which all of these atrocities are based.

You're the true feminist. Some random person on the internet.

hookbill2 · 2020-01-03T23:13:42+00:00

walk away

2020-01-04T14:45:35+00:00

Point out that the ones that are "like that" are the ones with political power.

Who cares if some random person in a coffee shop "isn't like that", we care about the fact that organizations like NOW oppose Equal Custody.

Also point out that Feminism is an ideology, centered around an oppression dichotomy, i.e. "Men are the bad guys" and "Women are the victims", ask them if they think this prevents Men and Boys from getting empathy and whether or not it creates division that makes problems harder to solve.

jslnk · 2020-01-04T17:17:45+00:00

Ask them for their list of published papers.

Maybe “not all” are like that, but the ones calling the shots, getting published, getting interviews, and having social media impact are.

EvilLothar · 2020-01-06T16:33:05+00:00

"Not all canibals are like that."

"Not all rapists are like that."

Yea.. that shit doesn't fly.

Oncefa2 · 2020-01-03T23:14:42+00:00

Lots of good suggestions here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/eixt16/these_arent_real_feminists_theyre_not/

littlepaperfolk · 2020-01-11T18:47:31+00:00

You seem emotionally reactive. I was simply disagreeing with the “ALL feminists are bad” statement. You are entitled to your narrow-minded opinion, however. With your statement, “All feminists leaders are piece of shit”, I’ve realized that you are a “my way or the highway” type of chap. The only thing I can say to that is, “rock on, dude. May the force be with you.” Smiley face, thumbs up emoji, etc etc

littlepaperfolk · 2020-01-04T08:55:14+00:00

The same as you may respond to “not all mens rights advocates are like that”. Are ALL feminists evil? Are all MRAs evil? Are all straight people, all blacks, all cab drivers, all queers, all little boys, all schoolteachers, all artists, all socialists, all republicans, all Mexicans, all politicians, all nurses, all Namibians, all business people, all Catholics, all Hindus, all teenaged girls, either 100% saints or evil incarnate.....and on and on.

Say whatever you like. You are an adult, I presume? Imagine, for a moment, that the next segment is a PSA...

What do I say if someone says, “what do I say if someone says, “not all feminists are like that,”?” Cue 1950s music... Well, I’d say that “all people have differing ideas about feminism, Billy. Some believe that it has advanced the lives of women by changing attitudes about being permitted to study at universities, for instance, or allowing women in the 1960’s to choose birth control if they did not wish to become pregnant. Others believe that it means no more than working towards equity for all genders, races and creeds. Why, Billy, what do you say we just imagine for a moment that ALL people who subscribe to a certain belief system, like democracy or a particular religion, aren’t having the exact same thoughts at the same time? Why, that would make them automatons, sort of like clones or robots, wouldn’t it, Billy? And while we’re on the subject of “what do I say if?” What do I say if someone shares with me that they don’t believe in eating meat when I just love meat? Well, I guess you can just agree to disagree, Billy. Who’s right here, meat eaters or vegetarians? Well, who rightly knows, son? But I will say this. People are allowed to have their own ideas and beliefs, even if they differ from yours. We can’t ALL think like Billy, now can we?!” Cue 1950s music while narrator rolls his eyes at the moronic questions of poor, hapless, idiotic Billy...

jonnyhaldane · 2020-01-04T12:39:31+00:00

Consider they are probably right. No group is uniform.

Title	What do I say if someone says, "Not all feminists are like that, "?
Author	Randomstrangerguy123
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	January 3, 2020 11:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ejnh8r/what_do_i_say_if_someone_says_not_all_feminists/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-do-i-say-if-someone-says-not-all-feminists.1201666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1201666

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