I'm three months into a separation (she wanted, I didn't). It's been brutal- I feel like I've finally regained conscious.

We have a wonderful 4 year old daughter. We were together five years, married four. I'm 44, she's 37. I was/am madly in love with her- She's gorgeous, active, very successful and the most organized person I've ever met. I'm a good dude, have a good job and try to make additional income via side investments in real estate.

For a while, I thought things were amazing. However, our communications always seemed to breakdown. She's highly sensitive and over time, any sarcasm, facial expression or disagreement I made was viewed as an attack. She could be hypercritical, cold and unsupportive.

And, I have my own issues: I am profoundly hard of hearing, and struggle with low self-esteem and depression. And I didn't handle my emotions well-- call it the New York-style of conversation-- when our arguments got out of hand. The other challenge was that she tended to withdraw, which only made me try to pull her closer. I thought we didn't fight much, but she said she felt parts of her died whenever we did.

Anyhow, about a year ago, we stopped having sex... I've learned that since our separation, she's slept with a friend of hers, and this weekend is going on a long weekend trip with a guy she met over memorial day weekend.

I try to be pleasant with her as we have many interactions regarding our kid and our changing living situations. We're proceeding to a divorce completely amicably. But fuck... I'm wish we weren't. Whenever we interact, my feelings for her come up. I know that her and my personalities are challenges but I was willing to work on better communication, and getting the trust back. I hate that we're breaking up our family and probably setting each of us on a harder course, financially. And I miss her body.

What should I do? I know, Focus on myself- get mentally and physically healthy. Get my real estate investments revving. And then what, start dating again? Do this whole thing all over again? I'll probably still be missing her. Probably for a long time.