Need your input

dday_throwaway3 · 2019-11-12T15:01:06+00:00

You finalize custody before you deal with financial splits. If she isn't willing to finalize custody before financials, then tell her you'll see her in court.

Your wife is an adult and will be responsible for finding a residence and managing her finances. Considering the circumstances -- a long term marriage (10+ years) and SAHM status quo -- you're going to be paying the maximum spousal support for at least half the duration of the marriage (if not longer). Stop falling on your sword and giving her everything she wants while you get screwed.

I kept the house in my divorce, and kept the kids in the same school district. This prevents my ex from moving away and taking the kids with her.

vabab8 · 2019-11-12T14:51:01+00:00

Depending on Divorce property settlement you may have to give 50% of the equity and buy her out to keep the house.

2019-11-12T15:14:09+00:00

That's tough. I dont know. I'm divorcing from the wife makes more than me and bought our home before we were married camp. If she gets custody wont they force you to leave her in the home and continue paying for it? I dont know. Maybe some of our breadwinner bros can help. Sorry you're going through this.

HelixFish · 2019-11-12T18:01:36+00:00

The house is just a number on a spreadsheet. If she is otherwise given half the marital equity in the house then there’s no problem. If she can’t afford the house or won’t be able to keep up the house then she needs to realize that and make appropriate decisions.

If you can’t give her her half of the marital equity in the house it may not matter as you’ll have to either a) sell the house to give her the equity or b) make some other agreement to cover this amount (future sale, retirement funds, etc.).

Everything is a value on a spreadsheet. If you have a mortgage on the house then look at the net equity, which may be zero or negative.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2019-11-12T22:57:37+00:00

Lots of missing details here. What state? Is your name the only name on the deed?

If she was a stay at home Mommy, you are almost always on the hook for her “standard of living”. This is a major risk for you. A judge could easily award her enough Alimony + Child Support that you’d barely be able to find an apartment to live in. This is only a question for your attorney. If you don’t have one, stop, do not pass Go, do not as more questions on Reddit, get an attorney.

Usually the houses need to get sold because there are two names on the deed and the person without credit or a way to afford the house is awarded the house. Al’s, your STBX might be awarded more cash to compensate for being such an amazing member of the family and putting off her great career to take care of the family /s

SkeptiCynical · 2019-11-13T15:17:17+00:00

That OTHER divorce sub is garbage, trolled by feminazis and liberal crybabies. It's a women's sub. If you have a penis, stay in this sub for actual, real-world advice for men.

Once the D word is mentioned you are enemies. BUT - if you haven't filed yet, it sounds like she's not particularly motivated to get it started either. That's good, because her mind hasn't been poisoned by the Facebook Cult of Divorced Women. In any case you better start shielding your assets because a divorce with 3 kids and a non-working wife is going to wipe you out. Read the sidebar, it's stickied.

You don't mention why you're divorcing. Before you walk out on your family see if you can get her into therapy. A lot of things happen after middle age and 3 kids. If she wasn't a stellar student or a go-getter earlier in life, she's probably not very motivated to add work and schooling to full-time parenting and trying to navigate a shitty marriage. It sounds like she has no life and no goals.

Do not go into divorce conceding that you won't get 100% custody, or 50% custody, or anything of the sort. Divorce is a civil suit. 90% of divorces end in settlements -- that means one side caves in before a judge hears the case at all. It's a game of mental chess to get her to surrender any claim she has to your shit. If you go in, go in 100% fighting or you will lose a lot more than you think.

If you think that's insensitive, consider this: you're the only one providing any financial support to your family. Does your wife have the necessary skills and restraint to protect and grow your kids' eventual inheritance? Probably not. Shield your money and your assets from her. Divorced women are leeches.

Title	Need your input
Author	tigerteam6
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	November 12, 2019 2:01 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/dvacvb/need_your_input/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-your-input.1202789 https://theredarchive.com/post/1202789

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